A patient's family could theoretically sue a physician who let their loved one die based on some bad ink, but then, a patient could theoretically wake up and sue once they found out their DNR was violated. Something to keep in mind before you take out hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical student loans: You could theoretically be ruined by a dumb joke tattoo.

Now, Mary was pretty much done for no matter what, but if she didn't stop using her sister's organs, she might take Jodie down as well. That left their parents with three options: 1) Just kinda, you know, chill on the whole thing, letting both twins die in three to six months, 2) separate them right away, letting Mary die but giving Jodie a good chance at a normal life, or 3) separate them only when it was truly necessary, which would more than likely kill Jodie along with Mary. The parents, devout Catholics, chose the "Jesus take the wheel" route, to which their medical team responded, "Wait, 'Let's do nothing' wasn't really an option," and kicked the decision up to the English court system.

There is precedent for this kind of thing. In 1977, a Jewish couple in Philadelphia faced the same conflict. Torn between killing one daughter outright and dooming the other by not doing so, they left the decision up to rabbinical scholars, who determined that separation was permissible because the "weaker" twin was already "designated for death" (also the title of our least favorite Steven Seagal movie).

Jodie and Mary's case worked its way through the courts, ending with the Court of Appeal's decision to proceed with the surgery. Mary passed away the day after the operation, and Jodie has since grown into a healthy teenager who happens to have a hell of a "two truths and a lie" strategy up her sleeve.

If Rayhons indeed had sex with his wife that day, the question of whether the act constituted assault isn't entirely clear cut. A hospital examination immediately following the incident found no signs of physical assault, but her ability to consent remains murky, despite her doctor's previously stated opinion. Dementia progresses gradually, with symptoms fluctuating from day to day. There is no medical consensus on when an Alzheimer's patient is no longer able to consent, and many experts believe the desire for sex persists even past the point when patients can no longer take care of themselves. They may not remember your name, but they do remember the way to Bone Town, it seems. Nurses close to the situation attest that even at her worst, Donna Rayhons always reacted positively when her husband came to visit. Which, of course, means basically nothing either way.

Whatever the case, Henry Rayhons pleaded not guilty, maintaining that no sexual activity had occurred on the date in question, and he was eventually acquitted. While no definitive proof ever came to light, the preponderance of evidence we do have (which also included a confession, later ruled invalid, as well as some suspicious changes in his story) suggests that the jury didn't believe Mr. Rayhons, but also didn't see fit to punish him for having sex with his wife, who may have been willing but was not able to be willing.

It's ... complicated.

Wilson died in prison in 2007. His lawyers had at least convinced him to let them disclose what they knew after his death, and armed with decades-old affidavits, the pair had Logan freed in 2008. By that point, he had already served almost half his life in prison, so something tells us he didn't send them a thank-you note.

To further complicate matters, Malawi has made some giant leaps in providing care to HIV-positive pregnant women in the last decade. In 2011, the nation's Ministry of Health formally mandated approved treatment for every HIV-positive pregnant woman, resulting in a 748 percent increase in Malawian women receiving treatment. So by participating in "cutting-edge" U.S. studies, Malawian women might receive inferior treatment when compared with the state-sponsored care now available to them. This is but another chapter in the long history of friction between medical science and brown people -- one that illustrates that while the person in the white coat might have the best interests of humanity at heart, that doesn't necessarily mean yours specifically.

Justin Krez is a vagrant who is alternatively writing or day-drinking in a P.F. Chang's. You can't find him on Twitter, but you might find him meditating in a cardboard box. Michael Battaglino is a new contributor to Cracked.com. Be sure to check out some of his other work if you enjoyed this article. A.P. Anderson is a freelance editor and comedy writer from Athens, GA. He once sold a potato to Michael Stipe. Find him on Twitter: @Breezus_H

That last one there was like a much more complicated version of Dallas Buyers Club.

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