Watching the news, it's clear that the real world is a lot like the Star Wars universe, in the sense that there are lots of people getting limbs hacked off by religious extremists. No reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important headline while maintaining their sanity, so we have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).

WU-TANG CLAN'S ONE-OF-A-KINDS SECRET ALBUM WAS PURCHASED FOR $2 MILLION BY MARTIN SHKRELI, THE MOST HATED C.E.O: IN AMERICA. To be fair, the deal had

VAPING ISN'T AS SAFE AS YOU THOUGHT... DIACETYL, a chemical with a known link to severe respiratory disease that is used to give e cigarettes differen

LIONSGATE Vice Chairman Michael Burns has hinted that they may be continuing THE HIUNGER GAMES FRANCHISE ...WITH PREQUELS. He gave no specific details

Source: Variety

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/15)

DOUGLAS TOMPKINS, FOUNDER OF THE NORTH FACEI APPAREL COMPANY, DIED TRAGICALLY from hypothermia at the age of 72, after his kayak capsized on General C

Source: Slate

Sycamore Township, Ohio: A resident named JASEN DIXON has once again been ordered by officials.... TO REMOVE A ZOMBIE NATIVITY SCENE FROM HIS FRONT YA

Source: Yahoo News

A SUNKEN SHIP CONTAINING POTENTIALLY BILLIONS IN LOST TREASURE HAS BEEN DISCOVERED OFF THE COAST OF COLOMBIA. The Spanish galleon San Jose sank in 170

Investigators believe that a 22-year-old man named Matthew Riggins WAS KIMFP BY AN AhIGATOR WHILE HIDING FROM THE POLICE, after possibly committing bu

AN AUSTRIAN MAN TURNED HIS APARTMENT INTO AN ILLECAL MARIJUANA WAREHOUSE CONTAINING 734 CANNABIS PLANTS. He was arrested after a police dog caught the

FORMER PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER SAYS THE NEW CANCER DRUG KEYTRUDA HAS SHRUNK HIS BRAIN TUMORS COMPLETELY. Unlike drug treatments that attempt to boost t

Source: NBC News

BELJING ISSUED ITS FIRSTEVER RED ALERT FOR AIR POLLUTION. With fine particulate matter levels 10 times higher than the WHO'S recommendations, schools

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