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The 5 Most Kick-Ass Apocalyptic Prophecies
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There are a lot of apocalyptic scenarios looming out there, in various religious sects in the nooks and crannies of history. Though the scenarios are wildly different in method, you can rest assured that most will leave us all equally dead. While we can't know which one is actually going to happen, here are the ones we're rooting for, along with the heavy metal album cover each most resembles. #5.
Judgment Day
Source: Christian New Testament
What to watch for:
What comes next:
Satan walks the Earth. Then, after a period of time somewhere between seven to 1,000 years, Jesus returns with tears of love in his eyes, and gives everyone a pass to Heaven. Ha, no, we were kidding. The Good Shepherd divides the survivors into "sheep" and "goats." Guess which group spends an eternity in everlasting fire.
Can you survive it?
Luckily, according to the Bible, all this can only come when no one is expecting it. So we're safe for now, thanks to this article.
A heavy metal album cover for reference:
Rating:
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61 Comments
I'm down for all of these. Maybe we could get an Apocalyptic Sampler and see what's what?
Plus side: Re-population
sokillugslumb
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me
ok so like the "a race of bony, female spider monsters from the stars." has me freeked out :)) Hope it was just a joke. But who knows maby next we'l find predator and xenomorph cave paintings or maby sculpted on sum ancient temples ;)
Sven
We can NEVER go back to Arizona! BOOSH!!!
Oveftchuche
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PhonePohymn
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JI
soooomething in my mind says like... Zoroastrians are After-Jesus guys. Which makes quite difficult them to be the first appocalypsemadpeople
Lizzie
Arizona sucks ass. Why has it taken fourteen years of living there to figure it out?
StoonfokSen
hi! some infoo... http://gegetyththghtryty.com
Moxie
Hey man, Arizona is the shit.
Genliaigeve
hi! some infoo... http://gegetythghtryty.com
Genliaigeve
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Phil
brilliant dude. "i liked it.All that' left is the great wars between the White Man and his enemy in the deserts- Goddammit." hehe brilliant. we are going to die soon then i think. :p
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Shroomy
Ragnarok wins for being such a damn cool word.