As we embark on President Trump's final day in office, details slowly emerging on, who, exactly will receive some of the 100 pardons and commutations 45 is expected to issue in the coming hours, there is one famous felon who is seemingly beyond confident he'll make the list -- everyone's favorite tiger-taming, sequin-wearing reality TV icon, Mr. Joe Exotic. Currently serving a 22-year sentence for allegedly plotting to kill arch-nemesis and former Dancing With The Stars contestant, Carole Baskin, Exotic and his legal team are apparently so certain he will be exonerated, they've even commissioned a pickup truck/limo hybrid to wait outside the doors of his Texas prison.
"This time tomorrow, we're going to be celebrating," Eric Love, the private investigator leading Exotic's case, told Metro earlier this week. "We have good reason to believe it will come through. We're confident enough we already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison. We are really in action mode right now."
And it seems Love wasn't bluffing. On Tuesday, Perris Jones, a local reporter from Oklahoma City's ABC News affiliate, KOCO-TV took to Twitter with a snap of Exotic's extra-as-hell and certifiably on-brand ride, a stretch limo, complete with both a flatbed truck and what appears to be Delorean doors.
"I’m told this is the limousine that will be waiting to pick up Joe Exotic if he receives the pardon tomorrow," Jones wrote. "The lead advocate of Team Tiger tells me they’ll be taking him to a secure location. He says Joe doesn’t want anyone to see him until his hair his [sic] done." Joe Exotic, he's just like our moms!
Now, reader, I know what you're probably thinking -- "How does Big Cat Rescue founder and flower-crown enthusiast, Carole Baskin, feel about all this?" Apparently, not too great. "There is no benefit, other than a feeble attempt to deflect attention, for anyone to pardon someone who walked up to five tigers and shot them in the head in order to clear cage space for the circus, who was going to pay him to board their tigers during the off season," Baskin told Insider over email. "Tigers are the world's favorite animal and Joe Schreibvogel Maldonado Passage is right where he belongs," she added, referencing Exotic by his full name. Carole Baskin, she's also just like our moms?
So, folks, regardless of what happens today, there is one thing I know for sure -- my next car will undoubtedly be a pickup truck limo.