It's easy to see why so many crappy licensed games get made -- your cheap, slapped-together fighting game is going to sell way more copies if you can stick the title Fight Club on it. The problem is that sometimes the programmers are apparently in such a rush to finish the game before the deadline that they don't actually have a chance to watch the show or movie they're basing the game on. So, you wind up with deeply confusing titles like these ...
6 Home Improvement Features Tim Allen Fighting Dinosaurs, Aliens, Sanity
In the 1990s, Home Improvement was popular enough that it made sense to release a game based on it -- at least until you stopped to think about it and asked yourself, "How do you make a game out of a sitcom about Tim Allen dicking around with tools?" Absolute Entertainment answered that question with a decisive "You don't." So they made this instead:
No, that isn't an illustration for our fan-fiction novella about Tim Allen seducing dinosaurs: There really was a Home Improvement game for the Super Nintendo that sent Allen's character on an adventure across exotic landscapes, all the while grappling with a drill and shooting nail guns and Harry Potter spells at pterodactyls. Apparently the programmers were halfway through the game when they found out Home Improvement isn't that Spielberg movie set in a park.
"Sorry, we got distracted by the Heidi motion capture tests."
Astoundingly, there's an explanation for this madness, and it has nothing to do with someone suffering a cocaine relapse: Tim is on the set of his show-within-a-show, Tool Time, when he learns that his special tools have been stolen, so he goes on a tour of various movie sets to recover them. As for why the presumably animatronic dragons and shit are trying to kill him, that's not explained -- it's just assumed that everyone and everything naturally hates Tim Allen.
"We saw The Santa Clause, you inhuman monster."
Although the first part of the game features Tim Allen swinging around the forest like Tarzan while chainsawing prehistoric creatures, the next levels range from an Indiana Jones Mayan temple to the final boss fight, which is a giant robot battle on Mars. If we accept the "This is Tim's coke-fueled fantasy" theory, this is the part where he starts a street fight with a hooker.
After this, they cut to him naked, trying to wrestle Richard Karn's beard.
Even if you managed to ignore Tim Allen's likeness and tried to enjoy this as just another good old fashioned dinosaur-punching, robot-killing SNES game, it still wasn't worth playing. The gameplay was tedious and the controls were unclear, since the instruction manual was more of a novelty item thanks to this sign in the middle:
"Or plot ... or logic ... or ..."
Then again, if you bought this game after watching the TV commercial, which showed no gameplay at all, you deserved to be disappointed.