And just to guarantee that this idea will be appetizing to no venture capitalists whatsoever, the Harvard professor behind these edible spheres suggests that WikiPearl enthusiasts will someday be able to enjoy an "orange soda with a french fry skin." Dude, the only way you'd be worse off is by suggesting "five-alarm chili in marzipan cubicle" or "super-drippy hummus in a banana taffy force field."
3D-Printed Crap for Old Folks
Remember in Back to the Future Part II where Marty's mother puts a tiny pill into a microwave-like appliance and then pulls out a finished chicken? Turns out we'll have that soon! Only it'll suck!
"Enjoy" should probably be in quotes.
Indeed, these machines will be less Star Trek-style matter materializer and more run-of-the-mill 3D printer. At this point, it's probably worth mentioning that its ingredient cartridges will be filled with animal by-products, algae, and ground-up insects -- basically, everything it prints will be barely perishable pureed versions of real food, catered to your dietary needs.
Apparently, "hamster" is the next step in man's evolution.
3D-printing enthusiasts are currently experimenting with these devices to potentially feed astronauts on deep-space missions and future old people (i.e., you!), so know that escaping the planet won't help you avoid golden years with a mouth full of grasshopper paste.
J.F. Sargent is a workshop moderator for Cracked. He can be found on Twitter and Tumblr.