Anyone who has gone within a 10-foot radius of a computer, a television, or another human being no doubt considers themselves "up to speed" on the situation currently exploding in Ferguson, Missouri, after police shot an unarmed black teenager named Michael Brown. And unsurprisingly, the media is so thick with bullshit that we've decided to cut it all down in one swinging arc to help you get your bearings. Here are all the latest and fakest news stories coming out of Ferguson.
4 There Is Zero Doubt That Michael Brown Stole Cigars (Not That It Matters)
For every tragic event, there sprouts a litany of conspiracy theories by a substantial number of crazy people who were never meant to have access to the Internet. For example, people are already asserting that Michael Brown never stole those cigars to begin with -- their evidence being fuzzy security video on YouTube.
"Or lease, with option to smoke?"
Is it all some big lie by the cops? That would sure be impressive considering that Brown's friend has flat out confirmed to the FBI that they stole cigars before the incident. Meanwhile, this headline keeps making the rounds:
"Regular assassination, too."