The news reads like an encyclopedia of worst-case scenarios. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

american afa family lassociation A conservative Christian activist group has gathered more than 1 million signatures for their petition to boycott TAR

THE PUNSHER IS COMING TO NETFLIX. The show will star Jon Bernthal, who played the antihero in the second season of the streaming service's popular ser

Source: Screenrant

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/3)

Source: Yahoo News

A SMALL ANIMAL, POSSIBLY A WEASEL OR MARTEN, CAUSED CERN'S LARGE HADRON COLLIDER IN SWITZERLAND TO GO OFFLINE AFTER IT CHEWED THROUGH A POWER CABLE. E

Source: NPR

A PENNSYLVANIA COURT HAS DECIDED THAT A CASE AGAINST BILL COSBY FOR A 2004 CRIMINAL SEX ASSAULT CAN PROCEED, DESPITE HIS CLAIM THAT A DEAL HE MADE WIT

comcast NBC UNIVERSAL HAS AGREED TO PURCHASE DREAMWORKS ANIMATION SKG FOR $41 PER SHARE, FOR A TOTAL OF $3.8 BILLION. HW WE THAIN YEUSR DRAGON SHREK A

Source: CNBC

Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige praised the recent partnership with Sony Pictures for the upcoming Spider-Man: MAVEL Homecoming movie... TM S T U

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (5/3)

Source: AP

AN OREGON MAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER ALLEGEDLY TIPPING HIS PROSTITUTE WITH A GALAGO. The bush baby had been reported stolen from Zany Zoo Pets, along with

U.K. JUNIOR DOCTORS (those with less than 10 years of experience) ARE ON AN ALL-OUT STRIKE. It's the first such strike in the history of Britain's Nat

Source: Yahoo News

MITSUBISHI MOTORS SAYS IT FALSIFIED FUEL TESTS FOR 25 YEARS. The automaker admitted that it inflated fuel efficiency numbers for popular compact vehic

Source: CNN

THE CITY OF CLEVELAND HAS AGREED TO PAY A $6 MILLION SETTLEMENT FOR THE WRONGFUL DEATH OF TAMIR RICE, the boy who Was shot by police while playing wit

Source: ABC 15

A STATE OF EMERGENCY WAS DECLARED AFTER ANTI-GOVERNMENT PROTESTERS STORMED THE GREEN ZONE IN BAGHDAD. Followers of Shiite cleric Mugtada al-Sadr breac

Source: CNN

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Deep inside us all -- behind our political leanings, our moral codes, and our private biases -- there is a cause so colossally stupid that we surprise ourselves with how much we care. Whether it's toilet paper position, fedoras on men, or Oxford commas, we each harbor a preference so powerful we can't help but proselytize to the world. In this episode of the Cracked podcast, guest host Soren Bowie is joined by Cody Johnston, Michael Swaim, and comedian Annie Lederman to discuss the most trivial things we will argue about until the day we die. Get your tickets here!

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