Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 Things You Don't Know About Strippers (Until You Are One)

Despite the venerable legacy of this career, and the utter ubiquity of strip clubs in our modern cityscapes, most people know very little about the realities of dancing naked.


5 Gadgets That Make Simple Foods Way Harder to Prepare

Even the simplest of foods can become needlessly complicated.


5 Horrific Things You See Collecting Dead People as a Job

The average body transporter quits pretty quickly. Here's why.


22 Dickish Ways We'd Actually Use Superpowers

Superpowers would arguably create more problems than they solve.


37 Everyday Things That Look Insane in Slow Motion

Watching shit in slow motion is awesome, great for productivity, and probably makes you a genius.


5 Things I Learned as a Mormon Polygamist Wife

The world is full of women who are either in this situation right now or just recently got out. We sat down with a woman who escaped life as a 'plural wife' in a fundamentalist Mormon sect.


9 Stupid Words We Should Retire in 2015

A new year is upon us, and that means we need to arbitrarily decide some things will be different, solely based on the fact that Earth has completed another cycle around the sun.


5 Things Every Snob Says (Confirmed by Science)

This is proof that either we need to completely reshape the way we react to people or that all of science is just trolling us for the lolz.


5 Awful Lessons I Learned Living With a Mystery Illness

Thomas Wolfe suffered from an extremely rare disease that took four damn years to correctly diagnose. As we learned, not every possible disease a person can catch has been discovered.


6 Reasons You're Picturing the Post-Apocalypse Wrong

In October, Cracked sent four of its most expendable out to spend a weekend at Slab City -- a place that exists without water, electricity, or laws.


6 Nobodies Who Turned Into Action Heroes Without Warning

Real action hero shit happens every day ... and doesn't even require action heroes to make it happen.


8 Ways the Legal System Screws Rape Victims (Like Me)

After I pressed charges and took my experience to court, it became painfully obvious why the vast majority of women don't.


4 Things I Learned When I Tried to Sell a House on My Own

If you want to learn a thing or two about selling a house via our mistakes, massive screw-ups, terrible decisions, and just plain stupidity, read on.


4 Awesome Winter Customs America Needs to Steal

We'd all appreciate the season more if colder weather meant we could look forward to this insane stuff.


5 Reasons Being an Ice Cream Man is Shockingly Hard Core

We wanted the inside 'scoop' (Editor's Note: The person who wrote that joke has been fired ... out of a cannon) on what life is like as the person inside that brightly colored van full of childhood obesity.