This experiment on a significant and no doubt scientifically valid group of one leads me to a conclusion: although it's true we tend to paint ourselves in the corner of whatever music we loved back when we were young and susceptible, a good number of us also seem to stop actively hating the kinds of music we didn't like back in the day. After all, we have a limited amount of energy to worry about things -- what's the point in using it on something someone created that we just don't happen to personally enjoy?
Of course, this theory doesn't apply to everyone. Nothing ever does. Five to 10 years down the line, I might well find myself hating 80 percent of music again, or maybe I'm just a freak of nature that's on his way to accepting everything. Maybe I should just put this to the ultimate test and try to sit through a full Nickelback album. Probably not, though -- finding out they might not be distilled awful would probably break some fundamental gear in my head machine.
Yanik Chauvin/iStock/Getty Images
Unless your name is Fred Rogers and you're somehow reading this despite having passed away in 2003 (in which case, hi!), there's an excellent chance that you have at least one considerable vice. Let's not even discuss which one; we both know what you're up to, you monster.
While it's certainly possible to ruin your health and even life with almost any vice at a relatively young age, people generally stay on top of their naughty habits during their 20s. I will now represent young-adult-you and your relationship with your favorite vice with a picture of a delighted bag of quinoa:
What, did you think these guys wouldn't turn up again?
But fast-forward a decade. Your body starts to catch up, your doctor starts giving his diagnoses by slapping you across the face. What used to delight you so gradually slips on a different jacket; it is fast becoming a thing that is wrecking you. Is your thing video games? "You should get out and exercise more." Food? "Your cholesterol is so high, your blood is literally 50 percent butter." Getting angry at things you see on Facebook? "Blood pressure." Alcohol? Cigarettes? Drugs? "Death, death, death."
See what's happening? The vices are still there, and probably even give you pleasure, but a combination of societal norms, health concerns, and your own brain slowly starts to eat away at their attractiveness. Slowly, thoughts of, "Should I just stop doing that?" start creeping into your 2 a.m. introspection marathon. Subtly, almost unnoticeably, your relationship with the vice becomes troubled. You know what picture comes next:
"Beer makes me happy and sad at the same time!"
How you deal with this is your own business and depends highly on the potential distruptiveness of your particular vice; if you're into, say, competitive knitting, chances are it's not going to wreck you too much until Groggath the Bloodthirsty finally snaps and stabs you with a crotchet hook after you win the fifth consecutive award from under his nose. Still, it's probably not an accident that when you search this very website for the words "quitting" and any vice you care to mention, the articles that turn up are generally written by people over 30 (well, John Cheese, mostly).
I'm not saying you should outright drop all things that give you pleasure because you're sometimes worried about them. I have many vices and a tendency to scream about them for all the Internet to hear; I'm in no position to judge. All I'm saying is that, sometimes when you're lying awake at night worrying about that shit, it's good to remember that a) you're not the only one, and b) you always have the option to do something about it.
Pauli Poisuo is a Cracked freelance editor and weekly columnist. Join his gang on Twitter and Facebook.
For more from Pauli, check out 5 Things No One Tells You About Dating Until It's Too Late. And then check out 27 Hit Songs as Understood by a 5-Year-Old.