Star Trek TNG Rap (WARNING - EXPLICIT LYRICS) - Funny Videos | Cracked.com

So freaking good.

10/25/2009 11:14:00 AM

Crake

Not only is this fucking hilarious, it's actually a really good song. xD

08/28/2009 08:24:00 PM

RammsteinFoSho

"A French motherfucker with a tasty baguette." Priceless.

08/04/2009 07:20:00 AM

Colombus

holy shit this made my 12 hour day @ work so much better:):) lol ITS THE MUTHA FUCKIN TEEE EN GEEEEEEE!!! absolutely perfect.

07/18/2009 01:18:00 PM

hangus77

Well, I'll never watch TNG the same again, that's for damn sure. Great work, guys!

07/18/2009 05:01:00 AM

benrichardsrm

You guys are very talented. It won't be long before this single tops the charts!

07/17/2009 12:31:00 PM

Onodera

Scene it several times....will probably watch it several more. F-ing great!

07/17/2009 06:15:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

damn that was...i have to say disturbing.yet extremely funny even though now ill never be able to watch that show without thinking of this song.twenty points to whoever made this,it deserves more but my funny meter only goes up ten.

07/13/2009 10:28:00 PM

kano547

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07/12/2009 06:59:00 PM

cherry668

Is this the most popular Cracked video ever?

07/12/2009 04:40:00 PM

Pedgerow

If anyone didn't find that fucking hysterical then there is no hope for them. Haven't laughed like that in a whole minute! Anyone got the digits for those bitches in the video??

07/12/2009 01:58:00 AM

looney237

Ah, so THAT's the origin of the name Those Aren't Muskets

07/11/2009 08:48:00 PM

cruz99

Cap-tain Pi-card love to get his dick hard! HAHAHAHAH! That's the funniest shit I've seen on Cracked in a long time!! An internet classic!

07/11/2009 08:47:00 PM

Vozpit

Man, that shit was dope!

07/11/2009 07:41:00 PM

american_loser

I've never seen a minute of Next Generation and I thought that was insanely great. I watched it three times and laughed harder each time.

07/11/2009 07:06:00 PM

sleeepy2

Holy shit that was awesome.

07/11/2009 05:03:00 PM

colatf

God-fucking-dammit This video is so awesome, that only boning Kristen Bell while at a Nine Inch Nails concert while they're playing closer could be more awesome.

07/11/2009 03:11:00 PM

nova_NIN

TranquilNight, don't worry, I love the original Star Trek and grew up with Voyager; but my dislike for Next Generation is completely unrelated to the crappiness of this video. I understood the lame jokes, but they compliment the shitty beat that the hiphop genre loves so much. Not to mention the irritating dancers.

07/11/2009 02:54:00 PM

Conspiracynut

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I think I have achieved Nirvana.

07/11/2009 01:37:00 PM

Bender_Is_Great

This actually gave me a boner :)

07/11/2009 12:39:00 PM

BadHobbit

I just had a nerdgasm.

07/11/2009 12:27:00 PM

Doomsauce

Really funny, well-executed, geek-lord awesome. Those aren't muskets!

07/11/2009 12:26:00 PM

greeenhaze

You know Swaim banged those chicks

07/11/2009 12:22:00 PM

WetKant

please tell me there's some place I can download this song. that was awesome!

07/11/2009 12:04:00 PM

ogenbite

So THAT's where you got the name "Those aren't muskets!"

07/11/2009 11:38:00 AM

hamsterjelly

Super Cool Vid!!! one of the best...!! keep it up guys!!

07/11/2009 11:03:00 AM

mario74

Not funny at all. Maybe because I never watched Star Trek..

07/11/2009 10:32:00 AM

TranquilNight

if you ejaculate in a holodeck would it not just land all over the holodeck? as there's no actual female there? have to ask the questions others won't

07/11/2009 10:22:00 AM

JimmyTheFish

God damn that was funny.

07/11/2009 10:11:00 AM

GrimScorpio575

this never gets old.

07/11/2009 09:53:00 AM

anony

Rai999...welcome to Cracked.com? In case you haven't noticed, a lot of the hilarious/cool articles on the site derive their humor from parodying dated topics: GI Joe, Muppet Babies, a shitload of 80/90s movies, etc.

07/11/2009 09:17:00 AM

Postpwned

So that's where you guys got your name. Great video. MAKE MORE, DAMMIT.

07/11/2009 09:09:00 AM

SkyPork

Wow. Just...wow.

07/11/2009 09:03:00 AM

crackcorn

one word... genius

07/11/2009 08:32:00 AM

shifty60

for all you guys complaining Could you do better?

07/11/2009 07:37:00 AM

Skott

Topical humor (and being a crybaby PC freak) is all about timing. Jokes in general are all about structure and delivery. This is not topical humor, that's more for stand-up comedians and talk show hosts. Of course, you could argue that the more time has passed, the more likely a joke has been overdone, and therefore, timing is important. For a video that came out a year or so ago, it was pretty damn funny! Had me laughing almost entirely from beginning to end, and I've never watched a full episode of Star Trek.

07/11/2009 07:31:00 AM

AyteeSics

I thought I was going to be the only one who knew the origins of your name ):

07/11/2009 07:17:00 AM

ofareggie

No lardash_p, but when was the last time you heard a joke about the Beatles, or Citizen Kane or the Renaissance? Hmmm? Assuming you're not locked away in some small, rural liberal arts college having endless debates about the meaning of the symbolism in Season 17 of the Simpsons, I'm going to guess never. Because jokes are all about timing.

07/11/2009 07:10:00 AM

Rai999

You're so right, Rai999. Things that happened longer ago than six weeks are never interesting or important. It's best to forget them. Sorry, the Beatles, Citizen Kane, and the Renaissance; Rai999 says you suck.

07/11/2009 07:07:00 AM

lardash_p

that was just fucking awsome

07/11/2009 07:06:00 AM

pariahnola

Filthy version? That implies a clean version.

07/11/2009 06:26:00 AM

Sabre_Justice

That would have been so much cooler if it wasn't so dated. Fifteen years guys? Did it really take FIFTEEN years to come up with that?

07/11/2009 06:10:00 AM

Rai999

WARNING - For erections lasting longer than 4 hours please consult your ship's medical officer.

07/11/2009 06:00:00 AM

BebopZaibatsu

That was beyond awesome.....

07/11/2009 05:48:00 AM

karasien

How f&cking cool was that? Well done guys

07/11/2009 05:46:00 AM

PrettyTony

Spot on ! Fucking loved it !

07/11/2009 05:40:00 AM

Robforfucksake

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07/11/2009 05:35:00 AM

judylove

This video revealed the secret behind TAM, made Swaim rap, had flying cars, spaceships, two dancers in Star Trek uniform and rap about Star Trek. I think a million fanboys died from incurable erections.

06/29/2009 11:12:00 AM

BikerIsaac

Having never watched Star Trek I'm surprised I'd like this. Like really liked it, good lord guys how do you do it?

06/02/2009 06:31:00 PM

Chickamauga

Awesome! Picard is at least as dope as Kirk. Some dude stabbed him in the heart, and he just laughed in his face.

06/01/2009 09:46:00 AM

korilian

Check out Voltaires album Also banned on vulcan. It is far better than this.

05/08/2009 03:33:00 PM

grahamjoce

/nod /dance

05/03/2009 11:16:00 PM

aquiethuman

I cannot beleive I didn't get the "those aren't muskets" reference until just now. Hot damn. That was epic.

03/30/2009 08:26:00 PM

nhuenneke07

this is most definitely your best video i can't even imagine having the skillz to make that many rhymes of epic creativity and i also finally recognized the "those aren't muskets..." quote that has been bugging me for days

03/18/2009 03:46:00 PM

Seraphiel

That was fucking legendary!

12/19/2008 07:50:00 AM

Darkmage

I freaking loved it. Genius.

12/05/2008 11:18:00 AM

DapperDaveIa

ouch my ears. Even in the future white guys still haven't learned that we can not rap? I'm only 1:44 in...when will it end?

11/20/2008 10:26:00 PM

kenmorrison30

this was hilarious

10/12/2008 09:58:00 AM

comrade_derek

I lolled so hard I blew my load in my star fleet issue pants!

09/06/2008 03:02:00 AM

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07/10/2008 01:03:00 AM

kellysingle0501

I love this so much :) It fills my need for Star Trek related sex! :)

06/28/2008 06:20:00 PM

Anastasia

You guys never let us down, funniest people on the net.

06/20/2008 01:24:00 PM

MoonMilk

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06/12/2008 09:43:00 AM

sweetJulia08

I doubted this video, but it really surprised me. You've done it again T.A.M.

06/11/2008 01:03:00 PM

Konner7

That was great...

06/09/2008 09:00:00 PM

QDonQ

Good shit , you got me laying eggs by the dozen

06/09/2008 03:17:00 PM

egglayer

hilarious, thanks guys.

06/08/2008 09:33:00 PM

zyclonis

hey sexy big beauty. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU STUPID BOT WHORE!

06/08/2008 04:08:00 PM

WLTwitch

Pretty good, but the lyrics are kinda bad for sections of it as is the flow.

06/07/2008 12:12:00 AM

B_L_A_N_K

I'll never watch the show the same way again!

06/06/2008 10:04:00 PM

Cha-Z

Ha ha -- thank you for solving the "Those Aren't Muskets!" sound bite mystery for me, too! It was bugging me.

06/06/2008 04:50:00 PM

greengoddess

Anyone here hear Sexy Data Tango? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU4B8nYKH5E&feature=related He's fully functional and anatomically correct! ;)

06/06/2008 12:31:00 PM

jaybee83

Awesome video, though you look like a pair of twats (intentional i know).

06/06/2008 09:26:00 AM

MichaelFurlong

Go to the Those Aren't Muskets website at thosearentmuskets dot com and they have the music linked there . . .

06/06/2008 07:59:00 AM

MusketsFan

I'm tryna get a mp3 of this shit! Help a brotha out!

06/06/2008 06:41:00 AM

homsar

NIce, Leave it to TNG to come up with something like this. http://www.Ultimate-Anonymity.com

06/06/2008 04:50:00 AM

RedFoxOne

Your best work since Asshol Wizards... I can't stop watching this. And yeah, I always thought "Those Aren't Muskets" sounded like Riker, but I couldn't place it.

06/05/2008 11:13:00 PM

timovation

An old friend of mine used to have a fantasy about Deanna Troi going down on Dr. Crusher. He said he always wanted to see that head of black kinky hair in a faceful of red bush...

06/05/2008 08:10:00 PM

tweaker

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06/05/2008 08:03:00 PM

kellychat

those aren't muskets XD

06/05/2008 06:05:00 PM

Hyuga_masteR

The best thing about this video is that now I know where the "those aren't muskets" line comes from. It's been bothering me for...way too long. Very nice work.

06/05/2008 04:15:00 PM

Dwain

This is the funniest shit I have seen in a long time! If this doesn't spread across the internet I will be never disappointed in the human race!

06/05/2008 04:10:00 PM

Shaku

free the lyrics!!!!

06/05/2008 03:30:00 PM

G@t0r-1x

I'm a TNG fan and I think they should have used this as their theme song. And how can I get a copy of this video?

06/05/2008 03:12:00 PM

Gypsum

That was very possibly one of the greatest fucking things I have ever seen... Thank you Those Aren't Muskets for a huge laugh!

06/05/2008 02:26:00 PM

bigroblee

Jaazus...how long have they been hanging on to this one? Bet you anything this was their first video but held it back so they wouldn't be known as the star trek rap dudes.

06/05/2008 12:59:00 PM