9"I'm ugly ... and my jaw hurts."
Sporting a white tank top and trucker hat to obscure, and yet ironically highlight, her identity, world-famous hillbilly Britney Spears waxes poetic to then-lover Federline about her hopes, regrets and the movie Spawn.
When she complains that her touring schedule has caused her to miss out on "things, and ... things" it's hard not to picture a reality TV producer off camera madly scribbling on oversized cue cards.
Warning: Britney's bizarre, jerky body movements starting at about 2 minutes might make you instinctively fling your hands up to protect your face.
What Makes It Poignant:
This clip is moving and disconcerting. The moving part comes when you view it as a portrait of someone who has about six layers of smoked glass between her and reality. She understands vaguely that her sheltered, shallow existence is causing her to miss out on normal life, but she can only articulate this condition via monosyllabic outbursts, haunting questions about the possibility of time travel and the occasional lonely, wailing belch.
As for the disconcerting part, how fucking weird is it to see a clip where Kevin Federline strikes you as the informed, level-headed one in the room? Well, maybe until the last 4 seconds, anyway.
8"Only in America ..."
A pre-Presidential George W. Bush gets his drink on and chats with the least-investigative journalist, ever.
You slowly realize that while inebriated, the man can only think of four adjectives and one phrase to describe both his dear friends and outlook on life. The manic repetition of the phrases "slim, hates to smoke, marathon runner" and "only in America" leaves you with the frightening impression that he either doesn't know these people and crashed the wedding just for the open bar, or literally just streams words from his brain directly to his mouth when drunk.
What Makes It Poignant:
Watching that goofball up there, there is no way in hell he had even the slightest desire to be president. We bet if you could travel back in time and tell 1992 George W. Bush that someday the lives of thousands would hang on his decisions, he'd have been just as terrified as we are now.
Admit it: If this guy was your local bartender, or neighbor, or UPS delivery man--any position where he couldn't do any real damage--it'd be easy to like him. Look at him toss back the drink the second he steps away from the interviewer. That guy would have been happy in some sales job, one where he's always on the road and flirting with the ladies at every stop. But, no, his name was George Bush and as a result, he was destined to become the closest thing to King of the world.
Only in America.