This Spider Builds 80-Foot-Long Webs Stronger Than Kevlar

There's nothing more annoying than walking into a spider web. One minute you're having a pleasant conversation with a friend in the woods, all proud of yourself for actually getting outdoors instead of festering inside with GTAV, then the next minute you're frantically clawing at some invisible force field, yelling, "I TAKE IT BACK I HATE NATURE THIS IS GROSS BURN IT ALL!"

In all fairness, we're usually able to tear through the web, brush ourselves off, and keep moving without much trouble. And if we see the web early enough, we can duck under it, or walk around it. Really, the biggest issue is that all of our friends now know how quickly we flip out when things brush against our bodies.

Continue Reading Below


None of this applies to the Darwin's bark spider of Madagascar. This arachnid constructs what looks like a gargantuan fishing net across lengths of up to 80 feet:

The length of <i>three</i> Cracked writers' penises.Lalueza-Fox, C.; Agnarsson, I.; Kuntner, M.; Blackledge, T. A.The length of three Cracked writers' penises.

Continue Reading Below


It builds the type of comically huge webs that Spider-Man hastily throws together whenever he needs to catch a crashing plane full of boy scouts. Though this spider doesn't follow it with a witty quip.

At least, not to our current knowledge ...Ingi Agnarsson, Matjaz Kuntner, Todd A. BlackledgeAt least, not to our current knowledge ...

Continue Reading Below


To support such a massive web, the strands are ten times the strength of Kevlar. So while the Darwin's bark spider isn't big enough to devour a human ...

... Yet.GalliasM/Wiki Commons"... Yet."

... the durability of its silk will definitely leave it enough time to mock you from a distance while you flail around helplessly. On the plus side, though, your spiderweb freakout will finally be justified.

Continue Reading Below


And the closest you'll ever get to this is shooting some Spidey webs from your wrists.

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out This All-White Giraffe Looks Insanely Cool and This Bizarre Fish Looks Just Like The Predator.

Hey. You. Follow us on Facebook.

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Articles

5 'Ugh' Trump Stories The News Totally Forgot About

We're so inundated with Trump news that we shrug off scandals that would tank any other president.


4 Crapsack Things That Are Still Legal In The USA

The year is 2020.


6 Obnoxious Tourist Scams From Around The Globe

Every tourist destination has scammers looking to separate the unwary from their money.


The Craziest Movie Easter Egg That Nobody Noticed

We thing this might just be the craziest, most elaborate Easter egg in movie history.


6 Soulless Companies That Own, Like, Everything

Here are some companies we're just sorta letting take over the world.


5 Towns Ruined By The Movies Filmed There

We're not sure if you've noticed this, but movie fans can get a little ... obsessive.