The world is seemingly awash in talk about haters -- how they suck, why they suck, god do they ever suck, and so on. Some of our finest minds have offered a variety of advice on how to best deal them, ranging from the obvious all the way up to, "Shake shake shake shake shake."
That said, I've been drinking five shakes a day and it's still not helping.
I don't object to having celebrities tell me what to do, because I'm less of a person than they are. But I wondered if anyone with a little more wisdom had shared their thoughts on the subject. And it turns out they had! Famous people throughout history, who I'm now calling "hist-lebrities," have dealt with basically the same issues, and have offered some really useful insights on the subject, which I present to you below, my probable haters.
This is probably the most popular tactic these days, even amongst celebrities who advocate measures beyond trembling. The general idea is that if someone hates you, that's fine, and even expected. Haters, it's said, are going to dislike things. Hating is in their nature, the only thing they know how to do, the first thing they think of when they wake up.
"THESE CORN FLAKES ARE THE WORST CEREAL EVER. I HOPE YOU GET FIRED, CORN FLAKES."
So just ignore them! Get on with your own business, whether it's working, or making art, or just banging rocks together. Various public figures have been advocating basically this approach for hundreds of years.
"The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews." -- William Faulkner.
"I've been reading reviews of my stories for twenty-five years, and can't remember a single useful point in any of them, or the slightest good advice." -- Anton Chekhov
There's a lot of logic to this advice. You can't satisfy everyone, and listening to critics and haters can depress you, distract you from the original intent of your work, or just waste your time. Anything you might do to satisfy or address their complaints is as likely to just create new haters as it is to satisfy the original ones. And the worst of them derive more enjoyment from hating you than from seeing you do better, anyways.
Marc Dufresne/iStock/Getty Images
His parents were cousins, his wife is his shoe, and he has several flawlessly reasoned and spelled opinions to share with you.
And in a few specific cases, ignoring your haters is absolutely mandatory. Authors are always told to never engage with their critics or otherwise respond to negative reviews. This just never, ever works out well for the author, usually making them look like a petty idiot. Just let the haters go on hating, the refrain goes, while you go on doing great things that are hated.
4Listen To Them
The problem with ignoring your haters is: what if they're right? It's hard to diagnose flaws in ourselves and our own works; we're full of blind spots and defense mechanisms that prevent us from perceiving our work clearly.
Mike Powell/Photodisc/Getty Images
He thinks he's hitting his dad.
We can counterbalance that tendency by relying on trusted friends and colleagues to provide feedback and check our blind spots for us, but if they already like us, there's a good chance they are themselves a little blind to our flaws. There's nothing like feedback from your actual audience to see all of those, and for better or worse, haters usually are part of your audience. For that reason, more than a few historical figures have advocated doing the exact opposite of ignoring haters: unignoring them.
"Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things." -- Winston Churchill.
"It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us. This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good heart whatever they might have to say." -- Mahatma Gandhi
"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses." -- Johannes Kepler
Admittedly, this is starting to blur the lines between critic and hater, and we should probably try to draw a distinction between the two. A critic is someone who genuinely wouldn't mind if you or your work got better. A hater is only interested in the criticism (also slopping around in their own shit), and would never be satisfied if your work improved.
Hill Street Studios/Blend
"YOU SUCK, DAMIAN."
But from the perspective of you, the hated, how easy is it to tell the two apart? Guessing at the motivations of your critics/haters is tough, and might not really be worthwhile when dealing with YouTube commenters or the like. I'm not by any means suggesting you listen to them all intently, or for that matter, that you ever read a YouTube comment. But that gut instinct to dismiss all haters without considering their words? That might be tossing out useful information as well.