As you may have heard, Marvel is about to put out a movie where one of the main characters is a talking, machine gun-toting space raccoon. That's how much money their interlocking mega-franchises have made: They can do whatever the fuck they want now. But why stop at space raccoons? Imagine Tarantino doing a Nick Fury movie. Wes Anderson on Spider-Man, once they get the rights back. Martin Scorsese's Howard the Duck reboot (starring Leo DiCaprio). Everything is possible.
Well, not really. We're sorry to inform you that Marvel Studios will never do anything particularly innovative or artistic. Now, there's nothing wrong with doing big dumb action movies, but don't get your hopes up for anything more than that, because ...
4 The Plots Are Already Getting Repetitive
Here are some spoilers for pretty much every Marvel movie ever ... including the ones that haven't come out yet, because things are getting pretty predictable.
Remember how, in The Avengers, New York was invaded by aliens, and the superheroes joined together to defeat them, and it was unlike anything you'd ever seen in a movie? For comic book fans, that's Wednesday. By our estimation, the Marvel Comics Earth gets invaded by aliens about 367 times a year, and the movies are following suit. Only a year after The Avengers, we had another alien-invasion story in Thor 2.
"Oh, is it Tuesday already?"