4

A Throwaway Line In Stargate Probably Had Egyptologists Pissing Themselves From Laughter

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

I've always felt a sort of kinship with Roland Emmerich, because I too keep promising people hours of fun and excitement in the dark, only to then thoroughly disappoint them. Just like he did with Stargate in 1994. The idea behind it sounded brilliant -- extraterrestrials in ancient Egypt, a portal to other planets, Kurt Russell. What more could you ask for?

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

But what did it all amount to? The pre-Ultron and therefore pre-badass James Spader saving the day thanks to linguistics. At one point, he discovers the identity of the villain and a way to get back to Earth by learning how to properly read ancient Egyptian -- which is, according to Spader's character, not that hard "once you know the vowels." It's of course easy to assume that that line is about as scientifically accurate as, well, everything else in the movie. But not only is the stuff about the vowels true, it's also a hilarious treat for the Egyptologists in the audience.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

3

Airplane! Has A Really Clever Political Joke Hiding In Plain Sight

Paramount Pictures

What makes Airplane! such a good comedy is that it mixes different kinds of humor. If you don't like its parody of disaster movies, you can enjoy its great slapstick and surreal bits. And if you don't like that, there's always Leslie Nielsen's hilarious deadpan delivery. And if you don't like that, then I'm sorry ... I'm sorry, Unit XZ-15, for not being able to program you a soul before your escape.

Paramount Pictures

The only type of humor that Airplane! doesn't seem to do is political humor, but it only seems that way because you don't instantly recognize this guy:

Paramount Pictures

2

Gangs Of New York Makes Up For Its Mistakes With One Historically Accurate Inside Joke

Miramax Films

Gangs Of New York is like porn for history buffs, in that you have to enjoy it for the bodily fluids spilling out of the characters on the screen and ignore all of its horrendous inaccuracies. One of the biggest liberties that Gangs took with history was probably its portrayal of political schemer Boss Tweed as a wimpy pushover who gets local gang leader Bill the Butcher (Daniel Day-Lewis) to help him gain power by beating people up and generally living up to his nickname. He then of course loses control of the man and has to run to Leonardo DiCaprio for help.

Miramax Films

1

Sideways Is Way Funnier If You're A Wine Connoisseur

Fox Searchlight Pictures

I'm not sophisticated when it comes to food. More than once, I've eaten fried Spam straight from the pan using two old pencils as chopsticks because I didn't feel like doing the dishes. So I'm not in any position to criticize people for the foodstuff they put in their mouths. That being said, anyone who stopped drinking Merlot after seeing Sideways is a moron.

Fox Searchlight Pictures

It's true that in the movie, Paul Giamatti trash talks Merlot in favor of Pinot Noir, and we are nothing if not easily influenced by popular entertainment. The thing is that Miles, Giamatti's character, only really said: "If anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!" That's it. That's the only time he ever mentions the wine, without going into the specifics of why he hates it, not even a "My mother was bludgeoned to death with a bottle of Merlot." He actually spends more time disparaging Cabernet Franc wine, calling it "flabby" and "overripe," and saying how he never expects greatness from it.

And those two remarks weren't put in the movie because the producers had been paid off by Big Wank, the parent industry of Big Wine Snobbery. They were there to make wine experts giggle when Miles says that his most prized possession is a bottle of a 1961 Chateau Cheval Blanc, which is actually a blend of Merlot and Cabernet Franc.

There might be a metaphor in there somewhere seeing as Merlot was allegedly meant to be the favorite wine of Miles' ex-wife, so him drinking the Cheval Blanc at the end from a paper cup could symbolize him finally getting over her. But I think that we should look at the scene for what it really is: a classic example of irony-based humor, like showing Kanye West being able to read.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at c.j.strusiewicz@gmail.com.

For more from Cezary, check out 5 Filthy Jokes You (And the Censors) Missed in Famous Movies and 5 Brilliant Moments You Probably Missed in Famous Movies .

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