Leaf
Thanks to PETA, fire departments can't extinguish fires anymore. They have to re-locate them.
MillsC9
NO, no, no, no, no. A Fire Truck doesn't DELIVER fire, it supposed to put.... oh never mind.
Eddy_69
In San Francisco, firemen don't quite operate the same as the do in the rest of the country.
imacipod
If this was in Japan..this would make a hell of a lot more sense as to what was going on.
Acrox
When fire destroys houses, fire is fought using water. Sometimes, water destroy houses. These guys just did the math.
Julius_Goat
FDNY chief Richards heard "Hey slow down, where's the fire?" one too many times. "HERE'S THE GODDAM FIRE! HERE IT IS! HERE! HERE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Blinker_Fluid
The prank war got out of control when Frank decided to catapault the flaming bag of dog crap onto his opponent's roof instead of leaving it on the porch, ringing the doorbell and running away.
Leaf
"You know what, forget I called you guys! I'm sure Buttons can make it down the tree himelf!!"
mysecretbush
No, no, I insist, Firemen. Go ahead and start your truck on fire. That's why I called you to come to the burning orphanage.
Shabadoo
but on the eighth day, God decided to have a larf and start making people without common sense or survival instinct.
mysecretbush
When you fight fire with fire, it really doesn't help out those people who are on fire.
imacipod
Some people took out their lighter while the band played...but bobby wanted to go the extra mile.
xiquiripat
Russia's New Year was mostly a time of celebration...and fear. Actually, it was mostly fear.
Blinker_Fluid
While they were doing this an apartment complex burned down leaving 40 people homeless.
Gregoclock
other (less) funny craptions today may include irrelevant Scientology jokes, a couple of old variations from the "Not Pictured" series and at least one menopausal joke about "flares".
shart_bite
It was pretty tragic at the time, but now it's actually a pretty funny story.
skinnyboy
"I don't give a shit if its a millennium old olympic tradition, running around with torches is just plain unsafe" lectured the chief as he snatched another out of the runners hand.
pope22
It never occurred to us that "fire department" would need explaining during the rebuilding of Iraq....
Jefftildeath
Ol' Grampa was crazy, but we humored his birthday wish, knowing he could never light the moon on fire.
DarkMatter
As a matter of public safety, only a fire marshall is qualified to place the candles on Abe Vigoda's birthday cake each year.
Blinker_Fluid
They're going to burn down the castle of the mad scientist who created the dog in yesterday's craption.
Buck_Nasty
The city celebrates the fire department's new motto, "It's not arson if you're on a fire truck"
slash2049
You know how weightlifters can't scratch their own backs... this is similar...
Raliant
We're here at the launch field where Mexico is attempting their first manned orbital mission.
dirtyhippie007
The firefighters who graduated last in their class were all given a separate truck and assignments, for quite obvious reasons.
Milkman
"Nope. Can't see anything yet" "Try bringing the torch closer to the oil drums then."
ahoythere4
The crowd at Burning Man was so high, they didn't realize they forgot to build a Burning Man until it came time to light it.
tallestmunchkin
While undeniably crowd-pleasing, the Rube Goldberg firetruck never really caught on.
CorruptUser
Due to the economy, the fire trucks doubled as ice cream trucks. The result was awesome.
ubensu
santa lost his sled,, so now he uses a missile off of his jolly firetruck of firey doom
Swiffo
Thanks to some outside-the-box thinking by PETA a controversial new law now requires fires to be humanely captured and given a fair trial before applying capital punishment.
Leaf
"Okay Alanis, now what is this?" "Um... Ironic?" "That's right!! And when it rains on your wedding day" "Just shitty luck?" "Excellent, excellent!!"
DSW
Some sports historians blame The Amazing Yuri's 12 man trapeze Passing of the Torch tragedy of 1982 that killed 70 spectators for Russia's failure to host the Olympic Games since.
twiglet
OH GOD DAVE HURRY UP AND GET RID OF IT THERES ANOTHER ONE COMING OUT OF MY HEAD AGAIN!
suitesned
After extinguishing the fire at the apartment complex, the fire department brought back some samples for analysis.
Smithers
It's like handguns, you just gotta know what your doing. ... Message from Fire Safety Campaign.
leftbehind123
As he scaled the ladder Tommy started to think that he was taking the whole fart lighting thing a little too far.
CardCraze
And then God Said, "Let there be a big ass explosion!" ans Steve dropped the torch.
rchris1770
This is why the Fire Departments in Poland are considered some of the worst in the world.
Truthiness
When I said I wanted an Irish Fire Truck Bomb, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
plynchy888
Oh thank God, someone already made a Craption about Soviet Russia, that saves me coming up with something witty for today.
rarwkabibles
"Okay.... just gotta put the torch in the holder and the firecracker should be ready!"
rlrsk8r1
Man discovered fire, woman put a fucking LEASH on it, man totally kicked her ass at that, and then did this to celebrate.
.O.G.
The U.S where being literal when they said they where taking more fire power into Afghanistan
the-observer
The Superbowl pyrotechnic displays became somewhat less impressive after the recession hit.
toryoom
It takes a village to raise a child. But it only takes three drunken rednecks with a fire truck to raze a village.
SlimTheSham
It was some time after the apocalypse when they ran out ammunition that they began to use circus ringmasters as weapons.
imacipod
Oh man...last night was fun...what happened?...oh something to do with lighting the midnight sky..so to speak.
Christine
The fire delivery truck arrives in North Korea, maybe one day they'll figure out how to create it......
Via-Sol
The fire department's April Fool's stunt. Needless to say, their popularity with the populace plummeted.
mowmow
"We have found a witch! May we burn her?" "How do you know she's a witch?" "She looks like onen!" Good enough for me.
Binak_Algo
I give up I’m never going to understand these American college’s initiation rites
PwnageEngage
The olypics are stepping it up this year, making the torch carrying an actual event
ubensu
so bob, running to the olympics with the torch is slow and boring, we need to fix that
Chyno
Due to the recession. The organizers of the 2012 Olympics in London had to make some cutback to the opening ceremony
DarkMatter
Reeling from a lack of funds and needed equipment, the fire department found that it was more cost effective to transport fire to rehabilitation centers instead.
StoutMastaFlex
After the apocalypse, GM saved the auto industry with the new "authentic" TrailBlazer.
darkPrince010
"I thought you said there'd be a trampoline at the bottom of the jump, not more flaming barrels..."
Slowmotion
Maybe telling the 'special' fire squad to fight fire with fire may not have been a good idea.
Ewad
Unaware Tom knew he had been sleeping with his wife, Jeff dutifully offered to put the last flaming torch" up the pole...
TomTomN
The fire truck is a solitary creature. It can consume 5x it's own body weight in one sitting. The ambulances will have to wait thier turn
Ewad
The recent strategy of getting to fires quicker, propelling firefighters from makeshift missiles, was not going down so well...
iantendo
these Palestinian surface to air missiles don't seem as advanced as their Israeli counterparts...
batron
The direct english to vietnamese translation of "how to start your own fire brigade" was quickly looking like a tragic mistake.
Eugene
Three drunken and tragically misguided firefighters rushing to the scene of a flood.
TwigTheThird
That explains the fire truck in The Dark Knight! It was a Stag Night gone wrong! D'uh!
Meiyo
To commit mass suicide: light a giant wick and attach it to an oil barrel. Scream until you are burnt to a fine crisp.
2noame
Sure, it's all fun and games until someone carrying a torch falls into a collection of flaming barrels of gasoline on top of a firetruck blowing the fuck out of a gathered crowd of disembodied heads.
Sunbroom
Dammit Frank, you better step on it! I am NOT missing this year's Fireman's Luau...not again...
TwigTheThird
"Optimus, it looks like they captured him alive but soon he shall be sacrificed..."
HappyCamperXD
Alright, we just need about 10 more of these big ass candles for the biggest birthday cake in the world, and we'll set the record!
darthtanion
Somehow I don't think this is what they meant when they said "Fight fire with fire."
Boxy
Obama's Std missle defense system is not as intimidating as Reagans', North Korea is laughing at us.
lowkey
HAHAHA. You two are the craziest motherfu...OH SHIT! You've attracted a hoard of flesh eating zombies.
smoochy
The best part of the show is when the Clowns on Tricycles try to jump this thing.
burjennio
the pyrotechnics for the new Michael Jackson tour didnt live up to his previous shows
Geux
While none watched, pyromaniac took control over Fire Department, and brainwashed them all!
sofaking
In this country the fire department, is a literal translation. They don't put out fires, they start them.
phasersonfunky
Quick, somebody call the fire department I think that truck is -- Oh Goddammit.
frenchlauan
Thats just fucking ridiculous ... How do they expect to cross that power Line!!!
TwigTheThird
Actions speak louder than words. And the words oddly enough are the lyrics to "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix
Horton The Elephant
I don't think that's what they mean when they say "fire department."
pivot
5 seconds later, when phil was lieing in a pile of smoldering wreckage, watching as the crowd burned to death, he thought that maybe that it hadn't been such a HOT idea. Get it?
funwithguns
North Korea's initial response to the ballistic missile was less than successful. I doubt NATO knew about this.
funwithguns
And when the band hit the road, they couldn't get rid of the fans, so they had to improvise.
Brock_Danger
And, once again, Rupert completely misinterpreted the meaning of the word fire truck. He would return to the drawing board, but he yes to figure out how to teach a piece of cardboard to draw.
Brock_Danger
And, once again, Rupert completely misinterpreted the meaning of the word fire truck. He would return to the drawing board, but he has yet to figure out how to teach a piece of cardboard to draw.
ELFfromToronto
O.K. so the first North Korean missile test wasn't as big a deal WRONG! it was bigger then what we thought
a55mond
If the building fire wont come to them.... they will take the fire to the building!!!!
Mjolnir!
Mary had a Death Machine,Death Machine, Death Machine. Mary had a Death Machine, and it was wreated in flame.
ctown8183
Playing king of the mountain with fire had its drawbacks..such as third degree burns.
jennifinch
Nintendo responses to consumer demand for life-like gaming peripherals by announcing the new "Live Action Version of Donkey Kong".
rambo89
Firemen experiment new and innovative ways to replace the annoying sirens and flashing lights. On an unrelated note, job related injuries sky-rocket in fire departments.
timemaster
Little did they know that this was actually iran's first nuclear missle test!
rambo89
Due to financial issues, the firemen had to get creative to replace their sirens and flashing lights.
Gwenhyvar
Man conquered it, women leashed it, men kicked her ass at that....and that's how Fire War I started.
codespyder
One does not simply walk into Mordor. But no one ever said anything about catapulting into Mordor.
PLizzle
Only in Asia would they strap people on rockets to ensure their successful detonation.
jaydog888
Budweiser's marketing scheme for its new product "Firewater" turned into a nightmare when the authentic indian actors hired to push the new brew, drank it instead.
deroest
The whole town rallied to set little lying Jimmy's pants on fire and hang them from a telephone wire.
DoucheBaggery
The ambulances tried to copy their concept, but the dead bodies rotted too quickly.
mitchbuchannon
in soviet russia the only thing that is colder then fire is another fire (so we use it to fight fire). isn't it clewer?
Arthur_Dent
After capturing the fire, the local FD was accosted by an unruly mob demanding its immediate release.
crackpnt69
Man in truck. "So let me get this straight? If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, and therefore A WITCH!" Man on ladder "She turned me into a newt! Get her!!!"
jomeh
How idiots spend the night: Steve: Hey Joe! Can u see the sun yet? Joe: Damn! The sun hides pretty well.
Dwayne_Dibbley
For the department's occupational health and safety representative this was the final flagrant abuse of regulations.
jomeh
"Heal the world Make it a better place For you and for me And the entire human race There are people dying..."
Rasgard
The crowd watched in awe as the fire department unveiled their new fire truck. The Extinguisher.
Rasgard
The crowd watched in awe as the fire department unveiled their new fire truck. The extinguisher!
zeno_zabatsu
sometimes those cats that get stuck in trees need to be taught a lesson... with fire
mlouzon
When the Olympics are in Mexico they are a little less glamorous than in other parts of the world.
the-observer
The Norwegian Eco-Space Program: Attempting to send hippies into space since 1987!
Lazers
Running your country for dummies; page 116; Chapter one: How to tell if your emergency services receive too much funding.
142400
That's smart its all but a matter of time until smokey beats the crap out of you...
raeve
The Fire Squad was created to create intentional fires to get rid o the boredom suffered by firemen
hugh20
Putting a fire on top of a fire on top of a firetruck is just fucking retarded, and is not safe.
matt1815
The London 2012 Olympic opening ceremony wasn't quite as impressive as that of the Chinese
Aquashake
An avid weed smoker, Paul Bunyon would have been a complete stoner if it didn't take the townspeople such a hastle to light the bong
Rex-Jester
The Boy Scouts' demonstration of the effects Venereal Disease really hit home this year.
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