4

Jack Kirby Almost Punched Nazis Over Captain America Punching Hitler

Nazis, like most dumb shitty bullies, don't like it when you make fun of them. And it's not just the re(jack)boot Nazis on Twitter! It's a pattern that's held since the OG Nazis, with them bellyaching over movies like The Great Dictator and comics like Captain America -- particularly that first issue, in which Cap decks Hitler with the same gusto that exploded over Richard Spencer's face a few years back.

Marvel ComicsBack in simpler times, before "Fuck Adolf Hitler" bafflingly became a controversial statement.

American Nazis were so pissed about this cover that they soon started bombarding the offices of Joe Simon and Jack Kirby with hate mail, obscene phone calls, and death threats. ("I once got a letter from a Nazi who told me to pick out any lamppost I wanted on Times Square, because when Hitler arrived, they'd hang me from it.") It was only after they started stalking Simon and Kirby that the mayor stepped in to offer the pair around-the-clock police protection, saying, "You boys over there are doing a good job. The city of New York will see that no harm will come to you." It's not as if the boys were completely defenseless, however, as Kirby's response to one unwelcome visitor demonstrates:

"On occasion the Timely office would get phone calls and letters from Nazi sympathizers threatening the creators of Captain America. Once, while Jack was in the Timely office, a call came from someone in the lobby. When Kirby answered, the caller threatened Jack with bodily harm if he showed his face. Kirby told the caller he would be right down, but by the time Jack reached street level, there was no one to be found."

3

Kim Kardashian's "Break The Internet" Cover Was Modeled On A Racist Photo Shoot

Back in 2014, Kim Kardashian became an inescapable attention black hole with her now-infamous "Break The Internet" photo shoot for Paper -- which included a cover that provided hours of titillation and assillation to dozens of NBA players.

Paper MagazineStill, you have to respect the ingenuity of putting a picture of a butt on the internet, a medium known for its perpetual shortage of nude photos.

Other than the clearly unsanitary champagne service methods, do you want to know else what is a little gross about this cover? The fact that it's modeled on a racist-as-all-hell photo shoot from the 1970s known as the "Champagne Incident," which starred a "happy savage pleased to serve" called "Carolina."

Jean-Paul GoudeWe can blur the nudity, but editing out the ickiness might be beyond what Photoshop is capable of.

2

Demi Moore's Famous Cover Photo Was Originally Meant To Be Private

This might be hard to imagine, but there was a time when pregnant celebrities didn't make a big deal of the fact. They didn't throw a photo of the used pregnancy test on Instagram, they didn't sell their child's image rights for millions to TMZ, and they didn't pose naked and cradling their bumps for glossy magazine covers.

And then "More Demi Moore" happened.

Vanity FairWhat's especially impressive is that this happened a full two years before the discovery of nudity.

In 1991, Moore agreed to pose for the cover of Vanity Fair while seven months pregnant. The result oozed with such raw sexuality that sellers mandated that the magazine come packaged inside a large white envelope, lest customers burst into flames at the sight of a bare tummy.

1

The Onion's 9/11 Issue Was Their First Distributed In New York City

It almost seems like an overstatement to say that 9/11 was a massive suck for comedy (and, you know, life in general). That is, until The Onion published its, er, commemorative(?) edition of the paper, which punched at everything from the government response ("U.S. Vows To Defeat Who It Is We're At War With") to the national mood ("Not Knowing What Else To Do, Woman Bakes American-Flag Cake") to pop culture ("American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie").

The OnionThe story about Jerry Falwell remains evergreen.

It was an impressive issue ... especially considering that it was the first print issue of The Onion ever distributed in NYC.

After having a joyous party in Manhattan on 9/10 to celebrate their first NYC release the next day, the Onion crew found themselves rushing to cancel everything due to the 9/11phant in the room. It wasn't until the following week that the staffers were able to reconvene and figure out how to cover the attacks, because, well, they had a magazine to publish. And it wasn't as if they could publish the issue written pre-9/11 anymore, in which the lead story was likely an extended bit about subway or pizza or, uh ... people walkin' ova' heah?

Eventually, the issue came into being, but then another problem emerged. They weren't just poking fun at one of the worst terrorist attacks in history, but were also doing so in the wreckage-strewn backyard of said attack. How would the public react? What would the media say? Where would everyone be getting another job? Was Sbarro's hiring?

When they arrived in the office the next morning, after the issue had hit newsstands, the team was surprised to learn that no one had issued a fatwa against them. Rather, the office's fax machine was overflowing with messages of support and congratulations. ("The top one just read 'That's funny, that's funny, that's funny.'") Which is a huge change in how people react to seeing The Onion appear in their news feeds today -- not least because that means one thing and one thing only.

Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter dedicated to depressing history facts. It's not as heartbreakingly sad as it sounds, promise!

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