Upon realizing that they were trapped in the beginning of a Bride Of Chucky / X-Files crossover, residents began to call the police. After some top-notch detective work, the police announced that their search had led them to the culprit: a sweet innocent old woman who went to church with many of the recipients. Wes Craven himself could not have scripted a creepier setup.
Fortunately, the dolls were not an omen of death so much as they were an omen of Old Lady Trying to Interact With Her Neighbors. The police found that the dolls were being dropped off "out of goodwill and that [the woman] intended it as a kind gesture," and it seems she hadn't seen enough horror films to realize the terrifying nature of magically-appearing porcelain dolls. Hopefully, she sticks to baked goods the next time she wants to do something nice for the neighborhood.
The Mysterious Drifter Is ... Bob Dylan!
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Despite what we tend to see in the news, many police officers have developed an astonishingly high tolerance for crazy. Kristie Buble is an officer who serves the Long Branch, New Jersey area. She had no idea that giving in to her boredom one evening in her quiet beach town would toss her straight into the plot of Bubba Ho-Tep. Buble was responding to a complaint of a senile old man running around some lady's yard, which is about par for the course in suburban New Jersey.
"Oh, Thursday's already here?"
The man was wandering about in the pouring rain, wearing two raincoats, when he stopped in front of a house for sale and looked at it for a good while, possibly communicating mentally with the friendly spirits inside.
She asked him the typical who/what/why questions, only for him to begin insisting that he was Bob Dylan, and that he was taking a break from hanging out with Willie Nelson and John Cougar Mellencamp as part of some kind of "Reminding People We're Still Alive (Barely)" tour.
Top billing goes to the guy most likely to still be breathing at the end of the show.