More so than any actual frontier-time outlaw, two Western actors define our image of what a cowboy should be like: John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. Enter Wayne's name into Google and 19 out of 22 images will show him wearing a cowboy hat. Meanwhile, all of Eastwood's most iconic film moments involve him pointing a huge gun at someone.
He used to aim for your hat, now he aims for your balls.
Even outside of their movies, both men are known for being extremely tough and extremely Republican. When Eastwood talked to that empty chair last year, we bet Wayne's ghost shed one single, manly ghost tear.
What They Were Really Like:
If you're good at trivia, you already know that Wayne's real name was Marion Morrison, but you can't hold that against him. What is more surprising is that if there was one thing John Wayne hated more than commies, it was horses. Or at least he hated riding them. Wayne had learned to ride when he was young, so by the time he started making cowboy pictures, he was already fed up with it. In the book John Wayne: The Man Behind the Myth, Wayne is quoted as saying, "I still hate riding horses. I go by truck everywhere I can."
"Can't we replace this with a truck? And maybe give me a cool baseball cap?"
Another thing Wayne hated was hippies, for ducking the Vietnam draft ... even though he himself got out of going to World War II so he could make more cowboy movies (although the studio may have had more to do with that). If those draft-dodging hippies he disliked so much had film contracts, we're sure Wayne would have understood.
There's a rumor that Eastwood hates horses, too, because he's allergic to them, but it isn't confirmed. You know what he does hate, though? Violence. Despite owing so many cinematic moments to guns, Eastwood has criticized violence in movies and supports gun control in real life. Any day now he'll pull a Spielberg and replace them with walkie-talkies in all his old movies.
"Yes, I do have a permit for this one. Punk."
But enough about the stuff he hates, here's something Eastwood loves: singing and writing romantic songs. Besides recording a "cowboy songs" album early in his career, Eastwood wrote the love theme for his movie The Bridges of Madison County, a hit song for Diana Krall, and even the final theme for Gran Torino. We advise you not to listen to the following song if you plan on being intimidated by the man ever again:
Michael Ochs Archives / Stringer / Getty
Elvis Presley is considered the first true rock star, and as such he got the combined amount of rock star pussy accumulated over thousands of years of human civilization. The way the man shook his hips made ripples in the fabric of reality that are still causing spontaneous female orgasms to this day.
Admit it: You just felt something in your vagina, even if you don't have one.
His deep voice, jet black hair, and aforementioned hips turned Elvis into an immortal sex icon -- men wanted to be him, women wanted to do him, and hound dogs wanted to kick his ass for dissing them (you can't win them all).
What He Was Really Like:
Elvis sure loved the ladies, but he had one very specific type: They had to be young (like, school age), and if they looked like his mom, even better.
Elvis used to creep out his friends with his obsession with young girls. In fact, his wife, Priscilla, was introduced to him when she was 14 and he was 24, and according to people who were present that day, the relationship became physical right away. The fact that Elvis was grieving his mother at the time and that Priscilla sorta looked like her makes it even creepier. There are also pictures of Elvis groping a clearly uncomfortable 17-year-old Kay Wheeler, the president of his fan club, who later said, "He should have been under freaking arrest."
Elvis Presley Music
She got her revenge by telling him "You'd look really cool with huge sideburns."
But the man also had a tender side. When he wasn't trying to touch their boobs, Elvis liked to throw pajama parties with teenage girls where he would start pillow fights and teach them to style their hair and put on mascara. Elvis was pretty insecure despite being, well, Elvis, so he preferred younger girls because they didn't seem as threatening to him. He was perfectly capable of seducing older women, though ... and dudes, apparently. Or at least one particular dude. According to Elvis' stepmother, Elvis had a long affair with his good friend Nick Adams, whom he met while shooting his movie Love Me Tender in 1956.
The Rebel & The King
We're just gonna leave this here.
One Elvis biographer claims that the King's manager, Colonel Parker, knew about the affair and used it as a way to control Elvis. If he really wanted to ruin the guy, though, Parker could have just revealed that his trademark black hair was actually dyed, because Elvis was a natural blond.
GAB Archive / Redferns
It's like we don't even know you anymore, Elvis.
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