6 National Anthems That Will Make You Tremble With Fear

#3. Turkey - "İstiklal Marşı/Independence March"

Another anthem, another fight for independence. Noting that Turkish fighters were having a fair amount of success defending themselves against European invaders, it was decided that a motivational song to spur them onto victory and celebrate their inevitable success was in order. Basically, Independence March was the Super Bowl Shuffle of its day.

The lyrics focus mainly on how unbelievably awesome it would be to die for your country. We would prefer to, you know, defend our country while at the same time remaining alive. But that's why we write dick jokes and not national anthems.

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"I'm like the roaring flood; powerful and independent, I'll tear apart mountains, exceed the heavens and still gush out!"

"Render your chest as armor and your body as trench!"

"For only then, shall my fatigued tombstone, if there is one, prostrate a thousand times in ecstasy, and tears of fiery blood shall flow out of my every wound, and my lifeless body shall gush out from the earth like an eternal spirit."

Whatever. Their landscape still looks like a bunch of dick mountains.

Did They Live Up To It?

Damn right they did. In order to gain their independence, they had to convince the Allied Forces of World War I to abandon the Treaty of Sevres. The Allied Forces. That's a lot of power to deal with. But convince them they did...by force.

#2. France - "Le Marseillaise"/"The Song of Marseille"

"La Marseillaise" was written in April of 1792 by Claude-Joseph Rouget de Lisle in the midst of the French Revolution. It was originally called "Chant de guerre de l'armee du Rhin" ("War Song of the Army of the Rhine") but the name was later changed due to the song's popularity with volunteers on the streets of Marseilles. And, presumably, because "Chant de guerre de l'armee du Rhin" is a pretty goddamned long name for a song.

Depending on where you're reading it, the translation of the lyrics varies. But hey, you say a tainted blood irrigates your furrow, we say their impure blood should water our fields. To-mae-to, to-mah-to. Whichever you prefer, somebody's getting fucked up.

Guns and titties? Go France!

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"The bloody flag is raised, the bloody flag is raised."

"Do you hear in the countryside, the roar of these savage soldiers, they come right into our arms, to cut the throats of your sons!"

"May a tainted blood irrigate our furrows!"

Did They Live Up To It?

As fascinating as the thought is, there was a time when France didn't sashay around the globe getting stomped in every armed conflict that came their way. For one shining moment in the 1790s, instead of finding themselves on the business end of a bloody revolution, France was giving the business during the French Revolution. Shit, their revolution even had an official Reign of Terror in which anyone displaying counter-revolutionary tendencies found themselves relieved of their head. One dude even got the guillotine not for counter-revolutionary tendencies, but instead for "an excess of zeal."

He looked like this. Before the beheading.

Zeal! It's easy to see why they were less successful in later armed conflicts. They clearly exerted every ounce of badassedness they had in them during this one. (Just joking France, we know you kick ass.)

#1. Vietnam - "Tien Quan Ca"/"Army March"

Anyone who didn't see trouble coming when we went to war with Vietnam had clearly never taken a gander at their national anthem. If they had, they would have seen that this is a country that does not take war lightly. Most of the other anthems on this list mix in a little bit of talk about peace, national pride or whatever else. The blood and guts talk just finds its way into a verse or two at random. Vietnam's anthem, on the other hand, is all war, all the time.

The lyrics start with the line "armies of Vietnam, forward!" And guess what? They mean it! There's blood on the flag! Guns are rumbling! Bases are being built! There are chains to be broken! di chuyen no goddammit!

Vietnam's national anthem kicks more ass in two short verses than most countries do in a lifetime.

Most Awesomely Violent Lyrics

"Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of the country."

"The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song."

"The path to glory is built by the bodies of our foes."

"For too long have we swallowed our hatred. Be ready for all sacrifices."

Did They Live Up To It?

Um, our memory is a little hazy, but yes, we believe at some point they may have.

When not writing for Cracked, Adam makes his fellow countrymen proud at ScenicAnemia.com

For more valid reasons to never travel to foreign lands, check out 7 Innocent Gestures That Can Get You Killed Overseas. Or learn more about your friendly neighbors' gift with words in The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World.

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