How to Understand Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy [COMIC]
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Previously Scott has taught us How to Serve Slightly Chilled Revenge and How to Lose at Scrabble With Dignity.
Is the guy on the left who I think it is? Because it wouldn't do Nick Oliveri any harm to read a book about violence against women.
Reply"written by a middle-aged magazine writer who presumably didn't date that much".
Replyf**king hilarious.
THIS IS NOT FUNNY. THERE ARE NO JOKES ANYWHERE IN THIS COMIC. THIS IS A COMEDY WEBSITE. THERE SHOULD BE FUNNY JOKES. THERE ARE NONE. PLEASE STOP POSTING THESE COMICS. THEY SUCK.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesGod dammit.
You know, I would point out that you lack subtlety in your sense of humor, but I feel like your post being in caps lock speaks for itself. Also, your opinion is subjective. Subjectively, I think you're a s**thead.
There are objective opinions?
I think so.
"Women should never go to sweden" loled so hard. Never thought that place was such a s**thole.
ReplyMmm, all the Millenium/Twilight comparission afew post ago has made me wonder how awesome would have Twilight been if lisbeth had taken Bella´s place...
"Im a pig and a sadist stalker"
Now, Millenium would have been some sickly amusing, albeit shorter, tale if Bella was the protagonist.
i just can't figure out which book to read first
ReplyThe one with No.1 printed on it.
Dragon Tatoo
I like how the third box says "analyze plot and characters"...and then completely avoids talking about the plot.
ReplyWhich is fine, because it seems like most of the people commenting here have avoided it as well. Do yourself a favor, read the damn book before commenting on it!
Not bad, but this probably would have been hilarious had I read the books/seen the movie
ReplyNo it wouldn't.
That was pretty good, assuming you've seen the movies or read the books.
ReplyI want to see Seanbaby cover the Larsson Girl Who Punched Men In the Dick books. Or would the lack of graphics be an impediment?
ReplyJust meh.
ReplyUsually I like Basic Instructions, but this one seemed a bit meh. Perhaps because I haven't read any of the books.
ReplySame here.
Agreed. But ya never read the books either
So do any hornet's nests actually get kicked in the series?
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesSerious question.
Hornet's nests is a metaphor for balls, dose that answer your question?
I don't know, but in The Girl That Played With Fire, she really played with fire, if you call dousing your dad with gasoline and throwing a match at him "playing".
I miss my childhood :)
A metaphor for balls? I thought it just meant "caused even more trouble". Not only is it not a metaphor, it's a cliche.
I bet Stieg Larsson has a great argument to the contrary!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesHe's dead, so I would guess no.
Bazinga
But I'm sure his a*****e brother and father do.
Well done.
ReplyLol. XD
ReplyOn a sidenote: In my personal opinion, those books were masterpieces.
That's because you've never read a real book in your life.
You don't have to be such a jerk!
This is not part of my usual commentary on how women are too celebrated and too allowed to spit on men, so don't take this as that:
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesFrom what I can tell, this series is yet another one of those series that try too hard to make the female character awesome.
Notice that I'm not saying that female characters can't or shouldn't be awesome, put the emphasis on "trying too hard."
Which one is the woman again?
I don't know, I don't read them. Um...the dragon tattoo chick I suppose?
I'm the woman! It's the role of a life time!
The fact that you just admitted to not reading the books makes me want to stab you in the throat.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^AGREED SO HARD
You should really read the book before developing an opinion on it.
I shouldn't have to roll around in mud to confirm that it will soil me.
Lisbeth Salander is her name. I've only read part of the first one, I'll eventually get back to it. I'm reading a Clockwork Orange right now though.
Its the thing with the boobies
someone please explain to me: how is it that when a dude writes a book about a thinly-veiled version of himself being the epitome of sexy it's 'literature', but if a women writes a book picturing her being harassed by one hot dude after the other it's something readers are supposed to feel embarrassed about reading.
Reply Hide All See All 15 RepliesBoth can be considered literature, but you should absolutely be embarrassed by reading Stieg Larsson's books.
The very fact that you can't spell Clytemnestra proves that you have no authority on literature.
The answer to your question, when dudes write the stuff you mentioned with the same lack of skill and finesse as the female example (which was pretty clearly twilight, though no names were given) it doesn't get called literature, it gets called crap just the same as the woman's writing does.
Hint: If only women and book reviewers say it's good lit, it isn't.
That's why there's Literature and Women's Literature. They aren't the same thing.
Most of the time it's not what you write about, but How you write about it. That's where miss Meyer fails miserably, so much so that she has created the exact opposite of literature, somehow with the same elements literature uses. That's not to say mister Larsson is a success in this respect. But as mediocre as I feel he is, he's heaps above the aforementioned.
bleh i liked the girl with the dragon tattoo
I think both suck, Clytamnestra. Go take your s**t elsewhere.
Because generally the dude is actually competent? The ones who aren't are also things the reader is supposed to feel embarrassed about reading. Like John Norman's work.
WHAT? I love Gor! It's adorable.
Because women are usually kind of lame in real life where men are more competent, funny, physically able and sensible. USUALLY. Hate me all you want, but you know it's true. I'm and incompetent, stupid, weak, nut-job myself. What can you do?
No need to hate you violet, you seem to have that covered.
The term you're looking for is "Mary Sue" ("Marty Stu" for guys, but that's not as well established). And the reason is that the worst examples for women ended up with Twilight which destroyed not one, but two of the most known horror genres. The worst known example of men isn't quite known or agreed upon because everyone's focusing on how much Stephenie Meyer f**ked up vampires & werewolves. And partly baseball.
Usually it's 'Gary Stu,' Six-Shooter.
Also, there are plenty of books written by men that glorify themselves in their stories. They just don't go as mainstream as those about vampires and werewolves and fairies and other pretty tween-mainstream things.
Even though a character being too unrealistic there can still be somewhat good novels with unrealistic characters. In my opinion what makes a bigger difference is just plainly diction - or the author's word choice - I swear in books like twilight there are no words longer than two syllables, just the way its written you can tell its aimed at pubescent girls, kind of pathetic really
Because usually romances are embarassing, regardless who writes them. Many women enjoy reading romances that focus on the emotional/undying love aspect, and men just want s**t to explode. Therefore, books targeted to women are embarrassingly soppy reads and books that are guy-targeted romances tend to be all about how unbearably cool and explody the guys is (oo7, we're looking at YOU).
Oh and Violet, about your comment on women... WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT OF THE KITCHEN?!
The other day i saw a guy, all dressed up as a 'bohemian/hippie', like the kind you picture in a cafe talking endlessly about Sartre and Nietzche. He had a book in his hands. That book was Twilight. Part of me died that day.
Goes with a good MILKSHAKE!
ReplyI'm still confused.
ReplyAsk the person reading it to you to slow down.
You made my day, CleverHans !
and he sayeth to his disciples, "first."
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesYou have returned to reclaim your rightful throne, duderall! There have been many false "first" prophets in your absence, but we held faith that you would one day come back, and...
Okay, I got him distracted- GET THE CRUCIFIX BOYS!!! ;)
ZOMG HAI MR CHOCO!!!!! i've missed you in my absence, darling. However, i have come back to claim the throne to firstdom! I know the incomprehensible amounts of joy you must be feeling from my return can be a bit overwhelming, as i have the same trouble every morning when i look into a mirror. Its just so damn hard getting over my splendor, my grace, and my dominance all at the same time. I promise i will never make you go a week without me.
I am never distracted, only winning. Tiger blood bro.
I have the same trouble every morning looking into *my* mirror, but that's because I forget what I look like and then think someone's mooning me out the window. Tiger blood might just worsen the effect- sometimes I can't tell if I've got a nosebleed or a hemmorroid...
@ButtChocolate: Could it be both?
(besides, The Almighty Ericho, Lord Of Listings, visited me in my sleep and made a list of things to do for us faithful. First on the list: eliminate the false prophets of First Post. Get your butt in gear, i'll call dreadd.)
Please read my book about the proper and responsible use of tigerblood. Face melting can occur in people who are not winners.
I never learned there was any circlejerk on Cracked's comment section. Get a room (and a personality) you two. And you, last commenter, get a f**king joke of your own, you sad unfunny f**k.
They're testing the "sodajerk" button on the beta site right now before the site relaunch. There's also a "chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry" setting, and "malt" and "root beer", too. OH! You said *circle* jerk... no wonder all I was getting from the nozzle was cream...
Look sprayette, if you're feeling left out, just ask to join nicely. The s**t fit you're pitching isn't fooling anyone.
Mr ButtChocolate, I love you and your sarcastic bastardry. I don't care that bastardry isn't a word.