Martha Stewart's Parole Officer Banned Her From Hosting 'Saturday Night Live'
Ahhh, Martha Stewart. Famous homemaker, best friend to Snoop Dogg, and living proof that near octogenarians can apparently still take fire Instagram thirst traps. Even amid her wild success, cookbooks, magazines, and television shows, the businesswoman has still suffered through her fair share of setbacks, namely her 2004 conviction on several crimes, including obstruction of justice, making false statements and conspiracy, leading to her spend five months in the slammer.
Although she has openly spoken about her time behind bars, describing the instance as "a very serious happening" in her 79 years, and explaining how her time in the big house "gave me the street cred I was lacking" in her longtime pal "Snoop's world," in a recent Harper's Bazaar profile, Stewart shared one regret from these contentious circumstances -- her extremely austere parole officer refused to let her host Saturday Night Live. "My only big regret that I can talk about is that Saturday Night Live asked me to host," the businesswoman explained in her new feature. "My probation officer wouldn't give me the time. That really pissed me off, because I would have loved to have hosted Saturday Night Live. I'd like that on my resume." wouldn't we all, Martha, wouldn't we all.
In the years following her felony conviction, the entrepreneur still has yet to host the famous sketch comedy show -- yet being the operative keyword here -- but Stewart has encountered several opportunities to sharpen her comedy chops in the subsequent years, as Vulture pointed out, citing her work in 2015's Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber as well as her appearance in the Roast of Bruce Willis. Move over, Turkey, you're not the only thing Stewart can apparently roast.
So SNL execs, if you're reading this, please, please let Martha host one of your episodes -- seriously, ya'll have dunked on her more than enough already.