Cracked Columnists

2 Cracked Shirts for Superman Fans

What would you do with superpowers? If you're the ordinary citizens in our new series, Antiheroes, you'd take that invisibility/ice breath/heat vision and say, "Thanks, but no thanks, mysterious comet that gave me these abilities and probably also riddled me with cancer." It takes a special kind of person/alien/reptile to save us all in weird ways, and this week's new shirts celebrate them in all their off-putting glory.

Great art asks the big questions. And thanks to Cracked fan Joel Trottier, here's your answer to a question over a century in the making. And yet ... what's going on here? Is Superman responding to a cry of distress from someone suffering from Wavy Line Syndrome? Or is that freak screaming because Superman's arrived? As much as Supes seems like a fun dude, don't forget Lex Luthor's surprisingly convincing argument that he's an alien demigod bending humanity to his will. Either way, this shirt lets everyone know you're a Brainiac of the visual art world.

Where fine art raises questions, comics pummel those questions in musclebound splash pages. So this shirt of ours is a lot more clear-cut: Superman destroyed a classic 1938 car for no good reason, and the car is finally taking its revenge. It's available in blue or asphalt, and we think it's cheaper and cooler than Nic Cage's former most prized possession.

We all had childhood dinosaur phases. Were they just an early iteration of our ongoing superhero phases? T. rexes had arms with Killer Croc-like strength, and they certainly weren't the Cretaceous' only badasses. We first offered this design by Cracked regular AprilPi in gray, and now we're proud to combine saurian might with Texan Alamosity on a nice clean white tee. Get it while it's still available, because some traditions go back hundreds of years, and not enough of them are on badass dino shirts.

Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

The DC universe isn't just Superman, Jurassic Park isn't just T. rex stomping/chomping everything, and we're not the only T-shirt makers out there. We scour the Internet weekly for new shirts you might like and put the best five here to remind ourselves that we've got to work harder if we're going to be the top hero/lizard in the tee-printing world.

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Available at TeeFury

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Available at Design By Humans

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Available at Naolito

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Available at BustedTees

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Available at Headline Shirts

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