The Top 8 'Oh Shit!' Moments from Mixed Martial Arts
Wrong type of shit. UFC 15: Mark Kerr vs. Ranger Stott |
In Mixed Martial Arts, a fighter can be knocked out instantly, slowly beaten into a puddle, or submitted from out of the blue. As a sport, it is the leading generator of oh shit moments, which is any moment that makes you say that. Here are the top eight.
Due to the nature of expletives, this was a difficult list to put together. "Oh shit!" can mean so many things. I'm terrible at examples, but say you're at brunch, you might shout, "Oh shit, that brunch ghost has a knife!" Whereas someone else might be jumping out of a birthday cake going, "Ohhh, shit! Which one of you fellas is having a birthday party? Oh shit-- Grandpa?! Oh... shit, I bet your grandson leaping from a cake with his dick out is the kind of memory that comes with a Get Out of Alzheimer's Free card."
Because the expression has such varied usage, this will not be a simple Top Something list. Instead, I will list only the best MMA moment from eight separate uses of oh shit.
Oh shit!PRIDE Shockwave: Bob Sapp vs. Rodrigo Nogueira
Bob "The Beast" Sapp is 400 pounds, and if 300 pounds of it aren't pure steroids, then someone has got to be fucking kidding. Going into his fight with Nogueira, his MMA record was 2-0 against two Japanese fighters 1/3 his size. Both fights were identical: TKO via ape spaz, followed by a post-fight interview of, "Paant! Wheeeeze! Paaaant!"
Antonio Rodrigo Minotauro Nogueria is widely regarded as one of the best heavyweight submission experts ever. So this was not so much a matchup between top contenders as it was a field test of jiu jitsu against wild animals. So no one was ready for the oh shit! when Nogueria shot for a single leg and Bob Sapp gut-wrenched him up from the mat and fucking PILEDRIVED him.
Nogueria is legally unkillable, so he shrugged it off, but the move was so awesome that Sapp wanted to relive the moment at all costs. This changed after three more failed, desperate piledriver attempts, when he mostly just wanted a nap. Nogueria won a few minutes later with a straight armbar.
To the Japanese, this was like beating Jesus in a fish-making contest. Bob Sapp was the center of Japan's media. He had a music video, endorsed hundreds of products, and their tiny people lined up for the honor of being eaten by him. He was the Japanese equivalent of the '85 Bears, Crocodile Dundee, Muhammad Ali, and the California Raisins all in one.
He was making so much money that he didn't give a fuck. He used to joke that he could corner the ass-wiping market tomorrow by putting his face on one brand of toilet paper. If there was a paycheck involved, he did whatever. He ate bananas and acted like a gorilla on Japanese TV, which in the black community is like beggin' whitey's pardon and askin' if a softshoe would be to his likin'. It was racist to a point that even Bryant Gumbel called him an Uncle Tom. And Bryant Gumbel is so white that he clutches his purse tighter when he passes by President Obama.
Oh, SHIT!Pride Critical Countdown 2004: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Kevin Randleman
Fedor Emelianenko is a merciless knockout machine that emerged from the ruins of war torn Stalingrad to avenge the angry dead. Kevin Randleman is a wrestler whose body was kidnapped by science and mostly replaced with horse DNA. After an early takedown by Randleman, Fedor scrambled to his feet and gave Randleman his back. It is stupidly inadequate to say that what followed next was the greatest suplex in the suplexiverse.
Randleman brought Fedor up in a perfect arc, jumped off his feet, and trebuchet'ed the weight of both of them directly on the point of Fedor's head. It was like he was trying to make dinosaurs extinct again. When wheelchair salesmen watch it, their eyeballs turn to dollar signs.
But instead of bravely learning to walk again years later, Fedor swept him, got side control, punched him in the head 18 times, jumped to north-south, and locked in a kimura. All in the span of 45 seconds. For baseball fans, this is like getting your eye knocked out by a fastball, then hitting 16 home runs with one swing.
After the fight, a reporter asked Fedor how he was able to recover from such a devastating throw, and through a translator Fedor explained, "It didn't affect me. I train to fall great distances." Oh, shit.Watch the fight on Youtube.
Ohhh shit!UFC 4: Joe Son vs. Keith Hackney
In the early days of the UFC, there were no rules! Snarl! Except asterisk: you weren't allowed to bite people or drag them around by their eye or mouth holes. This lack of rules usually led to a wrestler throwing his opponent down and clumsily headbutting them until there was nothing but a bloody crater. But in UFC 4, Keith Hackney's fists painted a no-rules masterpiece on the canvas of Joe Son's balls.
After the fight went to the ground, Keith Hackney passed to side mount. Or as it was known back then, hey-get-up-and-do-karate-you-queers position. Joe Son confusedly held onto a kind-of guillotine headlock which left Keith's right arm free to do whatever it wanted. And it wanted to pound balls.
Keith's bareknuckled hand repeatedly and single-mindedly drove itself into Joe Son's inadequate cup. The fact that it took over six blows for Joe Son to tap out can mean only one thing: vagina.
Joe Son never quite recovered from this. Using his own Jo Son Do fighting system, which I think is just Korean for "rape," he lost every fight in his career, one of them while wearing a thong over his jockstrap. What a Fashion Don't! That's like your dick wearing socks with sandals.
And that wasn't his only fashion faux pas, girlfriend. Sometimes he came to the ring in dramatic 70's eyeshadow. He looked like a chubby alien girl trying to get Captain Kirk's attention. Captain's Log: Not enough space beers in the universe, homo. Captain's Secret Log: No one must know the terrible mistake I made after 15 space beers.
There's more to Joe Son than his caved-in balls and lady's makeup, though: his love of Christ, throwing a shoe at Austin Powers, and of course Joe Son Do. Which now according to the state of California, actually is rape. I think Keith Hackney might have been a time traveller who went back to preemptively destroy Joe Son's balls like you'd kill Hitler as a baby.
Watch the fight on Youtube, at least the ohhh shit! part.
Ohshit.Fight Festival 12: Gilbert Yvel vs. Atte Backman
One of the greatest MMA knockouts is Gilbert Yvel high kicking Gary Goodridge unconscious in the only move of the fight. Atte Backman must have seen this too, because his fight strategy against Yvel was leaping onto him like a toy koala bear on a pencil.
While Gilbert struggled to get free of Atte's pointless death grip, the two of them almost toppled over the ropes in a Greco clinch. In cases like this, the referee breaks the fighters up and tries to reset them as close as possible to how they were. This was fine with Atte, who was here to hug, but Gilbert was here to punch faces. A comical argument ensued as the referee and Atte tried to get the perfect hug reinstated while Gilbert kept pushing them away and getting in a boxing stance.
Everyone involved had wills of iron.
"Hug me, Yvel!"
"Fuck you, Atte!"
"Hug him, Yvel!"
Fuck you, ref!"
Suddenly, Mr. Yvel thought of the perfect win-win situation to these guys getting in the way of his face punching: punching the referee in the face! Eureka, and knockout. And just to show that this wasn't some kind of accident, he kicks him when he's down.
It's situations like this that test a man. What would you do if you saw a trained fighter attacking a helpless man and you're the only one who can save him? Well, this is my favorite part: if you're Atte Backman, you immediately run for the ropes and get out of the ring! "You're on your own, ref! That motherfucker's crazy! You can kiss Atte's ass!"
Watch the "fight" on Youtube.Ohhh, shiiit!UFC 43: Marvin Eastman vs. Vitor Belfort
Vitor's first four fights in the UFC were all the same. He ran in, punched his opponent in the face 70,000 times in ten seconds, and then his corner would cheer "jiu jitsu! jiu jitsu!" in victory. I think it must be portuguese for "face doctor! face doctor!" But whatever it means, Marvin Eastman should have been ready and should have brought helmet.
One minute in, a gash opens up on Eastman's head so big that you could look in and see what he was thinking. Much like the virgin Mary appearing on a piece of toast, his forehead conjured the image of Joe Son's knuckle-beaten vagina. It was so wide it had time zones. The doctor stitching him up had to put the needle in one end, then take a boat to the other. Needless to say, they stopped the fight so someone could cover the awful thing with some panties.
This was another difficult category to pick, since I also said a similar ohhh, shiiit! during PRIDE FC 1, where dick kickboxer Branko Cikatic illegally booted Ralph White in the head when he was down. Ralph, victor by DQ, immediately grew a silly putty egg on his forehead that ballooned into a pantyhose egg before our very eyes. To make it stranger, his cornerman was Dave "Apollo" Cook, who played a douchebag in the documentary Choke, couldn't stop fucking with it. As the bump grew and grew, "Apollo" was poking, rubbing, and polishing it like a kid with a dead squirrel.
If I hadn't specified MMA moments, this spot on the list would have gone to the K-1 match of Jerome LeBanner vs. Cyril Abidi. Something... evil happened during the first round, and it caused LeBanner's forehead to swell to full elephant man. You wouldn't know by looking, but LeBanner spent the entire fight kicking Abidi's ass. Unfortunately, it takes exactly the same amount of time to kick a Frenchman's ass as it does to gestate a forehead pregnancy to full term.
Watch this fight on Youtube.
Oh shit.UFC 2: Fred Ettish vs. Johnny Rhodes
UFC 2 was crazy. It was a sixteen man tournament, meaning you had to beat four guys in one night. And when you have sixteen men, who thinks to bring backups? This led to a problem when one fighter couldn't continue in the quarterfinals.
But there is no problem that can't be solved with Ettish. Fred Ettish was backstage, enjoyed karate, and never doesn't have a karate outfit with him. He emerged as a replacement fighter, still putting his gi on, while the announcer Rich "G-Man!" Goins struggled to read his fighting style from a card. "Shoren ee riimatsu... goren? Kenpo karate!"
He faced Johnny Rhodes, a doughy but tough kickboxer. The bell rings and Ettish strikes a pose. He throws a snap kick exactly like the picture in his Bruce Tegner karate book. It hits exactly where he threw it and he, Johnny Rhodes, and the people watching from home all say the same thing: oh shit. A guy who trains with nine year olds at the YMCA is in a real fight.
The fight was a perfect storm of catastrophe. Johnny was just clumsy enough that he couldn't finish Ettish off. He beat Ettish into a meatloaf while he curled into variations on the fetal position and tried to somehow pull it together long enough to personally invent how to fight. The referee thought he was only there to check people for ninja stars, so he had no idea it was his responsibility to save someone from this type of savagery. He was only there to enforce no rules! Mercifully, Johnny Rhodes stopped dropping fist bombs on Fred Ettish's head long enough to give it a hug, and Fred Ettish had a chance to tap out to the "choke."
Fred Ettish never appeared in the UFC again until minutes later when the bloody remains of his face popped up behind Johnny Rhodes during the post-fight interview. It was ignored by Rhodes himself, and the production crew.
Watch the legendary fight on Youtube.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!PRIDE 21: Don Frye vs. Yoshihiro Takayama
Don Frye looks like an old west sheriff, and Takayama looks like Japan tried to make their own Hulk Hogan out of juiced grapes. When they faced off, the two of them somehow, without speaking, managed to come to some kind of gentleman's agreement. They decided the only move each of them would use is grabbing the opponent's head with one hand, and punching it over and over with the other.
Within seconds, it turned into a sublime combination of ultra violence and slapstick. As they pound, pound, pounded each other's skulls, you could see all the faces in the crowd light up with joy. Grown men, little girls-- they'd been waiting their whole lives for this one perfect moment! Your brain damage does not happen in vain, Frye and Takayama!
Watch this chess match unfold on Youtube.
Oh shit?PRIDE Bushido 7: Charles "Krazy Horse" Bennett vs. Yoshiro Maeda
"Krazy Horse" isn't a cute nickname. Charles Bennett is a legitimate lunatic. And when he's not strangling people professionally and recreationally, he loves to do celebratory backflips off the ring ropes. Almost always with near-death results.
I... think that's what he had in mind when he knocked out Maeda. He cheered and ran straight for the ropes, but in his excitement, he forgot to run the idea through his head. Without cutting his momentum, he flew right over the ropes and into what I imagine is either oblivion or alligators. We'll never know. Once it's clear that Krazy Horse is falling to his death, the director cuts away to a shot of Bennett's downed opponent. We're left to assume that Charles Bennett... is lost forever.
Watch his leap of faith on Youtube.
Oh shi-- OH SHIT!TUF 4 Finale: Scott Smith vs. Pete Sell
Three minutes into the second round, Pete Sell hits Scott Smith with a huge left to the body. Most people reading have taken a body shot or had the wind knocked out of them. But what many people don't understand is what it's like to get hit in the liver. It's the liver's job to filter toxins out of your body. And when somebody's left hand or foot slams into it, it's like every cocktail you ever drank, every poisonous insect that crawled in your mouth while you slept... they're all released back into your body at the same time. The end result is a lot like getting knocked out, only you're awake for it. Your arms and legs stop working and you see an Indian with an extra horse beckoning you into the woods.
This happened to Scott Smith, and he doubled over like a cartoon. Pete Sell was stunned by his own bad assedness for a moment, then rushed in to finish his helpless opponent, purely as a technicality. But Scott! Smith! Was! Not! Done!!! He threw an overhand right into Sell's face that removed a year of elementary school from his brain. The two collapsed on each other Rocky II style, one unconscious and the other incapacitated. The ref declared it a knockout win for Smith, exactly zero seconds before he rolled onto his back and waited to join his brothers in Valhalla. Oh, shit!Watch this fight on Youtube.
The only thing I hate about these articles, is that when I really want to see the videos after reading their excellent summaries, they're nearly always gone
ReplyI agree. But you can find half of them with a copy and paste. All hope is not lost.
At UFC 2, the ref wasn't actually allowed to stop the fight. He refused to do the next show unless he was allowed to.
ReplyYour arms and legs stop working and you see an Indian with an extra horse beckoning you into the woods.
ReplyBest line ever.
Totally agreed.
oh my GOD great article, that kung fu guy... that was just painful.
ReplyI love how well written this article is! This is why I read cracked :) in an unrelated point, f**k Youtube, or post alternates...please?
Replyonly one of the videos worked!!! damn copyright claims
ReplyIn the "translation" of the first youtube vid, did anyone read the words and think it was Charlie Sheen?
ReplyAwesome article! More MMA articles like this should be written!
ReplyAfter seeing all this fights all I got to say is DAMN, Ron Simmons style.
ReplyMost of the Youtube links no longer work.
Replydoesn't matter, they're still out there. go to youtube and search for "Scott Smith vs. Pete Sell" for example.
In the same vein of Scott Smith vs. Pete Snell re: liver shots, check out some Bas Rutten fights. This guy invented the liver knock out. The best was vs Jason DeLucia.
ReplyFor the last 5 years all we've heard is how boxing is dead and how MMA rules all (usually written with the accompanying "Your shit's all retarded" type insults).
Reply Hide All See All 11 RepliesI went to the first two UFCs in Denver. Still, I don't think a great UFC fight is as interesting as a good boxing match. Especially if ubber-douce Joe Rogan is announcing. Boxing has Jim Lampley's elagent prose. MMA has Joe Rogan screaming, "This guy is an animal. He's an animal out of the cage and he's an animal in the cage. What an animal!" All I hear is how MMA is kinetic chess. And how you have to do all these other things you're not required to do in boxing. Okay, fine. I'll play along. That logic then goes something like this:
*Boxers can only use fists.
*MMA can use fists, wrestling and fucking kicks too!!
*Therefore MMA is clearly superior
*And boxing will die
And if I'm wrong, let me just digress for a minute.
*Soccer players can only use their feet
*Football (or rugby) has not only kicking but running and FUCKING tackles, man!
*Therefore Rugby and football are clearly superior
*And soccer will die
Oops. Now, I'm no apologist for soccer or the world for that matter but still, facts are facts. You can't argue that the World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the history of the world. Sure, I agree that rugby and football are ten times more appealing to watch but what you cannot argue is that soccer or boxing are somehow doomed because they actually take the time to put some fucking limits on the amount of carnage that is inflicted on the athletes. The idea that boxing and MMA can't coexist is absurd! In fact, without boxing, MMA wouldn't even be around. Boxers actually teach MMArtists how to punch, the use of balance and parry, joust and endurance cardiopulmonary conditioning. Because they are the best in the world at those respective skills.
The notion that boxing is dead is a bunch of Dana White's pyschobabble bullshit when, in reality, his product is realing. I'll prove my point again, with facts: Randy Couture left UFC for a year over a lousy 250K. Swear to God. The most marketable figure in the history of the sport was in a pissing contest over a sum of money so great that it wouldn't buy you a third floor walk-up in Harlem. On the other side, the suffering boxing world? Yeah, its two biggest names, Manny Pacquaio and Floyd Mayweather earned in the last two years sums of 40 million and 50 million respectively off fight purses ALONE.
Boxing likewise has learned and benefited from competition. It has put out more competitive cards and the days of Roy Jones knocking out Aussie trash collectors (true story) are over. The competition has been good for boxing and MMA is carving out a niche of its own.
But please, for your sake, don't argue that MMA is a better sport just because it's got tatted, white, porn-fuckers dropping f-bombs. Stop telling us it's "cooler" than boxing because there is wrestling involved (yeah, I'm sure Floyd Mayweather knows NOTHING about balance). Please save yourself the embarrassment of calling Joe Rogan "A real sportscaster". If Tila Tequila had a black belt and a cleft asshole, she'd be Joe Rogan.
I've never heard of anyone saying that MMA would replace Boxing. I'd however, like to point out that a professional MMA fighter, Muay Thai fighter, or kickboxer would be more likely to win over a practitioner of Western Boxing. To not use your body to it's fullest extent is asinine, and as any Muay Thai fighter would be able to tell you, the Boxing position leaves you extremely venerable to getting swept, or hit in the most sensitive parts of the legs. Also getting kicked in the kidney really f**king blows.
mma is more poplular now but remember lots of mma fighters that are good have boxing skills.im prefer mma but i dont waan argue its not betteer i just prefer it. the ground game in mma is gay if they dont know what there doing.also not just boxers teach them muay thai and other martial arts are way more used but boxing is still a good sport.
@ pysclone411. A professional boxer would lose to a mixed martial artist if the fight used MMA rules. A mixed martial artist would lose in a fight using boxing rules. At the end of the day, neither sport is real fighting, they are just sports. Also boxing is more practical skill for self defense because how many people are willing to spend money on the the expensive mma training? With boxing all you need is a pair of boxing gloves,a speed bag, and a punching bag. With mma you need boxing gloves, the special UFC gloves,various types of bags for kicks and punches,its pretty expensive.
Manny pacquiao and mayweather keep ducking each other. It's so common in boxing. The fighters rule the promotion. And when promoting boxing fights, either they get big names or the event is dead. I don't like to wait for 1 and a half years for a match featuring manny pacquiao. I like the way UFC gives two potential title fights for their champs.
How are neither of them real fighting? I do MMA and I have used it in fights with drunken a*****es more than once. Extremely effective. The point is that if you got an MMA fighter and a boxer to fight, with no rules, the MMA fighter would win. Also MMA isn't that expensive. You don't actually buy the bags yourself so.. yeah.
I think the important thing here is "Fad vs. Established"
MMA is a fad, which has lost popularity since its inception. It's more a niche sport these days. Boxing is still a HUGE draw, and Heavyweight fighters in Boxing will still draw enormous crowds and paycheques.
Honestly, I'd much rather watch boxers hitting each other in the head, than watch a modern day MMA fight. You see, in the early days of UFC, there were no rules. It was great. They'd fight till someone won. Then the rules came. Now when you watch a MMA fight, you have to assume that three-quarters of it will be two scantily clad men hugging each other. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I'm just not into it. I'd rather watch two men hitting each other...
There's so much wrong with your post I am not sure where to begin: But let's try.
1)You're telling us that a fight that features kicking, punching, elbows, knees, wrestling and submissions isn't as exciting as boxing? Really, all I can say to this is what are you smoking and can I have some?
You claim people are saying MMA is superior to boxing. Well is that as a fighting system or popularity wise?
As a fighting style it is far superior. Until boxers start accepting challenges to step in the cage and fight the top MMA fighters like GSP Anderson Silva and Fedor (who has actually boxed since he was 6), MMA IS superior. And for your information MMA-ists have been challenging boxers since the turn of the century. Helio Gracie challenged Joe Louis to a NHB match and Louis declined.
Jim Lampley's elegant prose? He's an ignorant windbag like Bob Arum, who attacks MMA because it's taking fans away from boxing. And Al Liederman is a blind moron who needs to have his lips surgically removed from Felix Trinidads balls. Any moron who thinks Tito won the fight against Oscar De La Hoya should be strung up. That fight is the reason I haven't watched a boxing match in years. You think boxing doesn't have more than its share of idiots? Go listen to Bob Arums racist, h**ophobic rant against MMA. Too bad the old assbag doesn`t realise that GSP or Anderson would likely destroy any three of the best boxers in their weight class in seconds. All on the same night. And calling them unskilled h**osexuals? The top BJJ players or Judo players are as skilled at what they do as the top boxers are at boxing. What an ignorant, bitter old sack of crap.
Next: Soccer is popular because it's the sport of the POOR. People in third world nations can play soccer if they have a field and a ball. You seriously think poor people could afford to race motocross or play ice hockey? Soccer is the sorriest excuse for an exciting sport there is. It's popular for one reason: it cost almost nothing to play at the most basic levels..........
And as far as carnage: Don't even go there. Boxing is far more dangerous than MMA for several reasons:
1) in boxing quitting is not considered manly even when you're brain is hemmorhaging. That's just idiotic.
2) MMA fights can be won by submission which does not cause brain damage (chokes can cause some brain cells to die but no where near as much as having your head pounded on for 12 rounds by a guy with pillows on his hands). And the gloves in boxing actually make the damage worse than MMA's 4 oz gloves.
Where do you get that boxers are the "best in the world at those skills (balance or conditioning)? You think somehow a kickboxer needs to be taught balance from guys that never throw a strike with their feet? Yes, boxers help with MMA fighters with their boxing, but to suggest a boxer has better balance than a skilled kickboxer is laughable (or TKD, Karate, Muay Thai any style that includes kicking). Not to mention a gymnast. No athlete has better balance than a gymnast. And there are lots of athletes with equal or better cardio than boxers: Motocrossers, Soccer players, Water Polo (look it up, they have INSANE cardio) players and endurance runners/cyclists just to name a few. But then there are different energy systems involved in these sports.
And while Dana White is a massive douche (for reasons I'll leave alone) what do you mean by "realing"? Do you mean "reeling"? MMA is growing dude. In less than 20 years it has gone from obscure undergound sport to "one of the fastest growing sports in the world". While boxers still make more, it's just a matter of time before most top MMA stars are making millions in purse money. The sport is only 20 years old to most of the world. Also too many people still think it's human "c**k fighting" (even though it's safer than boxing) thanks to that douchebag John McCain. Look up "top ten most dangerous sports". Golf and Fishing are more dangerous than MMA (not even top ten).........
Boxing has too many paper titles. I think McDonalds even has a boxing title. And while there are several major MMA organisations, Dana is trying to alamgamate them all so one true champ can be crowned (he already bought out Pride and the WEC).
Your last paragraph is the most ignorant of all and mirrors the kind of ignorant trash spewed by jealous boxing fans and people like Lampley and Arum. In case you guys didn't notice, tons of MMA fighters are either black, Asian or South American. Whites probably make up less of the total than visible minorities. And WTF is with the Floyd/wrestling/balance thing? What was even the point of that? Are you suggesting knowledgable MMA people think wrestlers have balance and boxers don't? Where the hell did you get that? I would say you pulled it out of your ass, because I have NEVER heard that from anyone inside MMA (or even from MMA fans for that matter). I think most MMA fans might say MMA is cooler because there is a MUCH wider range of skills that are required to excel at it. In boxing you need to be a good boxer. In MMA you need to be good at BJJ, Wrestling or Judo, and some form of striking. How is that NOT cooler?
And lastly, Rogan at least has an intimate knowledge of the sport because he trains in BJJ and striking. What the hell does Al Liederman have besides poor vision and a big mouth?
You just sound like a bitter guy that is venting because boxers aren't the best fighters any more (they actually never were it's just that more people know it now).
And for Razar:
Where the hell do you get that MMA is a fad? Its popularity has grown steadily since it started. Your contention that its popularity is dying is utter garbage. Do your bloody research next time you want to say something that ignorant.
Since you forgot. Many of the early UFC fights were 30 minute long matches with the two combatants on the floor (go back and watch Taktarov-Severn or Shamrock-Gracie II). More uninformed ignorance from you. Now rules are in place to stand the fighters up when action on the ground stalls (which I don’t agree with since I am a BJJ purple belt). There is arguably more striking, and MORE SKILLED striking now than in the early days of the UFC.
I’d rather watch two men hitting each other with far more dynamic striking skills: punching, elbows, knees, back fists, superman punches, back kicks, front kicks, turning kicks, leg kicks, up kicks and of course Anthony Petis’s Matrix wall walk kick which was the most awesome thing to happen in any combat sport in this century, except maybe the Randleslam on Fedor in Pride or Ryo Chonan’s flying scissor sweep into a heel hook on Anderson Silva. Never gonna see that in boxing are you?
@BJJ: may very well the best rant I've ever read. Well said sir
What, NO Corey HIll?
Replywhats up with that guy who was getting punched in his testicles? Did he have surgery afterward or something?
ReplyNo lol, apparently he raped someone after a couple of years
Wow! This article is amazing.
ReplyFedor got dropped on his head and recovered like nothing even happened!
Aww man, I was hoping Jeremy Bullock would be in this one.
ReplyBryant Gumbel is so white that he clutches his purse tighter when he passes by President Obama.
Replymy throat fucking hurts from laughing at this
Read this months ago when it originally ran. It's just as funny today. Maybe the highest laughs-to-words ratio of any article I've read. Awesome.
ReplyYou should have had videos for all three fights of that tough decision.
Replygo forrest tonight ppv remember
Reply