Do you ever lie awake at whatever passes for 2 a.m. in your sleep cycle? That unholy time past the witching hour when the all-too-familiar "Aaaaaaahhhhh we're all going to die someday!" mood strikes and the kinds of Questions that warrant capitalization start running through your head? Sure you do. It's one of the nastier symptoms of a condition called being a person.
Although this will probably keep happening every once in a while for as long as you live (hooray!), chances are the things you find yourself pondering in the dead of night to ward off the bogeyman tend to change focus over time. As a kid, it might be the shadow of a particularly grim-looking tree outside, or the bully from school, or maybe that weird noise that oh god oh god it's coming from under the bed, isn't it? Then, you hit your teens and suddenly your night terrors are about all those strange and frightening things you pretend you don't give a s**t about during the day (and also about your awkwardness around people you find attractive, but that doesn't ever really go away, does it?). Finally, adulthood strikes, and you're kept awake by "How on Earth can I pay the rent next month?" this and "What if [INSERT ARBITRARY WORRY HERE] goes awry?" that.
A survey among three random senior citizens I cornered at the mall indicates this will later give way to
general dread of bladder-control issues and something they insisted on calling "floppage."