Dear Video Game Designers,

I grew up with video games around me. Around.

I was 15 years into my life before I could remove “at my cousin’s house” when saying, “I played _____ back in the day.” I am not the only late bloomer gamer that had limited access to video games until adulthood. You know this. This is why you have installed “Easy” and even “Very Easy” onto new releases or games with pixels for that throwback feel.

But while you nerfed the enemy AI so I could have a better, non-stress, non-”get gud” experience, there is one aspect most of you overlooked: The gaps between platforms. 

Nintendo

This image has haunted me since 1985.

I know I am asking for a lot. I know that it requires a lot of remapping. But for the love of all that is holy, I would love you all forever if there was some way to make the jumps between platforms smaller. Maybe add a platform between platforms on Easy mode? A float mechanic that you can switch on or off? I’ll even take a mode that allows the character to grows wings and say “You’re a sucky baby man that sucks at games, baby man, you baby, that’s right, you, the player!” every time it flies over gaps, no matter how difficult they are.

I am sure that I am not the only one who feels a bit left behind and has to take remedial platformer classes because I didn’t grow up having access to them like my cousin did. These are mostly single-player experiences anyway, so why not make our experiences a fun escape rather than a frustration that can’t seem to be improved? It’s not like I can box jump my thumbs for my character to jump higher and further.

So many games on my Switch, so many that will only go so far because of this. You aren’t getting any additional quarters, and so much of your work will go unnoticed by me since I can’t get past that one jump in the third level. Why hide it through the worst, anticlimactic way to die in a game?

I will always suck at your games, but I still want to love your game even if I suck at it.

Thanks,

A Guy Who Just Wants To Satisfyingly Kill His Lunch Break

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