People Won't Stop Making Out With Oscar Wilde's Tomb
We've all been there: Alone at the gravestone of a beloved icon, compelled by our love of our idol and our hot, wet loins to go ahead and slap a kiss on the monument marking the spot where our hero's bones are decaying.
Unfortunately, back in the 1990s, a fan of Oscar Wilde had that very natural and normal compulsion, but slapped on some lipstick before she (or he) kissed Wilde's tomb in Paris. Then someone else came along and decided to join the fun with a kiss of their own. Then someone else joined the one-way kiss orgy. Decades later, Oscar Wilde's tomb looks like a baby after visiting a grandma convention:
In unrelated news, the oral herpes business in Paris is booming.
From that point forward, visiting the tomb of Oscar Wilde was deemed incomplete without a smooch. Eventually, some fans would leave hearts and hand-written love letters directly on the tomb until the grave began to resemble a high school heartthrob's senior yearbook.
"Have a great summer!"
Among the problems that arise from tourists sexually assaulting a tombstone is the fact that the monument is porous, which means lipstick grease sinks right into the stone itself. Groundskeepers wash the monument, more dummy kissers show back up to slap their saliva right back on it again. Decades of kisses, cleaning routines, and still more kisses have taken their toll on the tomb, degrading it to the point that repairs were utterly impossible. Left with no other choice, authorities instituted a fine of 9,000 pounds (or $12,000) to be issued to anyone caught doing the deed and idiots are still making out with the rock.