I am Cracked.com senior editor and columnist JF Sargent. Sometimes they call me "Josh" because that's what the J stands for. Other times they call me "Sarge" because "Sargent" is a badass name that I received due to a technicality. I am the only Cracked writer you can trust.
I just rewatched a bunch of Disney movies, and they're really trying to put sexy thoughts in our head at times when no one should have those thoughts there.
A car is like a romantic partner: If you go too long without one, people think you're weird, but once you get one, it sucks up all your cash and will possibly murder you on a dirt road on a moonless August night.
When the Constitution mentions 'citizens,' it is exclusive to citizens of the United States, but when it starts using the word 'person,' it's referring to everybody.
Dave Rubin runs through a list of the outrageous things he claims 'progressives' want, but nothing he mentions bears any resemblance to anything I or anybody I have ever met is actually fighting for.
To challenge DMB's perfection was like arguing that the sky wasn't blue or that sailing wasn't the best thing ever or that Toyota pick-up trucks weren't reliable.
