The 6 Most (Certifiably) Insane Tales of Rock Star Behavior
We expect our rock stars to be a little crazy. Sex, drugs and trashed hotel rooms are all part of the rocking package.
But even in the crazy-ass world these artists live in, sometimes there's an incident that makes everybody stop and say, "Dude."
For instance...

In the early 90s, Sinead O'Connor scored a massive hit with her cover of the Prince-penned "Nothing Compares To You." Sorry, that should probably read "Nothing Compares 2 U." We are talking about Prince after all. At any rate, according to O'Connor, His Purpleness was less than thrilled with her decision to cover the song since he was already planning to give it to a female protege of his, perhaps in exchange for a series of unthinkable sex acts.
When he met with Sinead to discuss the situation, things got a bit out of hand. And by "out of hand" we mean "they got in a goddamned fistfight."
It started with Prince berating the shorn-locked singer for, of all things, cursing in interviews. She replied with a diplomatic and sympathetic "go fuck yourself." At that point, O'Connor claims Prince became physically threatening, or at least to the extent Prince can physically threaten anyone.

At that point the two went at it, in what was probably the most effeminate fistfight of all time. Prince used his fists, O'Connor used loogies. "All I could do was spit. I spat on him quite a bit," she said. Classy! Not that beating women is any classier, but seriously, how would you feel if you were robbed of the chance to pass one of your most enduring tunes onto one of your talented proteges? Imagine the possibilities!
Oh, shit!

That Ozzy Osbourne once bit the head off a bat is old news. To the credit of his sanity, he apparently didn't know it was a real bat. Plus, he was in Des Moines, Iowa at the time. When you're spending an evening in a place like Iowa, you find your fun however you can.
A slightly less famous incident happened at CBS Records' Los Angeles office shortly after Ozzy left Black Sabbath to embark on a solo career. Sensing that CBS was not overly interested in her husband or his music, Sharon Osbourne decided it would be a good idea for Ozzy to show up at a meeting with CBS executives with a couple of live doves in pockets. The idea was that he would release them into the air when he walked in. And who wouldn't be impressed by having a couple of albino birds hurled into the air at their place of employment?

But Ozzy, ever the showman, decided that instead of releasing the doves, he would take one out of his pocket and delightfully bite its head off as CBS employees looked on in horror. According to an eyewitness, the reaction was an understandably stunned silence followed by Ozzy being hastily removed from the room, presumably while little spurts of blood shot from the bird's ragged neck stump.
This is the kind of story that, over the years, becomes so shrouded in legend that people start to question whether it is even true, us included. But, admittedly, this picture of Ozzy Osbourne biting off the head of a dove while shocked record execs look on is pretty damning evidence.


It's not unusual these days for an artist to score a huge album and, in later interviews, give all the credit for their success to God. Ok, it's not unusual for rappers and R&B singers at least. But in a 1999 interview with Rolling Stone, Carlos Santana awesomely took things a step further.
Those skeptics among us would be tempted to credit the success of the album largely to the fact that it consisted mostly of Carlos playing guitar on songs that, otherwise, didn't resemble Santana songs in the least. But when asked about the inspiration for his comeback album Supernatural (of course) Carlos credited a mystical spirit named Metatron.

In Carlos' own words:
"I know it sounds New Age... but in my meditation, this entity - which is called Metatron - he said, 'we want to hook you back to the radio airwave frequency. We want you to reach junior high schools, high schools and universities. Once you reach them - because we are going to connect you with the best artists of the day, then we want you to present them a new menu. Let them know that they are themselves, multidimensional spirits with enormous possibilities and opportunities. We want you to present them with a new form of existence that transcends religion, politics or the modus operandi of education today'"
Alrighty then!
He also went on to say, "Metatron is the architect of physical life. Because of him, we can French-kiss, we can hug, we can get a hot dog, wiggle our toe." Well, we do certainly dig hot dogs. And we like a god who may possibly be a Transformer. Then again ... Metatron claimed the album would feature "the best artists of the day." This would be an album that featured both Rob Thomas and Everlast.

We'd have to say we're non-believers, Santana.








Nothing about Pink Floyd?
ReplyToo bad Phil Spector never worked with Ted Nugent. Would have saved a lot of bother.
Replyi got a ad for a mental asylum:(
ReplyI wonder if the Ramones kidnapping will be featured in the film biopic about Specter? You know Pacino is playing Phil Specter.
Replythis guy needs to do his research because the drummer of the ramones said they were never held at gun point and that they were free to leave at any time
ReplyPrince is 5'3" and weighs,what about seven pounds?How can you get punched by a flea?
ReplyAlso,has anyone ever written an article about Prince without the word "protege" included?Just curious.
She held her own by spitting on him. 'Nuff said.
It's not mentioned, but each loogy knocked him down, essentially allowing her to escape
Captain Beefheart once had an (understandably) irate band mate in the Magic Band who was getting sick of CB's weirdness. He was so pissed off, he finally walked into the studio and pointed a crossbow at Beefheart, who simply said (presumably channeling John McClane)"get that f*****g thing out of here and go back to your room." He did.
ReplyHe's measuring it with the fish.
Dude, what about Anton Newcombe? Quite honestly, now that I think about it most rock stars are certifiably insane; these are just really, really famous ones.
ReplyI would rather have been shot in the face.
ReplyPhil Spector is a gun nut who held a band hostage and killed someone?
ReplyI don't know how anyone could think that after seeing that picture. He looks perfectly reasonable to me.
Al Pacino is going to play Phil Spector in an upcoming movie adaptation of Spector's life. I think Dana Carvey would have been the better choice.
ReplyThe author is absolutely right! I wouldn't be one bit surprised if those who practice polygamy are part of a cult; they know that satan laughs so hard that he pees himself just a little every time a man marries more than one wife. Everyone knows that only heathens who live in really s****y places practice polygamy.
Reply Hide All See All 8 RepliesThey have to do like the religious leaders here in the west; they've shown us that god wants men to only marry one person, and if they want to marry another well that's just darn tough. Us men just have to remember our faith and follow the good and holy path of settling with sexing up(or, should I say, righteously sexing up) as many women, other men, or children as we can physically manage to lead into private at any one time.
Should they resist when you attempt to "consecrate" them, just pray hard enough and god will send "divine intervention" in the form of jesus' "blood"; of course the lord is graceful, so for you non church going pagan types, god can still grant you the same blessing...or I should say god acting in the form of the nearest liquor store. Ask for "wine".
I've found it very helpful in spreading the good word...I'll be damned if I haven't had women screaming out god's name by the end of the night.
...what is this i don't even...
I don't know either, but I am afraid and concerned.
I mean, if it were funny, I'd call it a joke...but due to the complete lack of humor, I'm now concerned that Uberpenguin does use alcohol to lower men's/women's/children's inhibitions for uh, consecration-rape?
...did this article have anything to do with polygamy, whatsoever?
he does a lot of cocaine, he is a rock and roll clown
I think it's meant to be funny but it's far too far-fetched and bereft of jokes to be sure...
The scariest part is that in UberPenguin's comment immediately before this one, he is apparently completely sane.
Um... what did....I dont under....wahhh?
What are you all getting so bent out of shape about? This comment has all the trappings of frontpage material.
Who left the jar open and let all the nuts out?
I took when santana stated the part about "because we are going to connect you with the best artists of the day" to mean that some of the kids he was going to reach were going to be the best artists of their day, at least that's how it originally came off to me. Just sayin. I'm confused way more often than I'd like to admit, so that may be a possibility too.
ReplyGreat, aparantly there is no correlation between intelligence and talent. I've learned this time and time again over the years.
ReplyThere's no correlation between sanity and intelligence. There's definitely a correlation between insanity and creativity.
There is a correlation between intelligence and talent. You are merely with a severely limited definition of the word "intelligence".
Unless you're talking about idiot savants...well, sure.
I second the insanity-creativity link.
Why no Dogma reference to the Metatron?
ReplyA sidenote- Gainsbourg's daughter Charlotte? That's Charlotte Gainsbourg, the actress in Jane Eyre, 21 Grams and Antichrist.
ReplyAnd The Science of Sleep. But now I am only picturing *that scene* in the Antichrist and crossing my legs...
Yeah, that makes more sense now.
it should be noted Metatron is actually an angel in the bible, specifically, the highest ranking one and the one who stopped Abraham from sacrificing Isaac
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesAlso, it's fancy medal in Silent hill three! Too bad only Vincent believed in the power of it.
actually he is not ever mentioned in the bible
As dyslexicspeller said, he's not ever mentioned in the actual Bible. Only in the Apocrypha, I believe.
Oh. I'm Jewish and we think it was Optimus Prime. Also, circumcision was originally a sacrifice to Ironside, and Bumblebee stopped one of the >9000 genocide attempts.
it should be noted Megatron is actually a Transformer in a cartoon, specifically, the highest ranking one and the one who stopped Optimus Prime from saving the Earth.
"But the group, on the surface just a run-of-the-mill religious group, is purported by some to be more like a cult. Given their unorthodox policies of polygamy (men are allowed seven wives) and, much more ominously, strict vegetarianism, it's not much of a stretch."
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesGood job with the whole "respecting other peoples' beliefs" thing. Thanks for that.
Vegetarianism is the work of the devil.
TEH DEVIL!
you're on a comedy site....what do you expect...a top5 on why GOD IS AWESOME!....or....7 reasons the black islams are just peachy keen.....to all we sane people religion is funny..when are people going to get used to it
Blake - as an atheist may I say that you are a raging piss-kidney. And as I'm presumably part of "we sane people" maybe you'll believe me when I say that I think you're a miserable c*nt.
Well, it was just a vegetarian joke (those happen a lot) but apparently people get sick due to the dietary restrictions, so it's a bit ominous.
Madder than Tom Cruise's favourite brush Santana may be; however Metatron is the name of an angel well established in Judaism and some Christian and Islamic sources. Book of Isiah anyone? In fact, Wikipedia anyone?
ReplyI would have expected GG Allin to be featured here, but guess not.
ReplySee, this is an article on tales of insane rock star behavior. GG Allins intire life was a tale of insane behavior.