6 Famous Songs That Don't Mean What You Think
Sometimes, the more you know about a song the less you enjoy it. You start out thinking the singer of some ballad totally identifies with your situation, then later find out most musicians are creepy sex maniacs, and boring at the same time.
With that in mind, here's six popular songs that aren't nearly as awesome once you find out what they actually mean.

This annoying as all get out little ditty from Bryan Adams' Reckless album has been a staple of wedding dances for over two decades now. And it's no wonder, people love to reminisce on days gone by when life was simpler and anything seemed possible. But what exactly is Bryan Adams reminiscing about?
It seems straightforward enough. He bought a guitar, played it until his fingers bled, started a band, the band broke up because Bryan Adams blows, he met a chick, she didn't realize he was going to grow up to be Bryan Adams so she made out with him. Those were the best days of his life, and ours, because we hadn't heard that song from the Robin Hood soundtrack yet.
What It's Actually About:
Some people speculate that Adams may be singing about, um, something else. Here's a hint, complete this sentence ... "Wine me, dine me, __ me." Still not getting it? Fine, some people think he may be singing about oral sex. Just what we like to think about when it comes to Bryan Adams.

And as you'll notice in a few of the songs on this list, the dirty, double meaning that sounds like it was thought up by a horny 12-year-old often turns out to be true. In an online interview, Adams said: "One thing people never got was that the song isn't about the year 1969. It's about making love, a la '69!" A la '69? What a dork. Then there's the interview with the Binghampton Press & Sun Bulletin where Adams confirmed "the title comes from the idea of '69 as a metaphor for sex," confirming he has both a child's sense of humor and understanding of metaphors. Anyway, coming from the source itself, that seems pretty convincing.
Jim Vallance, the song's co-writer has said, "Bryan Adams is a great writer, a great singer, and a great friend. He's entitled to his recollections as to what inspired the song 'Summer Of '69.' My recollections just happen to be different than his." So who's telling the truth? As a default, we always choose not to believe the guy who claims Bryan Adams is a great writer. We're pretty sure Adams himself wouldn't even say that. There's also the fact that Adams didn't turn 10 until November of 1969, and we refuse to believe Bryan Adams was a cooler 9-year-old than us.
Unfortunately, pretty much every single sign points to "Summer of '69" being another ill-fated attempt by Bryan Adams to be edgy, like that time he dressed like Kurt Cobain for a year or so back in the '90s.

Kurt Cobain - awesome = Bryan Adams

With the possible exception of "Wild Horses," no Rolling Stones ballad is more beloved than "Angie." The mournful lyrics speak clearly of the sadness of love lost, which is strange coming from a guy who tends to sing songs like "Under My Thumb," where the lyrics suggest a relationship dynamic somewhere between groupie and sex slave.
But a popular rumor suggests that Mick may be singing about something far more disturbing than romantic heartbreak.
What It's Actually About:
Some claim the "Angie" in the song is Angela, the now ex-wife of David Bowie. Lending credence to that claim is that the former Mrs. Bowie herself is one of the ones making that claim. According to her, after returning home from a trip, she walked into her bedroom to find Bowie and Jagger in bed together. While their thin white dukes weren't in action at the time, they did just happen to be nude. And probably high, skinny to the point of borderline anorexia and, even in the post coital glow of dude-loving, far more attractive to most chicks than any of us ever will be.
Yes, the song you've probably dedicated to your ex-girlfriend is about the heartbreak someone else felt upon finding out you boned David Bowie.
While Jagger and Bowie understandably deny the incident ever happened, Bowie's wife has for the most part stood by her story. Adding fuel to the fire, after she divorced Bowie she wrote a book and made a famous appearance on the Joan Rivers Show in which she reiterated her belief that Jagger and Bowie had indeed been having sex shortly before she walked in.

Now, Keith Richards does say he came up with the chord sequence and title a full year before the incident that allegedly inspired the song. It's not known where Richards snorting his father's ashes fits in that timeline, but it is widely speculated that Keith Richards' perception of the time-space continuum is utterly fucked, even if he's not just fudging it to protect Jagger's reputation.
For the rest of us, there's the simple fact that around the time he got caught by a woman named Angela in bed with David Bowie, Mick Jagger wrote a song about the haunting, sad eyes of a girl named Angie. And then there's this picture, taken around that time.

L to R: David Bowie, sexual tension, Mick Jagger








Kurt Cobain-awesome=Still Kurt Cobain, since he wasn't really very awesome at all
ReplyBryan Adams is a dick. You can't write such a literal nostalgia ballad in a transparent attempt to channel Mellencamp, Springsteen or whoever and then claim it's about 69ing just because it has "69" in the title. Either that, or he just doesn't understand the concept of metaphors.
ReplyI'd chalk it up to him trying to avoid yet another awkward conversation with some who has done the maths on how old a guy who was a teenager in 1969 would be now.
The captions are fantastic.
Replybtw, i don't buy that summer of 69 explanation. i think it was adams giving an ex post facto explanation in order to try to be cool.
ReplyErr….Adam Brown didn’t crack this one…. Angie wasn’t written by Mick Jagger. As a matter of fact Keith Richards wrote most of the stones song, including this one. The song was not about David Bowie's first wife Angela or about actress Angie Dickinson; Richards' daughter Dandelion Angela had just been born, and the name was one of Richards' contributions to the lyrics.This song was written almost entirely both lyrically and musically by Keith Richards. The name Angie has no reference whatsoever to any of the people it has been typically attributed to. Keith Richards wrote in his biography that Angie is basically heroin and his attempt while detoxing in Switzerland to once and for all "say good by"." Nice try Adam
ReplyConsidering that (a) the lyrics don't fit the interpretation being given here, (b) the timeline is completely wrong ("Angie" came out in 1973, the Bowies divorced about five years later, and by the way the picture that says it's from "about the same time" is from 1985), and (c) by all accounts Keith Richards wrote most of the song anyway... Cracked does some good stuff in terms of dispelling widely believed bullshit, but in the case of "Angie" they're spreading it instead.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesWhy thank you, professor tightwad! I never imagined once in my life that I might find some inaccurate information on a comedy website full of dick jokes! You are truly enlightening.
Are you afraid that your crushes might be doing each other, dear?
Along with the fact that the picture claimed to have been taken "around that time" was taken AT LEAST ten years later.
There's a rumor that Bowie and Jagger swapped wives so I don't see why it couldn't have been about that instead. And then the lyrics still wouldn't be right since e talks about being broke and other things that wouldn't quite fit the situation.
ReplyI just watched the music video for Start Me Up, and Jagger was wearing this shirt that looked like he bought it from the preteen girls section of JCPenney
Replythat's a great story! I think you should tell it at the next party you go to.
Well in Jagger's defense who wouldn't f**k David Bowie?
ReplyUm, I wouldn't. Bruised thighs do not sound like fun to me, thanks.
"Flag waving hillbillies". Huh. It's funny how cracked writers always portray anyone with a trace of patriotism as a "hillbilly". Proving: A) Bigotry against southerners is inexplicably acceptable when no other form of bigotry is and B) Cracked writers are too scared to pull up their big boy pants and say something their buddies might not like.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesArt. Pure art.
"when no other form of bigotry is"
Umm... fat people, Muslims, homosexuals?
Dude, calm down. Seriously. I'm a Texas girl born and raised, but most of the stereotypes against 'hillbilly' Southerners are true. Most of the ones that I know are patriotic, racist, bible-banging, and retarded.
So stereotypes are acceptable as long as "most" of the members of that group "that you know" fit the description?
Regarding picture at bottom of page one: "That happened, and we let it happen."
ReplyBowie & Jagger? As a yaoi girl, that's hot, but...Jagger? That's what Sarah Jessica Parker is going to look like when she's 50.
ReplyOh, Jagger was actually really hot in the 70s. Why do I always confuse Mick Jagger for Stephen Tyler?
Jagger was always hideous.
One of my all-time favorite misused songs in commercials was the Wrangler jeans commercial filled with the usual old barns, flags, dogs and people playing football. The song they used? Fortunate Son.
ReplyThey showed the scenes over the music with no singing and then showed a US Flag as the lyrics "Some folks were born, made to wave the flag, ooh they're red, white and blue" were sung and then faded out with just music again.
For those who are not familiar with the song, it was CCR singing about how the privileged rich got to skip going to Vietnam and the poor were forced to go in their place.
"Some folks were born, made to wave the flag, ooh they're red white and blue
and when the band plays 'Hail to the Chief' ooh they'll point the cannon at you. Lord.
It ain't me, it ain't me. I ain't no senator's son.
It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one."
"Some folks inherit star-spangled eyes, ooh they'll send you down to war yeah,
and when you ask them 'how much should I give?'
the only answers 'more, more, more'"
kurt cobain-kurt cobain= awesome
ReplyI'm so glad I'm not the only one who doesn't think he's the second coming.
Somebody read the summer of 69 lyrics. If that song is about oral sex then happy birthday is about pooping in shoes
ReplyThis has to be the funniest thing I've ever read... amazingly it wasn't a part of an article.
In the air tonight is VERY misunderstood.
ReplyYou're dumb.
Hungry Like The Wolf is about a subway rapist.
ReplyYeah, no.
"But if it's any consolation, "Mary Jane's Last Dance" is totally about weed."
ReplyHave you, in fact, seen the video for that song? Weed is not the more disturbing of theories that are out there about what that song is about.
I honestly don't think there are many theories, i think that song is rather bluntly about weed and trying to quit.
As some people have commented before, In the Air Tonight is about the breakup of Phil Collin's marriage. He found his wife was sleeping the guy who was redecorating their house. That's why if you watch the song's first TV performance, Phil Collins plays with a paint pot next to him.
ReplyWhat about the Stones "She Comes In Colors"? I heard that it was inspired by an incident where Jagger was performing oral sex on a woman while tripping, and colors were coming out of her hoo hoo. Which reminds me of the Skittle's slogan "Taste the Rainbow" (which can be a funny h**osexual double entendre)
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieshmmm I wonder why the word h**osexual is censored?
They censor any word with a slur contained within it, such as assasination, Japan, and homosexuality
f**k c**t s**t j*p