OH GOD WHAT DO WE PUT HERE: THE ROUND-UP
The regular guy is out and none of us have any idea how to do this round-up. We're pretty sure we need a quote from that shitty Lewis Carroll poem and some slanderous references towards commenters. How the hell do we finish this paragraph out? Babba-booi? Babba-booi.
First Swaim lazied up our Sunday with this article about a dead British playwright. Bucholz wakes us up on Monday with a warning about the coming Robocalypse. Next up, Brockway reveals a spectacular abortion of words by Michael Bay. Then we have Seanbaby's inaugural post about how to responsibly make fun of shit. True to form, Dan O'Brien closes us off with a shockingly racist article about the IRS.
He took his Vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought. |
 6 Writers Who Accidentally Crapped Out Masterpieces.
One day this round-up will be in a museum. |
Notable Comment: "I once tried to recreate Fear and Loathing...if by "recreate" you mean got really wasted and watched Fear and Loathing...which I'm preeeetty sure you did." You've got our number down pat, Jack-O.
Fuck the Man! |
 5 Popular Safety Laws (That Don't Work)
Shockingly, it turns out that sometimes the government doesn't know best. How very surprising. |
Notable Comment: Jpj420 pretty much sums it up, "People are f*****g retarded."
GLOWBOX GUD |
 7 T.V. Ads That Take Themselves Way Too Seriously
There is a certain art to good commercials. These commercials aren't art. |
Notable Comment:"Movie piracy causes AIDS. Movie piracy kills kittens.Movie piracy makes cherubs cry." Chicoboy, we hope you're right, because few things have the raw erotic power of a weeping cherub.
CRAZY PLUNGERS! |
 5 Retarded Health Campaigns That Backfired Hilariously
TWO articles about retarded government failures? Cracked is on the cutting edge of neo-cyber-anarcho-gangster sentiments!
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Notable Comment: lol_alf comes up with a brilliant PSA. ""eine cigarette, mein fuehrer?" "nein!!" be like hitler - don't smoke. "
MYSTERY! |
 Underdogs of War: 6 Tiny Nations That Kicked Ass.
Sometimes the little guy has a big stick. |
Notable Comment: "Pepper mines? Really? I'm pretty sure plant products aren't mined." Off to the pepper mines with Vaultboy.
Magic Hugs! |
 The Only Cause Supported By Every Movie Star (But One)
Shiny and new! |
YOU YOU YOU! |
 What 23 Famous Movie Characters Would Be Doing Today.
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Wishes Gone Wrong!
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4.9.09:
I'd give him money, but he'll just spend it on people.
by tallestmunchkin
Editor's pick:
R2-Detox
by RobertJSawyer
4.8.09:
Stephen Hawking attempts the "69"
by xgrendelx
Editor's pick:
I dunno why, really. When I walked into the sex shop, it just caught my eye and I had to have it.
by crazyivan
4.7.09:
There can be only one Douchelander.
by mrpeabody
Editor's pick:
His methods may be questionable, but my drain is now completely unclogged.
by geniuswaitress
4.6.09:
The special ed. department's field trip went very wrong very quickly.
by orphan
Editor's pick:
Well, he saw his shadow. Looks like six more months of war.
by TheBeatles
4.5.09:
O.K. so the first North Korean missile test wasn't as big a deal
by DrTom
Editor's pick:
Just the people to call if you home suddenly bursts into water.
by Shane?
4.4.09:
There was a farmer who had a dog and 0100001001001001010011100100011101001111 was his name-o.
by Amer
Editor's pick:
LASS-E
by stevie92
4.3.09:
The cravings followed Bob for the rest of his life; no matter what he did it was like a giant angry cigarette was just behind him.
by MillsC9
Editor's pick:
In the UK, that there would be called a giant fag. In the US, he'd be called a biker.
by 2noname
