Maybe that's why the UK is considering straight up banning any ads that show men as being useless at stuff like chores or changing diapers or whatever. Presumably, they're tired of dealing with women masturbating to Mr. Clean commercials in the office.
Related: 4 Commercials Directed At An Audience That Doesn't Exist
You're A Piece Of Shit, So You Might As Well Be A Rich Piece Of Shit
Give E-Trade some credit. They know their product doesn't make the world better. It purely exists to make people richer. In fact, it's generally best used by people who have no other way to fill the emotional void in their life. In at least one commercial, their pitch is essentially "Hey, you suck and you're going to die alone, but if you buy our software, you might make some money, and dying alone with money is better than dying alone without money."
The commercial starts with a guy trying to convince us that he definitely likes his awesome new brother-in-law.
Which should be easy, since we already like this charmer from a single screenshot.
His new bro possesses all sorts of great qualities the main character doesn't have: He smells good, he's got a killer 5 o'clock shadow, and he's captured the affection of our hero's father in a way he never could. Dad wants to go fishing with the brother-in-law, even though he hates fishing. The only thing he hates more than fishing? His actual son.