I am Cracked.com senior editor and columnist JF Sargent. Sometimes they call me "Josh" because that's what the J stands for. Other times they call me "Sarge" because "Sargent" is a badass name that I received due to a technicality. I am the only Cracked writer you can trust.
There is a thriving culture of fan theories that flood the Internet in anticipation of every show, movie or book. Those theories are wrong approximately 100 percent of the time, but sometimes the fan theory is far more coherent and satisfying than what the writers actually came up with.