7 Insane Conspiracies That Actually Happened
People love a good conspiracy theory. The JFK assassination plot, aliens crash landing at Roswell, the 9/11 truth movement and charges of government surveillance are all an indelible part of our pop culture landscape and are by and large, total bullshit.
So where does your average conspiracy buff go to learn about shadowy plots that aren't pure tinfoil hattery?
Look no further.
#7.
The Business Plot
The Plan:
In 1933, group of wealthy businessmen that allegedly included the heads of Chase Bank, GM, Goodyear, Standard Oil, the DuPont family and Senator Prescott Bush tried to recruit Marine Corps Major General Smedley Butler to lead a military coup against President FDR and install a fascist dictatorship in the United States. And yes, we're talking about the same Prescott Bush who fathered one US President and grandfathered another one.
Prescott Bush
How did that work out?
A good rule of thumb: never trust a man named Smedley to run your hostile military coup for you. Besides being no fan of fascism, Smedley Butler was both a patriot and a vocal FDR supporter. Apparently none of these criminal masterminds noticed that their prospective point man had actively stumped for FDR in 1932.
Smedley spilled the beans to a congressional committee in 1934. Everyone he accused of being a conspirator vehemently denied it, and none of them were brought up on criminal charges. Still, the House McCormack-Dickstein Committee did at least acknowledge the existence of the conspiracy, which ended up never getting past the initial planning stages.
Though many of the people who had allegedly backed the Business Plot also maintained financial ties with Nazi Germany up through America's entry into World War II. But at least the United States never ended up becoming a fascist dictatorship (unless you ask Ron Paul supporters).
The lesson here? Fascist or not, you don't fuck around with guys named Smedley or Dickstein.
#6.
The July 20 Plot
The Plan:
Near the end of WWII, things were rapidly going south for Germany and the time seemed ripe for guilt-ridden Nazi officers to assassinate Hitler and overthrow his government. Colonel Henning von Tresckow recruited Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg to join the conspiracy in 1944.
The plot to take out Hitler and then all of his loyal officers was called Operation Valkyrie, based on the belief that no plan can fail if it has a cool enough name.
How did that work out?
In July 1944, Stauffenberg was promoted so that he could now start attending military strategy meetings with Hitler himself. On more than one occasion Stauffenberg planned to kill Hitler at such a meeting with a briefcase bomb, but he always held off because he also wanted to take out Hitler's two right-hand men, Hermann Goering and Heinrich Himmler. On July 20, he went for it anyway and exploded a bomb inside Hitler's conference room with a remote detonator.
Hitler, who as a level-20 dark wizard had extraordinary damage absorption abilities, survived with only minor injuries.
Photos taken after the attempt depict Hitler's health at 100 percent.
Stauffenberg fled when he found out his assassination attempt had failed and that the Fuhrer was explosion-proof. When the other conspirators found out that Hitler was still alive, they lost their nerve and Operation Valkyrie never went into effect. After the coup never got off the ground, several conspirators committed suicide, and Fromm turned in the rest to save his own skin. Unfortunately for him, Hitler wasn't nearly as forgiving as his fiery public speeches and penchant for genocide would lead you to believe, and Fromm was executed along with the remaining conspirators.
The good news for the legacy of Claus von Stauffenberg is that he's become something of a folk hero in Germany, a symbol of conscientious resistance to the Nazi regime. They're even making a movie about him, called Valkyrie. The bad news for his legacy ...
... is that he's going to be played by Tom Cruise. Hey, do you think Scientology will get a mention in this article? Stay tuned!
#5.
Operation Ajax
The Plan:
For years, Britain had a spiffy trade deal with Iran regarding their prodigious oil fields. The Anglo-Iranian Oil Company was basically a giant money machine for the Anglo half, while the Iranian half got shafted. That all changed in 1951 when Iran nationalized the AIOC and the Iranian parliament elected Mohammed Mossadegh as Prime Minister. Mossadegh was relatively secular, something that pissed of Iranian clerics, but he was also very nationalistic. When Britain tried to regain control of the AIOC, he gave them the finger. Tea was spilled, crumpets were dropped and monocles everywhere popped out in shock.
Britain
You can guess what happened next. Jolly old England went to its ally, the United States, and convinced President Dwight D. Eisenhower to help overthrow the democratically elected leader of Iran and install a pro-West monarchy. Together the CIA and British intelligence services funneled guerrilla troops, anti-Mossadegh propaganda and tons of bribes into Iran.
How did that work out?
In the short term? Great! The mostly ceremonial position of Shah (king) of Iran was restored to its former imperial glory, but this time as a puppet of the West. The White House and Tehran became BFFs, and as long as the US government overlooked the numerous human rights abuses happening in Iran, all was well.
Until 1979, that is, when a pissed off Iranian populace finally revolted and replaced the monarchy with an anti-West Islamic Republic. One messy hostage crisis later, and Iran and the US were no longer BFFs. But hey, at least the US learned a very important lesson about overthrowing the governments of unfriendly Middle Eastern countries.
#4.
The Gunpowder Plot
The Plan:
A group of conspirators (including Guy Fawkes, Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving) decided to blow the fuck out of the British House of Parliament, thus killing pretty much all of the aristocracy, as well as King James I.
In May of 1604, a group of Britons who were fed up with King James's rule met with Robert Catesby. As Catholics, they were tired of the Protestant government. In accordance with the teachings of their faith, they apparently decided that the best way to solve their problems was to kill everyone.
The conspirators were taking up residence across the street from The House of Lords, the building the upper house of parliament met in. Their original plan was to burrow their way to the underground foundation of The House of Lords, and lay their explosives there. When that proved to be more difficult than they had originally planned, they decided to just rent a room in the cellar of building. The explosives were quickly moved into place, and all that was left was to wait for the annual Opening of Parliament.
How did that work out?
While they were waiting, one of the conspirators sent a letter to Lord Monteagle, a high ranking Catholic, which basically said, "Hypothetically, we could blow up Parliament on the day it opens this year. So don't go, hypothetically speaking." This proved to be their undoing, as Lord Monteagle immediately passed the news on to the Secretary of State. The House of Lords was searched, and Guy Fawkes, the man left in charge of watching the explosives, was found and arrested.
Lord Monteagle
None of the protestant politicians were killed, but the plan wasn't a complete failure. King James admitted in a speech that not all Catholics were as crazy as the ones arrested in connection with the plot, which is good, because a lot of historians have suggested that if the plot succeeded, there would have been a very violent backlash against Catholic communities. Plus, England now celebrates Guy Fawkes night every November 5th.
Apparently the conspirators had also planned to kidnap the royal children, as well as incite a revolt. However, they never made it to this part of their plan due to the fact that they had been hung and eviscerated.
Dafaq did i just read
Reply"But at least the United States never ended up becoming a fascist dictatorship."-2008
ReplyPatriot Act.
NDAA (effectiviely erases Habeus Corpus).
President Obama has (admittedly) executed an American citizen without due process of any kind.
President Obama has stated he does not need the approval of Congress to go to war (and has done so).
We are involved in at least 3 invasive, unprovoked wars against sovereign nations.
Mayor of Chicago now has the ability to override Posse Comitatus (use of military forces for police powers on US soil).
NYC seeking to put full body scanners (the ones that we protested being put into airports, because they're extremely invasive and cause medical problems) on city streets to scan passerbys without their knowledge ("to protect us in the War on Guns").
And more
-(2012)
Please look these things up if you think it's just tinfoil hattery. Seriously, please do. I don't mean this in a smug, I'm right way; I mean it in a we seriously need to be informed of what our government does and get involved as soon as possible way. Not from America? Also look it up, because this affects you to a great degree.
Please look into these claims; it won't take long.
Or, dismiss me as crazy and don't bother find out whether or not I'm a nutjob. I'm sure Kanye and Kim have done something more interesting this week.
While I agree with most of what you said here, Habeus Corpus was not erased. The NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act) did not eliminate Habeas Corpus from our rights, even if they wanted to, they could not overrule the Supreme Court's decisions, that basically guarantees those accused of terrorism the right to challenge their detention. This is just looking back at the whole Hamdi and Boumediene vs the president (Bush, at the time). In the end, the Court held that all detainees in Guantanamo Bay have a constitutional right to petition for writs of habeas corpus. But other than that, you're spot on, bro :)
Mostly bullshit.
"Apparently none of these criminal masterminds noticed that their prospective point man had actively stumped for FDR in 1932."
ReplyThis alone should tell you that this story is complete bullshit. These people weren't idiots. This was all testified about under the HUAC. You know ... the precursor to McCarthyism? Why would they ask some retired general who supported FDR to lead a coup against FDR? Biggest load of horseshit ever. The only person of the age that was really a threat of any such thing was Huey Long. But then he was a RABID LEFTIST. I also notice you didn't provide a single link supporting this nonsense to be true.
I AM CONTROLLIN' YOUR MIND!
Reply"But hey, at least the US learned a very important lesson about overthrowing the governments of unfriendly Middle Eastern countries."
Reply...They're the unfriendly ones??
They didn't mention the good that came of MKULTRA however
ReplyThe only good thing to come out of MKULTRA was the song, by Muse.
I remember my sister saying that Prince William is the devil and when he becomes king, game over dude. I don't believe her, but that was too funny not to share.
ReplyThat would be awkward, given his grandmother's the de facto head of the Anglican church.
I can't believe that there are Americans that need to be taught about Guy Fawkes.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesWhere do they think bonfire/fireworks night came from?
Wait, I apologise. I didn't realise that they didn't celebrate it outside of Britain.
We call it Independence Day and celebrate it on July 4th.
Independence Day isn't about Guy Fawkes at all, it's about the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the creation of the United States. As an American I feel you should know this better than me, a Brit
Most Americans who are decently intelligent know of Guy Fawkes (If they're not decently versed in history, they've at least seen V for Vendetta). I'm not totally sure why the writer found it necessary to include him in the article.
Its one of those little quirks that everyone in Britain knows but didn't really have any bearing on the world as a whole, so as far as general history its usually just brushed over because it didn't mean anything outside of Britain. Similar to Harper's Ferry or Bleeding Kansas in the US.
Ha Guy F*cks
I'm not from the U.S or U.K and I remember learning about Guy Fawkes as a kid, so I was surprised to find that entry on here. However, I am from New Zealand (originally) which is part of the Commonwealth and I'm pretty sure that may have something to do with it!
How about the "Suburbia" conspiracy?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLiterally the automobile companies worked to influence both urban planning and "Zoning" laws to in short force people to need their product. They also bought up and lobotomized or trashed any "Public Transport" operations when they could. This is no "Batshit insane" stuff, it's a clear open conspiracy with a clear, open profit goal. And due to that, we are dependent as a nation on massive amounts of cheap energy being imported. Just so the auto company CEOs and top investors could be wealthier than some oil sheiks because they didn't have to compete with public buses and people had to drive 2 hours versus walking 15 minutes to their sh-t jobs.
We'd want to listen to your conspiracy if you didn't make it sound slightly batshit insane and paranoid and if you backed it up with some sort of evidence.
seems legit
Strange... public transit and car stuff get along fine here... in the county to the north, they have public transit, but their operation is collapsing under its own corruption, without any help from 'big oil'.
You DO know that America is a HUGE country, right?
To be frank, the democratically elected leader of Iran was a pronounced Socialist, and being that it had a long border with Russia to the north, many in the west were afraid that a deal would be struck with the Ruskies. Communist Russia wasn't like Communist China is today; no it was full of snow and terrible vodka that made people rather surly.
ReplyAre you promoting our government's meddling in the internal affairs of other countries?
To be frank, be it good or bad, one shouldn't respond to a people's democratically elected government by instating a totalitarian regime.
do Americans SERIOUSLY belive the gunpowder plot didnt happen?
Reply Hide All See All 9 RepliesMost people don't care about Britain's history as much as the British think they should. If it weren't V for Vendetta most wouldn't have heard of Guy Fawkes.
Who said that it didn't happen? The article is about conspiracies that actually happened. That was a conspiracy. That actually happened. Like, it says it right in the title, man.
ahh like we dont really give a f**k about American history
Most Americans' knowledge of American history is abysmal. You can't expect them to know much about the history of any other country.
There's little reason most non-Brits should know about Guy Fawkes but how internationally the Signing of the Magna Carta is ignored is criminal. The Magna Carta is basically the template of every legal document since
I think nearly all educated Americans know of Guy Fawkes. Personally, I feel like, being that Britain is our mother country, we as Americans should pay more respect to its history as it was so influential on our own. However, we're Britain's kid, so I don't think they have as much of a duty to knowing our history as it didn't influence theirs nearly as much. In the end, the Brits who complain about Americans ignorant to their history are being arrogant and annoying, but they're right.
The gun-powder plot is one of those little quirks that really didn't mean much outside of Britain so most people don't study it. Most people (including Americans) that study history know about the Magna Carta, Glorious Revolution, English Civil War, Spanish Armada, John Locke, Thomas Hobbes, things that actually did have influence outside of Britain itself. Its not like people outside the US study things like the Teapot Dome scandal, Bloody Kansas, or the Mountain Meadows massacre.
Im american and i know of guy fawkes thanks to V for Vendetta and wikipedia research on him afterword
I knew about the whole Magna Carta thing and how its influenced so much. Us Americans need to all take civics classes.
I really wish you had sited some sources to that article. I've read it before I can just comment now. And I'm drunk. We all know america is okay with monarch's as long as they are okay with our money trade, right? From the diamonds using slavery to reach our wives hands to the disgusting human rights abuses going on in Vietnam, Cambodia, etc. its beyond conspiracy. I mean, right? We collectively know now. Right?
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesHush, you. American Idol is on.
if you're drunk why are you commenting on a serious article? get back in the gutter you alcoholic hobo
Fox News man. I've seen people that don't know anything, it's frightening that they occupy a good percentage of my country.
Hey, I comment on articles when I'm drunk. What's wrong with that? Freedom for the drinking and internet-ing oppressed! We shall rise in our numbers. Just as soon as we figure out wtf are we supposed to blow up? Does anyone know where we left the TNT? What's my name? Whu-uh?
Claus von Stauffenberg didn't want to kill hitler because he thought hitler was an evil douchebag, he wanted to kill hitler because he felt that hitler was running the nazi party into the ground and also because they were losing the war.
Reply-disclaimer- DO NOT READ. now that thats done proceed by all means.
ReplyAAAHHhHH sweet Cracked sex innuendo. anybody using these statements IRL gets massive cred.... (ESPECIALLY shaft hole) statements are as follows. "get shafted, (or) shaft yourSELF, (or maybe the good ol) shut up before you get shafted b***h, or the popular "FUCK you ya nazi, shut your shaft hole before i shaft you in the eye socket"
????
I guess you're one of those 'volunteers' from MKULTRA? Have fun /w the Unabomber!
I find it baffling that the gunpowder plot is on this list.
ReplyI thought it was well known, even if this is an American site.
I don't know if he meant to imply that it isn't well-known, but I'm fairly certain it is. I learned about it in various history classes and in my own reading, I've discussed it with multiple fellow Americans, and I have caught many references to it on TV and in reading.
Yeah....and I'd wager a bet that most Americans reading this article are already familiar with the Tuskegee experiments and MKULTRA. What does that have to do with anything? This isn't a list of "unknown conspiracies" -- the title is "7 insane conspiracies that actually happened"
anyone thumbing down anti-Scientology comments IS a scientologist
ReplyYour last name isn't McCarthy is it?
You BOTH get a Thumbs Up from me. So there's that.
Well that "disturbingly well" from Operation Snow White must have gone wrong at some point, since well, it didnt work at all on the getting respect or "we are totally not insane/scammers" part
Replydon't they still get a tax write off on the claim of a religion.
How did the gunpowder plot make it onto this list?! That's stuff you learn age 4 as an excuse for playing with fire and not getting into trouble. Did anyone ever look at all those guy fawkes masks and think guy fawkes was just a cartoon villain?
ReplyAmericans don't generally know about Guy Fawkes' Day or Bonfire Night. I only knew about it from having spent time in England as a child; after moving to America, I never ONCE heard a single word about it until I was an adult, and especially after all those V for Vendetta masks.
Human rights abuses in Iran were not caused by the West, they're caused by ignorant, backwards, barbaric arab pigs.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesIranians aren't Arabs moron.
while HailAnts is clearly an ethnocentric jackass, you can't call him a moron for thinking iranians are arabs. they're the only country in that entire area that isn't part of the arab league; it's a pretty common mistake, at least in america.
but to clarify, iran is not an arab country because: 1) the official language is persian, not arabic, 2) most of iran is shiite muslim and not sunni, and 3) they were the only country not conquered by the arabs and thus were not infiltrated/pillaged and maintain their cultural distinctness. etc, etc.
"Arab" refers to a distinct ethno-linguistic group. Two of the five Shi'a majority countries in the world are Arab states (Iraq, Bahrain), and Lebanon (another Arab country) has an influential Shi'a minority. Additionally, the Persians were ruled by Arabs from the time of Uthman ibn Affan (7th century AD) to the disintegration of Abbasid power in the 9th and 10th centuries. Persian culture was revived by dynasties like the Samanids (who were of Central Asian origin), and later, the Seljuks, who were actually Turks. Additionally, a majority of the world's Sunni Muslims are non-Arabs.
With all due respect, you know only a little more about the Persian people than our ethnocentric friend here.
Iranian people are not Arabs, HailAnts. They're Aryan. So you're basically insulting your fellow white people, you ignorant redneck.
Ahmedev, your comment was absolutely fascinating. Thank you for the enlightenment.
Reply"a bomb inside Hitler's conference room with a remote detonator." I always heard it was a timer
wifi76, yes, it wasn't remote, it was a timed fuse that Stauffenberg used. Since he only had one arm, he could only arm half of what he had, because people were pounding on the door and rushing him. This is one of the reasons the plot failed to get Hitler.