5 Kick-Ass Sci-Fi Apocalypses (That Could Actually Happen)

Almost all science-fiction writers agree, nothing kicks more ass than a good apocalypse. So which of these scenarios will actually happen (or rather, which will happen first)?

Let's find out.

#5.

Asteroid/Comet Impact

As seen in:
Armageddon, Deep Impact.

How it goes down:
A gigantic fucking rock is found heading toward Earth. The whole world has to band together with some kind of shot-in-the-dark, desperate space mission to intercept it and blow it up. Hollywood filmmakers say this would almost certainly involve some kind of band of misfits who have a problem with authority.

Why it kicks ass:
Because we'll know it's coming with quite a bit of warning, and thwarting it involves spaceships and explosions.

Chances of it happening:
100 percent. Eventually.

For instance, there's an asteroid that will pass really freaking close to Earth in 2029, and if it hit it could land around southern California. The rock is about 1,300 feet long and would create a 900- megaton explosion (the force of several hundred nuclear bombs). That would fuck things up on a level unlike anything we've seen (killing everyone in an area the size of New Jersey), but wouldn't do anything on a planet-wide scale. Also, while it's passing within a hair of us in cosmic terms, the chances of it actually hitting us are lottery-small.

But asteroids do hit. The last time a serious one impacted was in 1908, in Siberia. That one was one-seventh the size of the one we were just talking about, and it flattened 800 miles of forest and splattered countless elk. But we know what you're thinking: Screw the elk, what about the gigantic Deep Impact-sized planet killer?

According to experts you'd expect that one to hit every 100 million years or so. The last one was a 6 mile-wide bastard that crashed into us 65 million years ago and killed 70 percent of everything on the planet. It's the reason the dinosaurs don't run the planet any more.

How to survive it (according to movies on the topic):
Interestingly, Hollywood's films on the subject all involve thwarting an asteroid strike, rather than living in the aftermath of one. That makes us think that a guide on surviving an actual planet-killer impact would apparently be useless, unless it could be read by cockroaches. That's probably what the strangely-cheerful Japanese announcer is saying in this simulation.

As for how to actually stop the asteroid, scientists have laughed off the "land on it and plant a nuke" theory as ludicrous Hollywood fantasy, and have proposed building a swarm of asteroid-eating robots instead.

From Space.com

143 Comments

Uzernaem

I just realized, we humans tend to worry about how we're all going to die a lot.

Posted on 6/25/2008 1:41:03 PM

bux-to

http://bux.to/?r=Requin join and earn money

Posted on 5/29/2008 1:43:47 PM

mithlodiel

murphy's law. sorry

Posted on 5/27/2008 7:21:13 AM

robots don't have human instincts and notions like brotherhood, country. besides when humans make a complex plan about something it usually blows up in our faces. also take into account merfy's law

Posted on 5/27/2008 7:20:22 AM

M-tel

The robot problem would be easy, just have magnetic weapons, it'd fuck their circuits up reeeal good

Posted on 5/12/2008 5:37:52 PM

Sunk

If the purpose of the robots is to protect their country how would eliminating humanity be a solution..

Posted on 4/17/2008 11:39:24 AM

BigEasterCake

The robot problem is easy. Just make sure everyone lives nearby factories which have random pits of incredibly hot robot-killing lava placed inside.

Posted on 4/7/2008 4:47:29 AM

Justintoxicated

great article. Whenever I think of world ending catastrophes nowadays all I can think of is the movie Idiocrisy where stupid people breed intelligence out of existence. The world doesn't end with a bang but a loud farting noise.

Posted on 3/31/2008 7:14:56 PM

Babar the Elephant King

Draykir you silly little man, have you even followed the success rate of missile defense? it doesn't work. They needed to cheat the system in order to get positive results (and they explain this part in any article on the topic) they tagged the missiles with locators and in some tests they didn't even bother using missiles, just hot air balloons. And the gap between a "fix" and a catastrophic problem, as the dead people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki will tell you, is a little too long for it to matter, since in the meanwhile millions can still die that way. Also- in the medical context- each layer of complexity we add not only makes the next solution harder and more time consuming to find- it makes it far more expensive and further out of the reach of the financial means of many who would need it. I mean, we all understand you have a hard-on for technology. Hooray for you. But that doesn't make your half-assed defense of it any more coherent or plausible.

Posted on 1/29/2008 6:08:10 AM

Dave

Lord Drayakir - Dude, seriously... It's not supposed to be serious, it's supposed to be freaking FUNNY!!! And it was, btw... I laughed a lot, as I always do...

Posted on 1/28/2008 9:12:46 PM

Lord Drayakir

This last one is fucking stupid. America has the Frankenstein complex, a term created by Asimov to explain humanity's fear of robots, but in general, it extends to all scientific progress. Nanobots, or evolution, or unrestrained scientific research is a good thing, you asswipes. Just because it has the potential to create something horrible, chances are, it will also be able to undo it. DUH. Just like we have nuclear bombs now, well, now we have anti-missile defense. Honestly, grow the fuck up. People that are afraid of this are probably afraid of fire, and think we should go live in caves.

Posted on 1/27/2008 10:07:54 PM

Don

On reflection, that sounded like spam. No really, the scary bug thread drew me here, then I invested most of an hour in enjoying the rest. I actually had other things to do, but it was worth postponing them.

Posted on 1/26/2008 11:31:35 AM

Just stumbled on this site. Thanks for taking the time to add to gaity of nations. Wonderful stuff.

Posted on 1/26/2008 11:22:35 AM

Whiteraven

In the list of pandemics, the author forgot the 1918 Influenza Pandemic, which killed lots of healthy 20- and 30-year-olds rather than the usual children and old people.

Posted on 1/25/2008 3:30:40 PM

THE Guy

Sorry, Obby. You're wrong. We do that with satellites and space-shuttles all the time by "sling shotting" them around planets and/or moons. In fact, that was one of the major problems encountered by the Apollo 13 craft was the possibility of coming in too shallow and skipping off into space. It's like skipping a stone on water. Size doesn't matter. It's based more on speed and friction and very little on gravity at that point.

Posted on 1/24/2008 1:01:24 PM

Dibbs

Astro, you're a dumbass. Look up the physics of planetary-scale gravity. Anyway, everyone knows *rolls eyes* that asteroids are styrofoam.

Posted on 1/22/2008 8:37:51 PM

Astro

@ Obby When the asteroid nicks our atmosphere it already was pulled towards earth. But not close enough for an impact. The path of the asteroid will be altered. Get some knowlege of astronomy before commenting.

Posted on 1/22/2008 1:35:41 PM

Obby

I really wish people would check their facts before they posted. If an asteroid came close enough to "nick our atmosphere" it would have hit us. The gravitational force of the Earth would pull the asteroid in closer.

Posted on 1/22/2008 9:37:00 AM

nosirve41

They are amazing! I like them :P look at this one: http://www.spymac.com/details/?2331213

Posted on 1/21/2008 2:15:46 PM

Natasha

mcDuder, yes and no. Every country has people looking out for things like asteroids.The problem is there isn't that much time to do anything. Recently an asteroid came really close to Earth (it nicked the atmosphere or something) but there was only a warning of a few days.

Posted on 1/21/2008 10:04:27 AM

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5 Kick-Ass Sci-Fi Apocalypses (That Could Actually Happen)

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