That's not what this "top scientist" claimed at all, but "claims aliens might be real and might look like humans" is a headline that could start with either "top scientist" or "first-grader" and who's going to click on the latter? At this point, the media's "confirmed" alien life so many times that we're surprised every bar doesn't look like the Star Wars cantina.
20th Century Fox
Endless arguments would erupt over who bought a round of shots first.
The Philae Comet Isn't Even Close To Having Microscopic Life On It
European Space Agency / Rosetta / NAVCAM
This is a story even the most skeptical amongst you might have bought. We recently landed a probe on a comet, some cool and complicated science-y stuff was found, and the headlines are tame with their "mays" and their "coulds." Seems responsible, right?
"Alien Smurfs confirmed."
Oh, but what's this story the Guardian links to right after their headline?
"Damn you, Gargamel!"
It turns out that the vast majority of relevant scientists disagree that life on the comet is a possibility, and the equipment from the lander -- which could easily pick up life if it was present -- backs their opinion. Furthermore, the main proponent of claims to life, Chandra Wickramasinghe, apparently uses his incredibly-smart-person name to hide the fact that two other claims of extraterrestrial life he's made in the past are widely regarded to be utter nonsense. One scientist commented that the publications that broke this story "disgraced themselves today with the 'top scientists' argue case for life on comet' piece," which is the academic equivalent of "Y'all are some dumbass motherfuckers."
One scientist took the comet landing as an opportunity to espouse his pet theory, and the media rolled with it even though every other relevant academic disagreed, because the media thinks the word "scientist" means "we can print whatever the hell he says without double-checking." It's the same logic your uncle uses to "disprove" climate change by repeating the claims of the single fringe scientist who doesn't believe in it.
George Doyle/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"It's not possible to cover the entire world with farms and ... oh, warming."
Look, Discovery, we get it. You're already trying to educate the world on mermaids and megalodons, because the allure of tricking readers with nonsense is tempting. But repeating some bullshit claims about how life might exist on a comet ignores the fact that we landed a probe on a goddamn comet that's hurtling through the depths of space at an incomprehensible speed. Let's try to celebrate incredible accomplishments, instead of ruin them with nonsense, OK? We promise we won't make fun of your next mermaid show if you can stick to that.
You can read more from Mark at his website, which may have been visited by aliens.
Also check out 6 Reasons We're Closer To Discovering Aliens Than You Think and The 14 Most Eerily Convincing Signs Of Conspiracies And Aliens.
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