6
A Wedding Section Written Exclusively For The Benefit Of Awful People
To make it into the NYT's wedding section, either you or your spouse (or both of you, ideally) had better be a fashion designer, a ballerina, or an actual Marquise. These pages are dripping with stories of the wealthiest, most privileged people in the world wooing each other, and every other word of it is a grievance etched on the tombstone of a French king. Consider this likely pair:
The New York Times
The New York Times
Oh, lovely. We're sure Benjamin appreciated having a custom Seize sur Vingt tuxedo when he was debating which of his nostrils to pick for dinner. Other details of this orgy included how the couple first bonded on a trip to Ibiza with 25 of their closest friends, how their wedding guests included Paris Hilton and Adrien Brody, and how they once got into a minor disagreement over where to put a Gerard van den Berg chair, a trendy La-Z Boy that typically sells for thousands of dollars.
Gerard van den Berg
Doesn't look like much, but it's stuffed entirely with hundred-dollar bills.
Look, wealthy people have every right to throw fancy weddings. But when you get the newspaper to rub our faces in it like this, you inch just that little bit closer to becoming the villains in a young adult dystopia.
But don't worry -- their extreme wealth hasn't caused them to forget how to treat working-class life like a novelty:
The New York Times