23 Safety Measures You're Counting On (That Don't Work)

They say there's a silver lining to every dark cloud. However, some of those clouds are so damn big that the silver lining kind of doesn't mean jack shit.

The following safety measures are those silver linings that are doing anywhere between "jack shit" and "a little more than jack shit" to help.

(As always, thanks to AuntieMeme for the voodoo she works putting these together.)

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Entry by AM Smiley

Women are constantly reminded to do breast self-examinations. The thing is, they're not doing women any good. Scientists have found no increase in bre

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Entry by AM Smiley

A fire hose seems like the most basic tool for fighting fires But it's also incredibly dangerous. The hoses used by firefighters are pumping up to 250

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Entry by AM Smiley

Want to keep your street safe? Add some speed bumps. And then hope you don't have a medical emergency. Not only do those irritating, jarring humps use

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Entry by AM Smiley

Tobacco companies added filters to make cigarettes healthier. But filters actually make cigarettes way more cancerous. The original filters from the '

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Entry by AM Smiley

You should absolutely always wear a bicycle helmet, when riding. But you need to be twice as careful around cars, That helmet is going to protect your

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Entry by AM Smiley

Think traffic lights are making the road safe? We actually get in fewer accidents without them. A 2000 study of a town that replaced traffic lights wi

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Entry by AM Smiley

Security questions make it hard for hackers to get your password, right? Beturn to Seryice Cento Security Questions and type your answers below. We wi

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Entry by AM Smiley

Zero-tolerance policies are meant to keep schools safer for kids. Zero' also describes how effective they are The idea is to clamp down on any rule

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Entry by AM Smiley

TSA scanners are inconvenient, but they make travel safer, right? Perhaps not. They don't detect liquid explosives. A full-body scan would not have st

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Entry by AM Smiley

Think three-strikes laws keep criminals off the streets? They actually overcrowd the prisons with petty criminals. Three-strikes laws punish petty cri

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Entry by AM Smiley

Going to the beach? Be sure to slather on lots of sunscreen. And wear a hat, because sunblock isn't going to protect you from cancer. A study released

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Entry by AM Smiley

If there's an office fire, those ceiling sprinklers will put it out. TT01 Unless they're the kind filled with flammable chemicals. In order to keep pi

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Entry by AM Smiley

If it weren't for speed limits, we'd all drive like speed demons. SPEED LIMIT 55 As it turns out, not SO much. In 1995 the state of Montana removed al

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Entry by AM Smiley

You don't want your baby to bang her head, SO you use a crib bumper But they're more dangerous than a bump on the head. According to Consumer Reports,

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Entry by AM Smiley

People who are sex offenders have their names added to a registry. DANOESTY Registered Offende Sex Here Lives Which is ineffective and counterproducti

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Entry by AM Smiley

The no-fly list makes people feel safer about traveling by airplane. But it really shouldn't. For one thing, people on the list might be prevented fro

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Entry by AM Smiley

People who want to feel safe like to live in gated communities. But they're actually more fearful when they do. Not only do gated communities have the

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Entry by AM Smiley

Preventing small fires before they turn big is safety common sense. Ironically, it's causing bigger, much worse fires. It turns out small, localized f

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Entry by AM Smiley

Want to keep your baby safe in the tub? Put him or her in a bath seat. Then hope it doesn't tip over and drown your kid. The problem is, the seats lul

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Entry by AM Smiley

Wondering what happened to the luxury of automatic seatbelts? ThEY started lopping people's heads off. Automatic seatbelts were a feature in cars in t

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Entry by AM Smiley

You probably think your anti-lock brakes are keeping you safe. But a study showed they actually increase the number of crashes. A 10-year study showed

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Entry by AM Smiley

When you're in a car crash, your airbag will protect you. Just cross your fingers it doesn't deploy while you're driving. Airbags activate when a tiny

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Entry by AM Smiley

Carbon credits are the UN'S solution to greenhouse gases. And they're incentivizing companies to pollute even more. Carbon credits are like stock awar