This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Life is full of ambiguities. One of the biggest ones is the difference between the things you need and the things you want, but in a capitalist society, is there really any difference? That's up to you to decide. We don't know the unique circumstances of your life. All we can do is offer up some strange goodies we found on the internet that seemed like they might be useful and ask, "Do you need this?" We await your reply.
With a 4.7-rating on Amazon, the Kooduu is just about the coolest speaker you'll ever meet. This funky speaker looks like a lawn decoration but it actually works as a lamp, Bluetooth speaker, and wine cooler (as in, a device that cools your wine-don't drink the device) all in one. Getting your light, tunes, and booze from one place: Now that's efficiency.
Knowing our audience, you've probably spent most of your life with people trying to keep chainsaws away from you. But you're an adult now, and whether you want to simply remove a dead tree or make some badass, buzzy art, that's no one's business but yours. Whatever the case, why not use the best tool for the job? This ingenious little chainsaw is used by the US Military to cut through limbs and brush, around fences and roots, and more. It's a dependable little tool that fits in your pocket, is eco-friendly, and can replace some bulkier, noisier landscaping tools. Seriously, have you heard of chainsaw bears? You don't even need to see them to know you want one.
Like you, this clever phone mount is so much more than it appears, and that's why it's earned rave reviews from Business Insider, Men's Journal, and more. It can act as a tripod, selfie stick, car mount-the only limit is your imagination. Do you need to stick two things together on short notice? A last-minute fashion accessory? Just something to talk to? Whatever you need it for, Tenikle(R)'s got you.
Mountain biking through the wilderness this summer? You'll need a way to get your bike there, especially if you have a sedan. This clever unit sets up easily on your roof, allowing you to securely transport your bike all the way to the mountains so you can just ride downhill instead of chasing your bike down there after it falls off your DIY rig. Have you ever raced an actual bike? They're built for it. You're not. Don't take the risk.
If you're waking up freezing in the middle of the night every night, you definitely need this. If you just don't sleep all that well from time to time, you may want this supremely cozy, easy-to-clean down comforter. If you're perfectly content all the time, don't worry; this deal is open to you, too. What's the worst that could happen? You'll feel even more pleasant?
Again, if you can't sleep, it may be time to change something up. This luxurious sheet set is made from crisp, super-breathable bamboo fabric and will help you stay cool and comfortable all night long. Plus, you can honestly tell people that you sleep in a tree.
They make memory foam mattresses that conform to your body, but they're, like, thousands of dollars. A memory foam pillow is a nice compromise, cradling your head and neck in a sweet, sweet cloud all night long without doing unspeakable things to your wallet behind your back.
Maybe you're a cheeky, geeky Star Wars lover. Maybe you're just a huge nerd. Probably, if you're one of those things, you're also the other. Either way, if you like this shirt, you probably do need it. What are you gonna do, just not wear shirts? Most businesses frown upon that.
Clear sunglasses might sound like an appropriately transparent scam, butespite the clear lenses, these sunglasses offer UV400 protection. Also, when you're wearing them, you can point at them and say "This is the Carter" just like Lil' Wayne.
We don't know why you might need to set something on fire in the middle of a rainstorm, and we're not going to ask. We're simply going to point out that this plasma lighter works in all weather and creates a flame that's hotter than fire. Yeah, that's a thing. Boom, science. Plus, you'll never run out of fuel or have to feel guilty about using environmentally harmful butane lighter fluid. The guilt about whatever you're up to is another problem, but commerce can't solve that.
Prices subject to change.