6 Scientific Reasons Breakups Suck Worse Than You Think
In the days or weeks after breaking up with the love of your life, you probably thought things couldn't get much worse. And that's why we have science to let you know that, well, they actually can.
Yes, as if it's not bad enough that you're losing the one person who will remember to inform the singing waiters at Olive Garden that it's your birthday, it turns out that ending a relationship can actually have other awful, long-lasting effects on your life.

As we pointed out in this article, the people around you can influence your behavior in bizarre ways. The choices your friends and family make in their lives, good or bad, end up influencing the decisions you make as well. And it seems that this is even more true when it comes to the ends of relationships: There's an excellent chance that your breakup is going to somehow cause the breakup of someone else in your circle.

"We need some time apart, now if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy my friends' relationships."
How Bad Can it Be?
When a couple breaks up or divorces, their immediate friends and family are 75 percent more likely to break up as well.

Kind of like how the breakup of the Beatles eventually caused the breakup of Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
On one hand, that's sort of expected in that humans certainly like to imitate each other (for that is the stuff fads and fashions are made of). But not when it's something bad, right? After all, when your friend gets fired from his job you don't go get fired from yours. Unless you secretly hate your job.
So there's a fascinating dynamic here, because it almost implies that everybody around you is just waiting for an excuse to break up with their partner, and just need you to give them permission by breaking up with yours first. Especially if whatever conflicts broke up your relationship (money problems, personality) are present in theirs as well.

Money, personality and clowns are just three common conflicts that can lead to breakups.
You've set the precedent that these things can be considered deal breakers. You've given them their excuse.
Of course, there's also the pressure that suddenly-single guys put on their not-single friends. They want to live life as a single, swinging dude, and press their friends to tag along. They reluctantly agree, and then suddenly that single lifestyle starts looking like a pretty sweet alternative to watching one's old ball and chain cut her toenails on a Saturday night.

Half of the world's movies, songs, raps and vintage wine cooler ads revolve around people saying, and totally meaning, that they would die for someone they love. This all seems very noble, but the sad fact is this partly happens because love is one seriously powerful drug.

A drug that Meatloaf would do just about anything for.
It's science. When shown a picture of someone you are in love with, the centers of your brain responsible for motivation and reward (the same that are stimulated by other addictive substances like drugs and alcohol) become more active.

And that is part of what makes being in love so great: You get an actual physical high from being around the object of your affection.
How Bad Can it Be?
Like anything that makes you feel good, studies have found that humans can actually get addicted to the high they get from relationships. That's right, you might as well face it: You're addicted to love.

A surprising number of Robert Palmer songs are based on scientific theorems.
While that addiction makes being in a relationship all that much better, the very bad side of this comes when you break up. Have you ever seen anyone try to quit smoking or drinking? Without knowing it, you have been putting your body through the same thing after breaking up with someone you love. If you breakup and go "cold turkey," part of the pain you feel comes from actual withdrawal symptoms. You're not getting your regular hit of sweet, sweet lovin'.

Hey ladies, thinking of leaving your guy? Awesome. Prepare to be poorer. After a breakup, a woman's financial situation becomes much worse than when she was in a relationship. That's not really so surprising though, even in this day and age women make less than men. Oddly enough, men actually have 20 percent MORE money in the years after a breakup. We're sure there is no completely stereotypical reason why.

But you won't enjoy your Jimmy Choo-less existence for long, guys. While you may be rolling around in piles of money, you're going to need it in order to pay for all the Popov you'll be shotgunning. Men tend to get lonelier than women after a breakup, and are statistically more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol.
If that sounds obvious, understand that we're not talking about the rough few weeks after the relationship ends. We're talking years.
How Bad Can it Be?
Both men and women were found to be unhappier four years on than people in similar unhappy relationships who didn't break up. An entire presidential term later and women were still two percent poorer. A year after the breakup, only 29 percent of men surveyed said they felt satisfied with their lives.

To be fair, they said it between doing lines of blow.
And 29 percent of men who were still single reported feeling sad and lonely four years after the breakup. Ending a relationship can send shock waves that even years of healing can't fix. Geez, why are we even bothering with this dating thing in the first place?

Oh, right.








... any minute now...
ReplyWell, I should be dead by now.
ReplyI swear I've seen that boob pic at the bottom of page one in at least a half dozen articles on here. Not that I'm complaining, mind.
ReplyOh, come on!
Reply"X causes cancer" is about the most popular form of bullshit statistics there are.
Breakups are right up there with cellphones, artificial sweeteners and microwave ovens, but who am I to suggest correlation may not equal causation?
By the way, bullshit causes of cancer are the subject of an older, much better Cracked article.
It's saying depression weakens the immune system, which weakens your bodies ability to fight cancer and other ailments. Since break-ups are the number one cause of depression, you can follow the.logic. Also, sadly most things in our modern life do slightly increase the risk of cancer, so its not bullshit.
Women are definitely not making less than men. More women are in the workforce than men. A Man's death comes through his wife.
ReplyThere are more women in the workforce than women, true...but we are not comparing the COMBINED income of all the women in the world with the COMBINED income of all the men... Women still make an average of 77cents to every dollar a man makes, for the SAME JOB, the SAME hours, the SAME level of experience... that is also a fact.
My psycho (diagnosed by a doctor sociopath) of an ex-girlfriend dumped me after telling me she used me to get out of a bad situation in another state. This is after she radically cut me off from my family, made me switch medication I was on to different medication (anxiety stuff) and threatened to leave me if I didn't quit smoking even though she had NO PROBLEM with it when she needed to move in with me right away and knew I had no intentions of quitting.
ReplyStill my fugged up brain (almost 3 years later) reflects on what I could have done in different situations to keep her from getting angry enough to leave me. Even though 99% of the time we were arguing about something, I still focus more on what little 1% of good she had in her.
Oh and after we broke up I lost like 30 pounds, successfully changed meds, made a 180 in my life, and regained the friends she isolated me from. Yet on those cold lonely nights, I still wonder "What if"....FML!
At least you quit smoking. Always look at the bright side of life.
I definitely would give a lot of credit to the stuff in this article. Been dealing with a lot of crap (eg. not being able to find ANYONE at ALL to even hope to start the process with and getting ridiculed in the process) in the dating scene. Been noticing a lot of physical ailments lately like a LOT of pains in my joints (I'm 22 for god's sake, lol), as well as weird heart beat patterns. Sorry if this isn't the place or the time, but at this point, I've damn close to giving up on life itself. If ya'll want me to kill this comment, just let me know, I will. Just not sure where to turn anymore, can't talk to anyone about this anymore...
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesI prescribe...watching small children fall over?
If you're going to do that, buy a nice camera and pipe that s**t out to the internet.
Is there a question/problem that CAN'T be solved by watching small children fall over? (aside from injuries to children obviously)
Don't worry. You're only 22. You still have plenty of time to find other better girls who will mean even more to you than she ever did. Plenty of time to fall in love again and, eventually, have your heart broken again. It doesn't get any easier, but it's still be better than the alternative.
You're very wise for a chunky ten year old.
This is why I dig this site. I got dumped out of an engagement almost a year ago, and I can safely say that just about everything up to the "broken heart" and (maybe) cancer bit...
ReplyWait a second....you mean the end of Episode III wasn't complete bullshit?
ReplyMIND BLOWN
I think a lot of you would agree I rather march 50 miles while 60 pounds of stuff that ever go through a heartbreak again
Reply"That's right, you might as well face it: You're addicted to love." Haha this was great. Strangely comforting read after recently going through a break-up
Replycan anyone help me? I have several people close ot me going through a rocky bad relationship. As in, weeping from how stressful it is to their happiness and self esteem every night. I feel so awful for their pain, and having seen my folks divorce and eventually recover with new better people over time, I have tried to suggest they move on from these bad people and life will just go on and get eventaully better. But they are very deeply hurting and afraid to be alone and physically/psychologically deeply stressed. I almost see every one of these traits nearly being possible or already somewhat occuring. I dont want to coerce her into a breakup if it will do more damage to her to be even more sad alone/completely stressed out than try to sit down with this guy for the 90000th time and request that he have just a pinch of mature respect for her. She feels seriously guilty because the guy is also on the same broken edge as she is. But they clash so badly every day. I dont want to get involved or be a bossy person, but I want her to be happy and not in pain too, whether she is single or not. What should I do??
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWell if you can stand it just be there to listen. Do not take sides by criticizing one or the other because you then become a target for their anger/frustration, especially if they get back together.
They got into the relationship and they must work through it.
Drink more beer.
They should seek professional counseling, e.g., a minister, social worker, psychologist, etc. Seriously. Now.
So, it's basically all "waaaah waaaah waaaah, listen to me whine while I completely ignore you" without any reciprocal sex involved. I've been there and done that. It sucks. I know they're your friends and all, but there's no sense in your damaging yourself over people who won't listen anyway. Do what you can and move on.
Best of luck, 'bro.
My circle of friends gave me the boot when I proposed to my girl. She closed my hand around the ring, looked into my eyes, and said "I never want to see you again." My friends decided it was more fun to hang around with her and my best friend (who she had apparently been banging for a few months on the side, he had the time after he dropped out of college.) I was told if I was willing to act like nothing happened I could hang out with them again though. I didn't.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesI actually had to learn to be social and make friends again, people said my personality completely changed. I lost 30 pounds in 2 weeks, and barely passed my finals during that time. I try to be the friend who can help friends now, I know it can burn...
Good for you. It does get better.
Grab some beers to celebrate.. you're better without those idiots anyway!
I...that...what...I have never heard of anyone's entire social group simultaneously f**k them in the ass, but...I applaud your non-suicide. Wow.
I call bullshit on this one.
The 'personality-changing' part is very painful.
There's a reckless girl in my life. Every time I get rid of her, I run back to get another taste, to make sure I did the right thing. I feel as if the only way I can survive getting rid of her is by changing... but I like who I am.
My parents are going through a divorce....
ReplyI worry for them.
My wife and I while we were dating had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend and almost immediately tried to turn my wife(at the time girlfriend) against me and it almost worked of course we have since found out she seems to have a thing for guys like me so...
ReplySome girls are bitches. Period.
^ Semi-permanent if they like doggy style.
Lame #1 reason (cancer).
ReplyI think we can all agree that humans are not wusses.
ReplyI actually got richer and lonelier after my boyfriend and I broke up. Maybe I'm a man! Or maybe he's a deadbeat...
ReplyMy ex husband split on me six years ago after ten years of marriage and three kids. Even though it was a case of good riddance to bad rubbish and caused a great many things to change for the better in my life, I DID go through an impulsive period and got up to my neck in student loans to earn a degree I haven't used. I always kind of wondered if that might have been due to the divorce.
ReplyNo offense, it just sounds like you're looking for something, or someone, else to blame for that.
"No matter how strong or independent you think you are or you were before the relationship, your ability to know who you are gets thrown totally out of whack after a breakup."
ReplyOr, alternatively, your ability to know who you are gets thrown totally out of whack WHILE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP and breaking up makes you realise how far you've gone from yourself.
Little from column A, little from column B.
Sounds about right, in my experience. I definitely "lost" myself in my last relationship, which was actually really bad for the relationship. =/