Cracked Archive - News
5 Scary Questions About The Future (No One Wants To Ask)
Fixing the world means confronting these head-on ...
- Authors
- By Jason Pargin
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181
181 Stressed-Out Folks Are Hugging Cows (And Moo Can Blame Them)
The latest animal therapy trend just might be the right moooooove.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 11
Woman Returns Stolen Items From Pompeii After 15 Years of Bad Luck
Did we not learn anything from 'Indiana Jones'?
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- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 11
Just In Time For Halloween, Someone's Selling Half A Christmas Tree
Just like the classic October jingle, 'Half a holly, jolly Christmas ...'
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- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 16
5 Chilling Murderers Who Met Their Ends In Ridiculous Twists
If you sign up to be a serial killer, chances are your own death will be very stupid.
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- By Ryan Menezes
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- 49
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Newman is Back -- Seinfeld's Annoying TV Neighbor Stars In Voting PSA
Hello again, Newman ...
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 12
Priest Gets Caught Having a Threesome On The Altar Of His Church, Getting More Than Most of Us These Days
Do you think they called him 'father' or 'daddy?'
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 34
Stripper Voting Campaign 'Get Your Booty To The Poll' Aims to Encourage Voting
As Stephen Colbert put it, 'that, my friends, is democracy at twerk.'
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 28
Japan's Super Mario Theme Park Looks Adorable (But Needs More Waluigi)
Time to go drown our sorrows in a Luigi soda, folks.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- Comments
- 12
Reporters Keep Quoting Fake Van Halen Interview (Whoops)
Journalists, they're just like your grandma on Facebook!
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 6
Friendly Reminder That Kellyanne Conway's Daughter Is Still A Kid
To steal a quote from that one guy from 2007, leave Claudia alone.
- Authors
- By Carly Tennes
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- 39
'Sweater Guy' Ken Bone Is Not Someone To Listen To In 2020
Ken Bone is back, and as undecided as ever.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 40
Prisoners Forced To Listen To 'Baby Shark' For Hours as Punishment
It's an inhuman punishment, doot doot doo doot doot doo.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 20
Gay Twitter Is Taking Over the Proud Boys Hashtag
Finally, a news story that is actually all sunshine and rainbows.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 46
Concerts in 2020 Are About To Be So Weird
Roblox isn't just for Lil Pump videos anymore.
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- By Carly Tennes
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- 6
