They Get Unlimited Porn And Candy
For those in public service, there's no greater reward than the smiles of a happy public. Well, except free porn. Luckily, that's exactly what everyone in Congress gets. Back in 1983, Larry Flynt (the hairier, smuttier version of Hugh Hefner) started sending copies of Hustler, which we're told is a gentleman's magazine of some description, to every member of Congress. We want you to know it took incredible restraint not to include a "member" pun in the previous sentence.
Anyway, despite the fact that this started during the dark ages before the internet, not everyone in Congress was appreciative. In 1984, 264 (out of 535) congressional offices, along with the USPS, petitioned the District of Columbia to halt the deliveries. The case went to the U.S. District Court, and Congress ... lost, on the grounds that banning the deliveries would've violated Flynt's right to free speech -- a judgment that the court handed down with a scorching "deal with it."
United States District Court, District of ColumbiaOr tissues, for that matter.
The deliveries still continue to this day, and according to The Atlantic, a lot of those magazines are used by interns to play pranks on each other. "We assume, at this point, that staff members are either reading it or tossing it," said a Hustler representative, winking so hard that he probably dislocated his eyelid.
And if the prospect of free smut isn't enough to tempt you to take up a career in politics, what about free candy?
Senate.govNo, of the "mouth" variety.
In a tradition that started way back in 1965, the "Candy Desk" is a desk in the Senate that's always kept well-stocked with sweets. Since the desk is situated on the Republican side, past candy suppliers have included John McCain and Rick Santorum. Rumors that it's currently guarded by Jeff Sessions at the end of a rainbow are absurd. He's no longer a senator.
Congresspeople Have To Commute Using A Tiny Train
Capitol Hill sits atop a sprawling network of underground tunnels. We'd make a few easy jokes about how they lead to doomsday bunkers or lizard nests, but some of you wacky bastards might believe us.
WashingtonTunnels.com/CityLabPUT THAT SHOVEL DOWN, ALEX.