Vultures have it rough. First of all, nature has decided that their main food is going to be corpses. I’ve never eaten a corpse, but I can’t imagine them being anything near tasty. Besides their unfortunate diet, they also have to deal with having a gross little bald head. That can’t be good for the self-esteem. Unfortunately, for a group of black vultures in Westchase, Florida, their misfortune is about to come to a permanent end.

As mentioned earlier, vultures are not the most cuddly of birds. That, combined with their reputation as quite an unfortunate omen, leads to them being fairly unwelcome in most neighborhoods. However, Westchase’s vulture population seems to be a little heartier and harder to shake, and residents are running out of ideas. I don’t know if Westchase has a phenomenal corpse supply or a very welcoming graveyard or what, but the vultures have decided that it’s their forever home.

 

Group of black vultures
Ok, not exactly a charming vibe.

 

The population of Westchase has come up with a plan–some would say a “final solution”-- to the vulture problem. As many plans borne of frustration and rage do, it involves a gun. The plan, which feels like a generous thing to call it, is this: set off some fireworks and then shoot the ones that don’t leave.

Fireworks and shooting birds sounds a little more like a July 4th celebration than any sort of animal control strategy, but I suppose we are in Florida. I’m not sure how many other paths have been explored in the dispersion of the birds, but I feel like I have a fairly solid hunch that there’s been at least one guy in the meeting going “JUST SHOOT THEM!” since day one.

The city is going to throw fireworks into their roosting site, aka home, and then any vultures that don’t flee in terror will be shot. Which feels very American. But now there’s pushback from the community, I assume once people figured out that they would be listening to bird murder ring out across the air for a significant amount of time. I don’t hold much optimism that it will be enough to stop them so, if you’re reading this, birds: fight back. There are enough of you. You have sharp beaks. You can win this.

Top Image: Pixabay

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