MillsC9
The cravings followed Bob for the rest of his life; no matter what he did it was like a giant angry cigarette was just behind him.
2noame
In the UK, that there would be called a giant fag. In the US, he'd be called a biker.
DarkMatter
I hereby cancel my subscription to your magazine, "Bikes And Butts". I can't jerk-off to this shit.
Iapyx
After a five year relationship, Rob Halford and Poppin' Fresh broke up. As Rob rode away he told himself not to look back...don't look back Rob. Don't look back.
Oops
"Hey that's the motherfucker who kept sucking my face and then threw me in the streets..."
Esko2
Harley looked in his rear-view mirror. He felt safe as he watched his fellow citizens take down another giant cigarette. Little did he know Smokey stood right behind him. Even the little girl in pink couldn't save him THIS time.
warcraft004
The lady in the rascal scooter is about to race this skin head, for pink slips.
CavalierX
Pictured: the awesome irony of a person dressed as a cigarette marching behind a smoke-belching motorcycle for miles.
Blinker_Fluid
These adorable cigarette costumes are sure to convince kids not to smoke.
iantendo
man I wish this website was British so I could write 100 "fag" craptions and have people actually understand them
bigj2k
tired of all the slow labors of causing lung cancer, the cigarette decided its time to resort to good old fashioned rape.
COITUS
In later news an ironic situation developed at an anti-smoking rally today when a man dressed like a cigarette stood too close to a motorcycle exhaust."
humanity
Surgeon General's warning: Standing in the middle of the goddamn road in a limited visibility costume can cause loss of limbs and death.
Milkman
8-Ball thought his leather chaps would silence his fart, but he could never fool Smokey.
FloydotheGreat
I don't care if makes you look gay, if you don't put your arms around my waiste you're gonna keep falling off!
Tcannon
Rather than focus solely on senseless violence, the Hell's Angels also have a strong anti-smoking message. It is "Stop smoking or I'll shove this tire iron in your eye."
OCHOE
I don't blame him. If she's so ugly you have to put a paper bag over her whole body, I would ride a motorcycle 5 feet in front of her in public too
Leaf
Paul rode away in disgust. He'd never live down losing a race to that old man in an electric wheel chair....
dubiousmx
Nicorette employs the Hell's Angels as part of it's new Stop Smoking or We'll Kill You campaign.
connan
That's right buddy! You just ride away! You know I will kick your ass (in 40 years after a serious case of lung cancer and influzema)!
zeno_zabatsu
Oldham Community Health Services Urges You To Stop Smoking Or Else Your Addiction Will Slowly Get The Better Of You Until It Finally Rises Up Sneaks Up On You And Rapes You
meikamo
When the Hell's Angel looked in his mirror to find he was being chased by a giant cigarette, he immediately stopped and waited for the giant bottle of Jim Beam.
mhb
If anything is going to stop children from smoking, it's that guy wearing assless chaps.
DarthGazebo
The sandals suggest a laid back butt, but the gloves say he's gonna stick a finger up one........
crazyivan
Steve checked his mirror. Just as he'd feared, "Wrong Way" Freddie was fucking up the parade... AGAIN.
Actionopoly
Oldham Community Health Services couldn't figure out why patients didn't trust them in their new uniforms.
jtklove
He has a sticker on the back that says: "If you can read this, the butt fell off".
phreesh
I don't know about you, but I love that I live in a world where somebody is employed as a 'sneering cigarette mascot manufacturer'
Wrecked
The emissions from the Harley were so bad, even the cigarette mascot couldn't stand it.
LordOfTheDance
Tensions boiled over at contestants' interpretations of the "Dress Like a Fag" competition.
demonk911
As Francis hot wired a motorcycle to escape the oncoming zombies, he knew it was too late. The smoker caught him..
iceman_419
Suddenly an army of giant cigarets popped out of no where. All seemed lost until this man showed up. A man called hope.
lumberjef
This guy should look out for Chris Hansen from “To Catch a Predator.” What, I’m not the only one who writes their craption before it post.
Saccharin
Photo courtesy of the Cyberdine T-1 publicity campaign to encourage humans to smoke.
Paradoxtim
Mr. Barnett thought his smoking habits would go away...he would just have these funny cravings sneak up on him.
iantendo
"LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU A GIANT CIGARETTE!" "Yeah right I'm not falling for that one again..."
getittwistd
Disney World's new mascots were removed from the park the very same day they debuted.
mabogo
Hey Pal, I don't care HOW much of a badass you are...DON'T drop your butts on the road like that!
Zaphod
Oh yeah?! well, I may have been a redhead and gone prematurely grey, but at least I'm not BALD!!
bcanders
Won't give me a costume, will you! Will I'll show you. I'll SHOW YOU ALL, HA HA HAAAA
crazyivan
I'm afraid to type anything really derisive, for fear the dude on the bike will find me and smash a beer bottle over my head.
getittwistd
You think I look funny in this costume buddy? Yeah, you're turtlenecked motorcycle look is really attracting a crowd! Oh wait, that's road kill this family stopped to see, not you, bitch.
isles147
I told him cigarettes would kill him but he didnt listen. Snuck right up behind him and BOOOM cancer.
FloydotheGreat
In the bloodiest turf war in American history, the Hell's Angels took on the Satan's Cancer Agents. Few survived, and the ones who did will never be the same!
Anthony_H
First that thing of the taxes, now this? I DON'T WANT TO QUIT SMOKING DAMN IT!
kshipley
All your motorcycles are belong to us... In Soviet Russia Cigarette Smokes You... I'm masterbating so hard right now... Where will you be when diareah strikes... (clever comment about background character)... Leather, Gay, Poop, Ass, Dick Jokes.
Actionopoly
The town was over-run by the monsters. Women and children were herded away from the danger. Who would answer their prayers? It was then that Rodney the biker arrived with one mission: Smoke and enjoy.
isles147
The angry cigarette mafia does not like quitters, if you stop smoking they are going to get you
Actionopoly
"So how can we get more kids to smoke?" "Sir, I have an idea. And it might just be crazy enough to work..."
bilbo1
Captain Picard and Worf where the only ones to ever truly get into the spirit of Halloween.
crazyivan
The Hells Angels had successfully surrounded the SUV, but they hadn't counted on the No Smoking gang showing up!
Derec
"Hey little boy! I'll give you a smoke if you come on my bike" "Hey mister! If you give me a carton I'll come on your face"
Leaf
Two weeks after receiving his Hell's Angels patch, Paul found that it wasn't helping him quit smoking at all!!
Spamman
It's funny that the cigarette is the one making the wierd face, as if he sees something strange. Well....
bcanders
"Yeah, that's right, ride away, just like you always do. You never fit in, any way."
FloydotheGreat
Oh look! It's Biker Bob. Look at him wrong and he'll cut your throat with a broken beer bottle. Hey, there's Sammy Cigarette, just waiting to fill your lungs with a thousand cancerous tumors. This is the best Easter parade ever!
Blinker_Fluid
Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting smoking now greatly reduces the risk of severe beatings by bikers.
iantendo
I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle... also have you got a light?
2noame
"Objects in mirror may be cooler than they appear? Not likely, unless that fucker is menthol."
Leaf
People dressed up as cigarettes really bothered Paul, but it was the half naked unfiltered cigarette costumes that really pissed him off.
fielder69
I don't like the look of that cig. The sandals say "i don't give a fuck", but the gloves say "i'm gonna cut you".
Rex-Jester
Right behind the "no smoking" entry was the "no felatio" entry. It was a sucky parade.
BayArea_Scraper
The cigarette was deeply offended by the amount of carbon monoxide the motorcycle was putting in his face and demanded he put it out immediately!!!
cuppidycake
I'm sorry the sandals are just too much, I am leaving and I'm taking my tassels with me
willwork4money
Movie poster of the 2009 remake of "Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man"
Leaf
Paul looked at the poor cigarette guy with his head on fire. "It never grows back" he told him. "Never."
csycunningham
Barret stared down the paraplegic on the way past, failing to notice the giant tampon chasing him down.
petemclaux
over here in Ireland we call Cigarettes "Fags", so this is a gay pride parade of some sorts
petemclaux
hmmmm....., a "fag" coming behind a man in leather, reminds me of bible camp, CATHOLIC BIBLE CAMP!!!
shart_bite
If this is the current trend then we'll all be telling are grandchildren, "Back in my day, cigarettes were small enough to fit in your hand and they weren't alive and that's the way we liked it, dammit!"
MourningStar
truth.com hired the Hell's Angels for security after checking their references. Kieth Richards lit up a smoke and watched with satisfaction.
mariam67
"Okay, next guy who tells me to 'butt out' is getting me ground into his face."
spookee
One is a leather clad tranny. The other is a closeted necrophiliac that takes 8 showers a day in novelty shower curtians...together they FIGHT CRIME!
getittwistd
What you can't see on the other side of the vehicle is the guy in a cigarette costume laying dead and bleeding after the SUV took him out.
getittwistd
Shortly after quitting smoking, Frank's nicotene demons began to haunt him. Strangely, they all wore cheap sandals from walmart.
smallshrimp
Jade Goody smoked and got cancer. Thats what the fat bald man and cigarette tell me
halcyonic
The floor-pounding stones from Mario Kart show their fury with AIG by forming an unholy alliance with Hell's Angels
Lord_of_fail
April 3rd, 3:03 PM. Community health services becomes sentient. Despite the efforts of Harley Davidson, the world is doomed.
smartaleck
Because Smokin' was so evil, he needed to be escorted out of the courtroom, so the angry mob wouldn't take the law into thier own hands.
Least
He can't be that serious about stopping smoking, he didn't even bother wearing real shoes.
Actionopoly
"I told you smoking turns you into a giant asshole. Case in point: Teva sandals."
wamsachel
Ted, looking the biker up and down, realized his higher calling, and is now an advocate for helmet safety...also he hates people who wear leather
meikamo
The Hell's Angels are the leading cause of lung cancer among cigarette mascotts. Above is an angry protest.
bilbo1
Dammit Logan! Just what the hell were you trying to prove with this Danger Room sequence?
twiglet
Yeah this is what I wanted to see cracked, a picture with nothing to work with and a fat bald man in skin tight leather.
Spamman
Which of these men is the most dangerous? The one with second-hand smoke. That's which one.
2noame
"Hey leathered-up bald biker dude, I can help you look cool if you let me ride bitch."
Kinetic
Dude that guy in the back must be a badass. "You mean the one in the hoveround?" Yeah, think about it, he tools around in That, and they still let him ride. You Know he's fucked someone up.
VaultBoy
So now people in Health Services are saying we SHOULD put plastic bags over our heads?
isles147
Unlike the cigarette in the background this one following Joe did not respect the laws of traffic and was promptly run over by a distracted soccer mom
drillerkiller
"Puffy the Cig-Cig disapproves of your assless chaps Robert. Robert? Robert you will look at Puffy the Cig-Cig when he speaks to you."
Stonesfan
Stupid, giant, sentient cigarette can go kiss my ass and...oh God...he's right behind me isn't he?
jspot2k
That's The Ugliest Looking Ice Cream Cone I've Ever Seen......And What About That Cigarette Looking Thing Behind Him????
chromigula
It's about damned time that the Hell's Angels are getting around to beating down those "truth." motherfuckers.
BohemianMonkey
I bet the cigarette in the background is handing out candy-flavoured smokes to those small children, teens, even Grandma's there in her wheelchair!
Derec
The things from his past haunted him -- the cigarettes he could deal with, but the never-ending slew of anonymous glory hole penises bothered him most.
fielder69
forget smoking, wear a helmet or you'll end up like that old dude in the background.
smoochy
I'm laughing because any second now the heat from my tailpipe is going to light this thing butt good.
e_rika2228
Seriously, shrooms at a bike rally is not a good idea. I've seen the stalking cigarette scenario far too many times.
Boxy
The newst version of C.H.I.P.S delivers comedy and action at it's best. Starrring Baggie Smalls and the guy from Juda Priest.
mblair
Bob's dentist had much scarier tactics for making his clients come in annually...
ansainder
The aliens tried to blend in, but they had made a grave misjudgment about the dominant species on earth.
Leaf
Now all Paul needed was a guy dressed as a bottle of Jack Daniels and he'd be set for the weekend!
DICY
Cigarettes kill thousands of people every year. The preferred method? Strangling their victims with piano wire.
RebelRising
Wow, the first time there's actually a gay subject in the picture, and nobody picks up on it. Oh, and *insert cigarette joke*
DamnitDog
After a decent career in Football and Wrestling, Goldberg decided to reach out to the kids by taking a job from R.J. Reynolds.
pjunk
Hey, asshole, you know that thing is dangerous, right? Those things kill people! (You decide who's talking.)
fluf
Warning: Being an annoying taunting giant cigarette might bring you serious health problems.
nervousnerd
After the latest tax hike and recent marketing restrictions, big tobacco had to get creative.
Dantheman4
Tired of the social stigma surrounding him, Mr cigarette hired a Hell's angel to be his bodyguard
nervousnerd
The story turned tragic when one of the protesters was lit on fire. Not only did observers fail to help, but they sucked on his toes for hours.
ansainder
Second hand smoke takes on a whole new meaning when you realize where that cigarette's second hand is.
nervousnerd
In answer to Camel Smooth, Marlboro releases their new surly line with much fanfare.
swankyway
Did you see that biker just shit out a cigarette? A cigarette with an attitude, no less.
Rattatat
Even in his late 80's, crippled by age, Hank just couldn't kick the habit, he always had to chase down that last sweet drag of nicotine
MIkeH.E.S.
The tobacco industries latest mascot, "Surly Smoke", had short-lived successs, due in part to his ill-chosen catchphrase, "That's right, I gave your dad cancer. And?? Now shut up and smoke or I'll rape your kitten first." Also pictured: A biker who
RedBaron
4:54:40 PM EST - Do I really stand any chance? Moments before the great war of Bikers vs Cigaretts.
wargizmo
If there's one constant in the world, it's that bikers will never get along with fags.
christophorous
The kids left delighted, knowing that they'd helped their terminally grandfather fulfill his childhood dream of attending the Macy's Day Total Chotch Parade.
cobrajoe
Before his prostrate exam, Paul said "Get me a cigarette." I don't think this is what he had in mind.
Buddha49er
He loved his cigarettes. And now the cigarette needed him, but he wasn't home. He'd been cheating on the cigarettes with his motorcycle...and things were about to get ugly...
Jenna_Tullwortz
Listen, pal if you don't back the fuck away from the bike right now you're gonna get smoked.
DarkMatter
When your body odor makes a butt get a bad case of puke face, then for chrissakes, hose yourself off
cobrajoe
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ash... and I'm all out of bubblegum"
PeptoOverdose
Mr. clean trys to kick his smoking habit, by taking a quick hit of acid and going for ride. He soon realized it was going to be a bad idea.
Roscoe
Although the Secret Service tried to cover for him, in the later years of his Presidency Obama was up to 20 packs a day.
Blackbetta
"Remember me, Sid? Thirteen years ago, Full Moon Saloon, New Mexico. If you intend on smoking a Marlboro, you better finish the job."
papajon0s1
When the terrorists said they had a "big surprise" for America, they meant it!
hadleydb
Excuse me Mr. Cigarette, but I'm looking for a giant can of chew. Also you should learn to smile.
manager12390
New York's high cigarette tax has led to the forming of a bootleg cigarette market on the street. Luckily we've been able to keep the gangs out: it is mostly controlled by biker groups and giant, self-aware cigarettes with a constant look of confused
DocHoliday
Ass-less chaps AND ass-less jeans? You've taken this too far! Signed, Cigarettes Against Butts.
meggiebux
children, grandmothers and bikers alike all came out to the cigarette meet-n-greet!
Fleckers
As the recession gets worse the cigarette gave up causing cancer and tried selling hair growth formula instead
nikpappagiorgio
The bikers realized the only way to get rid of a horrible noxious gas is with another horrible noxious gas. The cigarettes soon got a taste of their own medicine.
christophorous
And in that awful moment, Glenn knew that the fortune teller's prediction had been correct, and he was about to be raped by a 6-foot cigarette in flip-flops.
christophorous
Rob Reiner Presents: "When White-Collar, Weekend Biker Asshole Met Sandals-Wearing Health Advocacy Dweeb"
KCityMadness
Months of therapy aside, White Power Steve's fear of giant cigarettes in surgeons gloves and tevas only worsened over time.
outoftimeman
Although Jack always stomped out his cigarette butts when he was done, he never thought one of them would try to get even.
Mookchook
Oldham Community Health Services tries to scare kids and bikers alike into smoking. The cigarettes are pissed you aren't smoking them!
Boxy
My last date was so ugly she was known as a two bagger, you put a bag over your head in case the one over hers breaks
JakeCamAction
Am I the only one to notice the giant cigarette in the back blocking the man in the wheelchair?
timemaster
Puff Puff has been made fun of because of only having one arm, now hes enlisting bikers to help him out.
Cicero
He remembered what his mother had always said..."They're more afraid of you than you are of them."
captainjack
For the first time in his life, Paul was jealous of someone else's wheels...and totally sweet back-pack.
captainjack
For the first time in his life, Paul was jealous of someone else's wheels...and super sweet back-pack.
skinnyboy
After everyone quit smoking due to tax hikes, hordes of desperate cigarettes took to assaulting Sunday drivers for their loose change.
xtkbilly
...and this is why you shouldn't through away your cigarettes into puddles of radiation.
Edzera_Man
Bikers are so bad ass, they smoke cigarettes shaped like metal barrels don't ya know.
Edzera_Man
Bikers are so badass smoke cigarettes that are shaped like metal barrels don't ya know
ginganinja
After the city's ban on smoking, the neglected cigarettes decided it was time to fight back.
andersonwilliam
Having a stroke is never fun, having a stroke in the midst of a gay pride parade? Downright filthy.
StoutMastaFlex
Taken moments before the infamous assassination of The Marlboro Man, Joe Camel's hitman quietly stalks his prey...
portomar
God said, "Noah, you shall create a great boat... and on it you will save two of every animal from the great flood." Then Noah asked unto God, "Shalli ivclude thine humanoid, self aware man-sized cigarettes?" And God said, "ah, fuck it, why not, drag
Batman?
Ah yes, the Annual Smoking Makes You Look Cool and Keeps the Monsters from Being Angry Parade. Good times.
darthtanion
What are you looking at? You've never seen a cigarette that's had a stroke before?
neosreaper
If you don't believe cigarettes are bad for you, just look at the crowd the hang out with.
Lochbreak3r
seeing his biker love driving off into the horizon, ciggy turned his attention to the 7 year old girl in the pink jumper
the-observer
Marlboro's new advertising campaign wasn't quite as effective as predicted.
land_squid
Judging from the face on that cigarette, I'd say the NHS is trying to combine it's anti-smoking and stroke awareness campaigns - daring...
Chapu
Dear Big Tobacco, yo might want to consider a less terrifying corporate mascot. Sincerely, the human race
87gn
The chemotherapy only affected Curley's hair, all his leather fringe streamers survived without damage. Larry & Moe got jobs as tobacco company mascots.
Tristi
When North-korea heard the rest of the world had them, they also decided to build fire engines!
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