There's nothing more annoying than walking into a spider web. One minute you're having a pleasant conversation with a friend in the woods, all proud of yourself for actually getting outdoors instead of festering inside with GTAV, then the next minute you're frantically clawing at some invisible force field, yelling, "I TAKE IT BACK I HATE NATURE THIS IS GROSS BURN IT ALL!"

In all fairness, we're usually able to tear through the web, brush ourselves off, and keep moving without much trouble. And if we see the web early enough, we can duck under it, or walk around it. Really, the biggest issue is that all of our friends now know how quickly we flip out when things brush against our bodies.

None of this applies to the Darwin's bark spider of Madagascar. This arachnid constructs what looks like a gargantuan fishing net across lengths of up to 80 feet:

This Spider Builds 80-Foot-Long Webs Stronger Than Kevlar
Lalueza-Fox, C.; Agnarsson, I.; Kuntner, M.; Blackledge, T. A.
The length of three Cracked writers' penises.

It builds the type of comically huge webs that Spider-Man hastily throws together whenever he needs to catch a crashing plane full of boy scouts. Though this spider doesn't follow it with a witty quip.

This Spider Builds 80-Foot-Long Webs Stronger Than Kevlar
Ingi Agnarsson, Matjaz Kuntner, Todd A. Blackledge
At least, not to our current knowledge ...

To support such a massive web, the strands are ten times the strength of Kevlar. So while the Darwin's bark spider isn't big enough to devour a human ...

This Spider Builds 80-Foot-Long Webs Stronger Than Kevlar
GalliasM/Wiki Commons
"... Yet."

... the durability of its silk will definitely leave it enough time to mock you from a distance while you flail around helplessly. On the plus side, though, your spiderweb freakout will finally be justified.

And the closest you'll ever get to this is shooting some Spidey webs from your wrists.

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