4
You Should Speak at Least Some of the Language
I'm just going to assume that if you're seeing this you can speak English.
Creatas/Getty Images
Or are an archaeologist from the future, in which case, we're super sorry about all the weird sex stuff we've left everywhere.
Almost every travel guide I've read recommends that you learn at least some of the local language. It's considered polite, and will of course help you out if you ever need to communicate simple ideas like:
"I would enjoying your beer."
or
"I would enjoying your toilet."
or
"I have liked making some disaster in your toilet. Please make me a doctor."
Why It's Bullshit:
First, there's no need to be polite because everyone you're dealing with hates you already (see below). And honestly, I've traveled a ton; my language skills consist of some barely remembered high school French and "cerveza," and I have never had any issue traveling in any country in the world. Because of things like the Internet and good old imperialism, basically everyone in the world knows at least some of our baffling, mongrel tongue. And failing that, they'll usually be able to figure out what you want with hand gestures or simply shouting "cerveza" at them in increasing volume.
Digital Vision/Getty Images
"Excuse moi, sir. Uh. How much for this ... cerveza?"
1475 Comments