15 Norm MacDonald Jokes For The Hall Of Fame
Norm Macdonald's passing left a massive hole in the comedy world, simply because no one could tell a joke in the same way Norm could. Thankfully, our prayers have been answered and a NEW Norm Macdonald special is being released on Netflix May 30th, meaning we'll be able to have our hunger satiated one last time. Here are 15 jokes from the king of comedy to prepare you for Norm's new hour, Nothing Special.
Norm Once Saw His Parents Have Sex
“I once walked in on my parents having sex. It was the most embarrassing thirty minutes of my life.”
At least Norm knew that his dad could perform.
Norm’s Homosexual Theory
“They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.”
The Moth Joke
Norm had a history of telling long convoluted jokes where the punchline is underwhelming on purpose, but the most famous has to be his telling of “The Moth Joke” on Conan. Norm and Conan always work great as a duo and few clips showcase it better than this.
Norm’s Thoughts On Hitler
“You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.”
Norm making sure his legacy is on the RIGHT side of history.
Bob Saget’s Roast
When a producer told Norm he could go as dirty as he wanted for Bob Saget's roast, he instead stole all of his jokes from a 1949 joke book his dad gave him when he started doing comedy. Norm’s friends in the audience know what’s going on, but the crowd thinks he’s lost his mind. It’s a Macdonald must-watch.
“I went to a hypnotist. He put me under a spell, and every time I had a craving for a cigarette, I would throw up. It's very embarrassing right after sex. I find it pretty hard to get that second date after that. Girls get all snobby after you barf on them.”
Norm’s Thoughts On Alcoholism
“He has the disease of alcoholism. And he came to me and he told me, and I'm the kind of guy that likes to look at the bright side of things. So I told him, I said, "Richie, it's true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got the best one."
“I don’t do much. I’m too lazy. That’s my problem. Hang around my couch, watching the TV. Just too lazy. I realized this the other day, If I get hit by a truck tomorrow - a big truck could hit me - paralyze me from the neck down. Wouldn’t affect my lifestyle a bit really.”
Chairmen of the Bored
In an interview on Conan with 90210 star Courtney Thorne-Smith, Norm relentlessly adds jokes to spice up the lacking interview. What ensues is some of the best offhand comedy to ever occur on late night.
Related: When Superman Is Bored
Norm’s LSD Experience
“The hardest drug I ever did: LSD. I was told to be careful because in 20 years I can have a flashback. I thought that sounded like a good deal … But 20 years have passed with no flashback. What a ripoff that turned out to be.”
Norm Macdonald is Deeply Closeted
In an interview with Larry King, Norm revealed that he is deeply closeted but not gay. King has no idea what to do with the information, but Norm and the viewers sure got a kick out of it.
The ID Joke
“ID is a strange abbreviation. I is short for I, and D is short for dentification.”
Norm’s O.J. Jokes
Norm was famously fired from SNL for telling too many O.J. jokes on air, and here’s one of the best.
“O.J. Simpson was in a different kind of courtroom this week attempting to regain custody of his two children. In order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids, OJ pointed out quote ‘Hey, they’re still alive, aren’t they?’”
Norm’s Thoughts On Dogs
“Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s almost never for them.”
Norm obviously never watched Dog With A Blog on Disney Channel.
Norm’s Wife is a Battle Axe
With a quick reappearance of Norm’s deeply closeted bit, he continues on to tell Conan his wife is a Battleaxe. Norm reverts to the 50’s style of joke-telling, insisting that his wife is a dirty dog!
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Top Image: Netflix