Happy(?) Friday, folks! Election Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday have all came and went, leaving us stranded on day three (or four, is it?) of what feels like the longest presidential race in U.S. history. If you're anything like me, you're exhausted, mentally drained, and wishing with every last fiber of your being for the gloriously sweet moment when that last vote has been tallied, revealing for certain who, exactly, will be the next President of the United States. After all, a girl can only refresh Twitter and panic at the sound of the BBC's melodramatic notification noise so many times before she has a complete mental breakdown. Despite new data highlighting Joe Biden's lead in most remaining key states as of Friday afternoon, there has been no confirmed nor projected winner as the ballot count continues. 

Yet amid this seemingly unending chaos, there is one beacon of astral clarity -- the heretofore spot-on predictions of a TikTok astrologer, marenaltman. Last month, the social media star shared her predictions for how the election would pan out on the short-form video platform, and, well,  her takes aged like a fine wine. 

@marenaltman

"I think Trump's going to lose the election, refuse to leave office, and incite massive uprisings," she said in a video from October 14. "As I've mentioned in videos past, Biden's astrology looks more straightforward into getting authority, but Kamala Harris' extremely auspicious next decade is what sold me on predicting the Biden-Harris ticket winning. However, Trump has such shitshow alignments this November/December, and even the new moon on October 16 looks like a certain amount of 'win' for him, at the cost of others especially, could be Amy Coney Barrett getting nominated." 

However, these alignments are apparently not without Precedent when it comes to who could be the future president. "The eclipse on November 30 is falling into Joe Biden's first house of self, every presidential candidate that has won in the past few cycles has had eclipses falling in their first house of self, including Trump in 2016," she explained. 

So far, she seems to be spot on. With the former Democratic Vice President taking the lead in states including Georgia, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Arizona, it seems Biden actually has a decent chance of winning this, despite the fluidity of the situation. In the days following the vote, President Trump has tweeted multiple times about the illegitimacy of mail-in ballots, sparking protests to "stop the count" and counter-protests urging officials to "count the vote."

In the days following the election, many Twitter users have taken note of her weirdly accurate astrological analyses, 

"this TikTok astrologer predicted the whole election like a month ago," wrote user @puertofico alongside a screenshot of her TikTok profile. "I would trust her with my life."

"Honestly, give her a job at 538," added user @TheStefanSmith, re-uploading one of her TikTok offerings on the subject. 

Well, FiveThirtyEight, you head the people -- you know who to call for the 2022 midterms. 

For more TikTok stories from your new favorite Taurus, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone

Think Today Was Crazy?

Wait 'til you hear about the moments in history you missed! Get a new story sent directly to your inbox every day! No ads, no videos, just your daily shot of Cracked. Sign up now!

Forgot Password?