Note: Children will still require nourishment.
You see them all the time on Maury and Donahue: fat, fat children, barely able to lift that last buffalo wing to their fleshy maws. And we know what you're thinking: why not me? Well, believe it or not, you too can have the Shamu on the block. All you need is a little dedication, elastic diapers, and some pages from the Chunky Kidz™ recipe guide. Is your child sick of macaroni and cheese? Why not macaroni and cake batter? Carrot sticks not cutting it? Try a Twinkie or two with a little peanut butter smeared on the top…mmm, good.
The advantages of a fat baby are numerous. Besides always having a ready conversation piece, a fat baby can survive even the harshest of winters, if, say, one were to accidentally leave them under a bench at the park or in the crawlspace behind the downstairs bathroom. Even if forgotten at home during a long trip abroad, their luxurious coat of baby blubber provides both warmth and sustenance, either for them or the family dog, whichever goes insane with hunger first. A final warning for those going the fat baby route: massive, sloppy dumps are virtually unavoidable.
Anal caulking is strongly encouraged.