8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Whether you're sitting at home trying to decide what to watch on Netflix or standing in the lobby of a cinema like some sort of caveman, movie posters are important. You've probably stared at thousands of posters over the course of your life before deciding that, fuck it, you're just gonna watch Hot Shots! Part Deux again. We've all been there.

That's why we're always surprised when we notice that famous actors tend to do the exact same oddly specific things in almost every single one of their posters, for reasons that are beyond the comprehension of common mortals like us. For example ...

Nicolas Cage Has to Have Fire in His Posters, Either Below or Behind Him

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Much like Van Halen and their bowl of M&M's, Nicolas Cage must have a clause in his contract stating that he won't appear in any movie that doesn't have fire on its poster. You'll also notice that in all these cases, the fire is either behind Cage or below him, and that he never looks at the fire.

NIColAas CAGE THuS JANLARY HAISE SOME ELL SEASONT OF WITCH THE RON PERLMAN AANK TNE BE N

CAGE ICOLAS ROUS BANGKOA ANANGEROUS leeecocuations al I'S


NICOLAS CAGE JULIANIE MOORE JESSICA BIEL NEXT 0. AN HT 07C COMING soON

NI COLAS CAGE DRIVE ANGRY SHOYIN 3D ALL H EL L BREAKS O0S E 1101 MTLDO COMING son SHOCKTILLYOUDROP.COM


Check out the Spanish Season of the Witch poster for a bonus fireball!

Speaking of Drive Angry, exploding vehicles are a recurring motif in Cage's oeuvre. Sometimes he's behind an exploding car ...

NICOL AS CAGE DRIVE ANGRY REV UP FOR REVENGE. 30 M


"I told you not to use your cellphone at the pump!"

... and sometimes he's running away from it, like that time he starred in a re-enactment of Taken.

N ICOLAS CAGE 12 HOURS. $10 MILLION. 1 KIDNAPPED DAUGHTER STOLEN TIN EDOAA TH DXRSOTOR OF THe EXPENOALES 2


Except that Liam Neeson would have already chopped that fire in the throat.

In Con Air, he's depicted above a plane trying to lift off in the middle of an explosion ...

CAGE CUSAICK MALNOUICE CEME CON AIR PORT OLALOE OA HEMADE LORL tor MANMTA T 08 0 BRRUCNLE UNP.

... and in Knowing, he's standing alone in the middle of the resulting wreckage.

FHM YHE eE DU lo ROROT NICOLAS CAGE KN WTNG WHAT HAPPENES WHEEN TR NUMBERS RUN OUTT 02 T

In Lord of War, he plays an arms dealer, a job that according to the poster consists of literally selling explosions to people.

ER HANDELT MIT WAFFENA UND MACHT EINEN TOOLICHEN DEAL NICOLAS CAGE LTRD OF WAR MAMDLER DES TOODES JARED LETO BRIDGET MOYMAHAN IAN HOLM IND ETHAN HAWKE


"Sure, the one on the left is bigger, but the one on the right will get you more bang for your buck."

Now, we'll admit that there are certain cases where it's somewhat justified, like when his character's head is literally on fire.

LANC 0 H MAWAAL Tsw SV h06 NICOLAS CACE 1MNDS GHOST RIER FEBRLIARY 16

Adnit 5PIRiT af Re 2.1712130

But then you have cases where we don't even remember that many things actually being on fire in the film itself, but they still set the poster aflame anyway:

TE HRLE FEA - NICOLAS CAGE Sfie thoren Ymefic T1 NATIONA IREASURE 17 6 t B18 t tant ALL 18 1 BE EE 1124.4 0011

NICOLAS CAGE 33 men hame 1Y ArDisnEY NATIONAL TREASURE BOOIK oiF SECRETS


"Just throw some torches on there. We told you, it's in his contract."

And finally there's The Wicker Man, the Nicolas Cagest of all movies, in which Cage didn't bother to show up for the poster at all. He was probably supposed to be running away from that fire or something, but without him in the way, we finally get a pure, unobstructed view of the blaze:

Eu N ICOLAS CAGE THE WICKER MAN EVIL IS WAITING ERLei OsanST IFle K AL 2..


Spoiler alert: Cage is inside there getting burned alive. At least it wasn't the bees.

They Keep Putting Zooey Deschanel in Boxes

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

You've probably noticed that Zooey Deschanel seems to play pretty much the same character in every movie she does, like a whiter, quirkier Samuel L. Jackson. She usually portrays a free-spirited, unconventional girl who does whatever she wants -- so it's a little bit ironic that her posters keep trying to put her in boxes. Literally.

Patricia Clarkson Zooey Deschesret Paut Schneider ALL THE REAL GIRLS Lov is A ou2le These aT the pieces. TWO THUMBS UP! ERER

osepH OOn-LEVTt Zoey estHanel (500)DAYS DAYS OF OFSUMMER SMAT, Sexy AND SEROUSLY FUNNY!o Fr TAVS, ANELINig AN


"Nobody puts Zooey in a cor ... oh, OK, I guess they did."

It seems that Zooey's quirkiness is a force that must be contained lest it spill over to the rest of the poster and infect the other actors, so they started boxing her off right from the beginning of her film career -- she's been put in boxes in the posters for Mumford and Manic, and she doesn't seem very happy about it.

Joraaona MUmFORD Some hane all the fun

JOSEPL-GORDON LEVITT I00EY DESCHANEL MKHAL BACALL DON CHEADLE MANAC AHA JOOOAA ACLAME YOU CAN'T ESCAPE YOURSELF BRE R UER WWMOACM iFCFilms


Run, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Run while there's still time.

This tendency continued in her movies Live Free or Die and The Go-Getter, but something happened -- her disruptive influence has shaken up the position of her boxes and those around her. She's breaking free!

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te TAyLOR PLCI 700e1 PCeAL 3UnA MALONE The Go-Getter fi eesee SUNDANCE AUire ww thegogettercom SO


Clever girl ...

It became clear that boxes were no longer enough -- Zooey had to be contained at all costs.

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A OY AMKL BUY BLY B8 AMBIA ESCHANEL JANSEN PRESTON ROMAND WINGE EULOGY A comedy that puts the in haeke in funornt O o LGIE

They eventually figured out a solution in (500) Days of Summer, where the entire marketing campaign consisted of trapping Zooey Deschanel in increasingly smaller boxes until she finally disappears.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


SeyvpnrLevrt ZoYPeswpleL (500) DAYS OF FSUMMER Thee ni L ene SUNDANCE Tiees Lowe. A F000 T06 50 Nadall OLNLT

TS ot atore about love caco Oethan (500) DAYS OF SUMMER


One day, 500 tiny Zooeys will escape. You've doomed us all, you fools.

Owen Wilson Color Coordinates With His Posters

saaa

Either Owen Wilson is obsessive-compulsive about colors matching or he's trying to blend into the background of his posters like a chameleon. It started all the way back in the military drama Behind Enemy Lines and continues in his present day comedies.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. OWEN WILSON DRILEBIT TAYLOR BUDGET BODYGUARD ADD MROCI 2003


And in Drillbit Taylor, which falls into neither category.

For Midnight in Paris, he even wore yellow pants and a blue shirt to match the Van Gogh painting used in the background -- they tried a Picasso first, but Wilson's body parts kept painfully shifting place.

Midnight in Paris Mvienn Dieeeset Kathey FLaates tre Wloodte AIlen Sofriea Mrety Carta Srunl Marion Conard Daehell Mlamer Michael sheen On Ufecun YHoo

But still, this is clearly a deliberate aesthetic choice -- it's not like he actually has mutant powers that allow him to blend into any environment, right? Except that, even when there are more people in the poster, he's the only one who matches the background.

BEN STILLER OWEN WILSON STARSKY EHUTCH THEYRETHEMAN ANEN COMED RROM THE DRECED OE C ANO 9TRP m Pomn Pnlc us en Hle Carn Won nc bchn Aa and Son Do Thee

OWEN WICON ADRIEN BRODY JASON SCHMARTZMAN GURiE THE. DARJEELING LIMIITED Ot TH DENE yy ne SWTYMAV 0N CAANDATOOT ATOTE >O RL 60N Furprac ANENTO STT LDN

FROMTHE DIRECTORS OF THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY AND DUMB AND DUMBER SHOEIKIS JLSOR WISO OWEN HALLPASS MERCHANT STEPKEN NO RULES ONE WEEK- HER IOIHE


The costume designer who gave him bandages that didn't match was summarily executed.

A red, black, and white jacket in Starsky & Hutch, a blue shirt in Hall Pass, and a green coat in The Darjeeling Limited (the beige shirt is probably a printing error). And then there's the poster for How Do You Know:

REESE WITHERSPOON OWEN WILSON PAUL RUDD AND JACK NICHOLSON A NEW COMEDY FROM WRITER-DIRECTOR JAMES L BROOKS How Do You Know 0 DECEMBER17 SONIY


You may recognize Jack's expression as classic "I have 12 Oscar nominations to my name, and yet here I am" disdain.

Now, that's impressive. Here we have four characters: two who don't match the background at all, one who is vaguely in the same color family, and then Wilson, who appears to be wearing a shirt made out of the curtain he's standing in front of.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

This just makes us appreciate Wilson's accomplishments even more: It must be hard to get noticed in Hollywood when your greatest talent is to not get noticed. This might explain why they snubbed him and he didn't even appear in the posters for the Night at the Museum movies.

NIGHT AT MUSEUM THE BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OFE THE BATTLE IS ON THATEN AA DA

But wait a minute ... who's that down there, wearing an outfit matching practically every color in the poster's shifting background?

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


It's Owen Wilson, right? Right?

Christian Bale Can Only Let You See His Right Eye

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

When you're an internationally adored actor, it's hard not to become a bit vain. When you're also Batman, it's impossible. Case in point: Christian Bale knows which one of his eyes is more attractive, and that's the one he wants to appear in all his movie posters.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Deop PUBLIC ENEMIES Tt BALE COTILLARD COMING SOON HLERL


Twice, if possible.

Seriously, the dude has something against his left eye and has apparently banned it from promotional appearances. It's not like this is the result of a Tom Cruise-like obsession with only showing his face from a certain angle, because Bale has employed many different eye-hiding techniques over the years, from covering it in shadows (as seen above) to just turning his head.

BASED ON A TRUE STORY MARK WAHLRERG THE CHRISTLAN BALE FIGHTER AMY ADAMS DECEMRER

R05 ALT TA OWORTPENGON TERMINATOR SALVATLON THE ENO BECINS AT CINEMAS iEm 3

It doesn't matter if he's fighting robots in the future ...

SAM WORTHINOTON 0 SALYARE TTHE ENDD BEGINS


There's no face but what you make.

... performing magic tricks in the 18th century ...

FOM THE IRECTO O -ATMAN BEAINS> .4 MEMENTO HLIGHJACKMAN CHRISTIANBALE SCADGTLOMANSSON MCHAELCAINE ANE yoU WATCHINA CLOSELVT THEPRESTIGE OCTOER 20


We can make do with just the right half of Scarlett Johansson.

... starring in serious historical dramas ...

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

... or singing and dancing in while delivering newspapers ...

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


And trying to nail his best friend's sister.

... he'll only let us see one eye. Wait, is the other side of his face horribly disfigured? Do they have to digitally alter it in movies?

IN A FUTURE WHERE EDEEDOM IS OUTLAVED OUTLAWS WILL BECOME HEROES. CHEISTLAN BALE TAYE D16GS EQUILIBRIUM


The left side of his face features a deformity known as a "second dick."

Catherine Zeta-Jones Really Wants You to Notice Her Right Hip

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Catherine Zeta-Jones has a lot to be proud of, physically. But if there's one feature she values above all else, that's her right hip, so she makes damn sure you notice it.

SEAN CONNERY CATHERINEZETAJONES THE TRAP IS SET. ENTRAPMENT SETESATFY 00B IIN RGmlDue AFMCO TNNEW TNRAPENT IN Et RI AN RN BM NO UARFATK

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES IS VELMA CHICAGO IF YOU CAN'T BE FAMOUS. BE INFAMOUS THIS CHRISTMAS HRAPAK


"Yesh, darling, get that ash a little closher to my mouth."

Entrapment and Chicago are two of her most famous movies, but Zeta-Jones has been drawing attention to her right hip for a long time; she's been doing it from her earliest roles (the little seen Blue Juice) to her most recent ones (the little seen Rock of Ages).

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES EWAN McGREGOR SEAN PERTWEE plen bep

FOU THE DDECTO OfHAIRSPRAY JULIANINE HOUGH DIEGO BONETA RUSSELL BRAND PAUL GIAMATTI CATHERINE ZETA-JONES MALIN AKERMAN MARY J. BUGE ALEC BALOWIN TOM C

Perhaps figuring that the audience has seen enough of her hip by now, in the poster for Intolerable Cruelty, she tries to get George Clooney to look at it. You might think he's doing a great job resisting her charms, but the universal "hiding a boner" posture gives away the fact that he has at least peeked at it.

Engage the enemy. GEORGE CLOONEY CATHERINE ZETA-JONES INTOLERABLE CRUELTY A eomeakie comecy wah Hie 00112 DT t OCTOBER 10


None can resist the hip.

As you can see, she usually accomplishes her objective by standing like her spine is severely dislocated, but the poster for The Rebound proves that she can even manage to do it while sitting.

CATHFRINE EZETAIONES JUISTIN RARTHA theREBOUND Nemte 0 ON BI awuse BON 1901 POLE E0 ERT B 1 1131 B N N She's sta oot it. He's bat etting it.


"If I don't sit this way, my entire skeleton will collapse."

Granted, it's a nice hip (way nicer than any of ours), but there's just so much more to be proud of, Catherine. We don't know why she's so insecure about this. Even the cartoon version of her in Sinbad is oddly enamored with that particular part of her pelvis.

RRAD CATHERINE MICHELLE JOSEPH PIIT ZETA-JONES PFEIFFER FIENNES Sinbad La locnda De Los Sicte Mare


Yet another disappointingly titled work that does not, in fact, star Sinbad.

But she isn't the only one who benefits from this. The makers of The Legend of Zorro were aware that Zeta-Jones' hip works like a black hole that sucks attention, which is probably why they decided to position the movie's logo in such a strategic place.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


Wait, Zorro is in this movie?

Kevin Spacey Is Still Doing Lineups

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Kevin Spacey has been appearing in movies since the 1980s, but he hit it big with The Usual Suspects in 1995, the posters for which featured him and the other characters standing in a police lineup -- which made sense, because that scene is actually in the movie.

S tan e Baldwin ByrnE Palminteri en Perte e Pollak Postlethwaite Spacey 65 6S 6 81 56 5Y 5 5T 46 46 40 a 36 316 I 30 the Usual Suspects FIVE CRIMINA

Stegben abpiel Benicio Chan Kevin Pat Kevis Baltwin Bypie Del JINO Palnintevl Pallal Pstlethwaite Spacey 6'0 IN A WORLD WHEBE NOTHING I WHAT IT EEMT T


As was Benicio Del Toro's perplexing accent.

However, the poster was so iconic that almost every movie Spacey has done since then ...

TOOL PSYCHO IMANEATER isere DABLIE e NNIT CRIN KEVIN JAMIE BTUAN aLY rte ANSTON EL aY hn HORRIBLE BOSSES COMING SOON


We're still trying to figure out what exactly was so horrible about Charlie Day's boss.

... has been trying to put him in some type of lineup ...

UNITED STATES LELAND of s YAN HS N U KEVN VCe CHEADLE GOSLING KLEIN MALONE OLIN SPACEY WILLIAMS R 4Y HN CEASSICS arsonleces

... even if it requires literally drawing lines between the characters. Also, note that the following (sacrilegious) poster is the only one where Spacey isn't in the first or second spot.

INSPIRED BY A TRUE BTORY 29 EIN BY AW THEY SPAEY BETTANY IFIONS BADELEY BAKER MelONNEll MORE TUCG MAAGIN CALL 19-0.54 R9 001 13 134 BE FIRST. BE SMART


Stanley Tucci read the tagline and stole his place.

Some movies even hark back to the whole criminal aspect from The Usual Suspects by making Kevin Spacey stand around with a bunch of tough guys in leather jackets.

Kevin Linda Peter Helen Spacey Fiorentino Mullan Baxendale rolnary oecent 8 VD 07

WRESOL HRRK TOMBRRLABE SILCENV IN THIS CITY. ONLY THE COPS AB ABOVE THE LAW. EDISON


You can tell they're tough because they're in sepia.

Other times, they try to shake things up by putting him in a vertical line instead of a horizontal one ...

HURLYBURLY rrdr .

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

... or just changing the angle to form a diagonal one.

enoe JEFE EWAN HEVN CLOONEY BRIDCES MCRETOR SPACEY COAT MEN THE STARE WHO AT GOATS u CDATS NO ELORY. NOVEMRER C

OO chtAor YANE coeine IN MALONE OLN ecy WAs U UNITED STATES LELAND Cimo Conksien Comeosion. Thev'r al jors 6001 chmind SO 4500 H 31


If you put them together, it's like they're on an X-Men cover.

Natalie Portman Gets Increasingly Bored

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

Natalie Portman has gone through a strange evolution in her movie posters. Usually, actors develop their skills by learning to express a more varied range of emotions, but she's gone in the opposite direction. Early in her career, she smiled all the time -- there always seemed to be something to her right that she found incredibly amusing.

OS71 patolro sararidon portman anywhere but here NATHLE POSTLN AYWHERE RUITHERE S00 HEAWN ROFEROFANS 810 EWRNE WANC 1ouo

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

-0804400 ZACH RRAEE NATALLE PORIMAN GARDEN STATE MARVELOUS FUN... HILARIOIS AND HEARTFELT. BRING IT HONE TONLCHTE ULE


Zach Braff is like "Dammit, Natalie, you're ruining my super-serious art movie."

Portman first started getting some respect as an actor in Closer, which has a poster that required all the actors to look straight ahead and get as serious as possible. So she dropped the smile for this one, but you could still sort of see some trace of mischievousness in her face.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

However, Portman's real turning point was V for Vendetta, where they must have taken 200 different photos before they finally reached the point where she just wanted to go home, as evidenced by the completely bored and emotionless way she's looking at us.

NATALIE PORTMAN HUGO WEAVING VFOR FOR VENDETTA


Which would have made a far more appropriate symbol for Anonymous, if you ask us.

Somehow, this worked out pretty well for her, so she's been doing ...

AN EXTRAORDINARY INTOXICATING MASTERPUECE MAANE WINEE RLA DORTMAN CASSEL KUNIS BLACK SWAN na THE IVRESTLER REOULEM FOR A DEFAM


Apparently Mila Kunis is terrible at oral.

... the exact same bored face ...

Natale Portman Scarlett Johansson Enc Bana other Boleyngirl the 0B 0 BE SELLING NOVEL february

... in every movie since.

THE WOMAN OF SCIENCE THOR MAY 6 LLOLMALVLLCOM

NATALIE PORTMAN IS MIGHY FINE YOUR HIGINIESE APRIL 8


"Sorry, ladies, we've already filled our quota of one female." -- Science

And this doesn't just happen in serious dramas -- Thor and Your Highness are a superhero film and a medieval stoner comedy, respectively, and she still gave us the blank face. This is made even more baffling by the fact that she's never used that expression in the movies themselves. Maybe she just fucking hates doing posters.

Sean Connery Might Be a Giant

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

You know how they say that Tom Cruise is secretly a short person, but you never notice it in his movies? Well, we're convinced that Sean Connery is the opposite -- he's actually the size of the Empire State Building, and the studios have been spending millions of dollars using special effects to make him look like a normal-sized person. At first, we just chalked this up to James Bond and his tendency to attract tiny women who sit on his shoulders.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)

WKlamKMKMMON O0 VORSYBDORDA -4u'-'r)- >9P87 EAT I-IL THUNDENALL


"Ladiesh, if you think thish head is masshive ..."

But no, Sean Connery looks like a giant in movies of all types, from The Avengers to Zardoz.

ciol THENNES THURMAN seaN CONNERY e Iw taryr omad A vbetoe A aneroe 1 1a the aeet ee fe wt navedb Siia Thheok Is s RIE AAA M SNOEY ARVBS RO3O 009VR 70

SEAN CONNERY TARDOZ A ohn Boorman film DVO


Zardoz's mustache has a dandruff problem, hence the meteorological phenomenon known as "snow."

In fact, it looks like Connery has only gotten bigger over the years. Here we see him towering over a nuclear submarine, an airplane, Catherine Zeta-Jones' hip, and the entire New York skyline:

THE HUNT IS ON. 1 KN THHLNT 1 CONNERY THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER ALEC BALDWIN

SEAN CONNERY in FAISOM Terrerists and kidnappers. Colonel Tahlvik has no time fee either. PG


SEAN CONNERY CATHERINEZETAJONES THE TRAP IS SET. ENTRAPMENT SETESATFY 00B IIN RGmlDue AFMCO TNNEW TNRAPENT IN Et RI AN RN BM NO UARFATK

SEAN CONNERY TINDING FORRESTER CIUNNLWTLN NHN TS --0 CWNI LMRAY AMARAN OY aW N


"The volume of phallic objectsh in my postersh is merely a coinshidensh."

Yes, Sean Connery is bigger than an entire city -- the tiny version of him you see on the Finding Forrester poster is actually his cosmic herald, who scouts the universe searching for planets for Connery to devour. And if you think these are just perspective tricks or something, several posters make sure to include other actors as well just to point out that they are but ants next to Connery.

CYRIELALE ASBEFFE SWOrD EIGHLAWSON VALIANT: OF THE or sfGoytant SEAN CONNERY R NR

SEAIN CONNERY RICHARD GERE JULIA ORMOND THle ereaiest Al saalf y for hrrr Lesar FIRST KNIGHT TOORNOO em B00


Ariod doo In the Floidio Evorngiodos 8 a ct thot con save an rocent mon O ot oo o cocin SEAN CONNERY LAURENCE FISHBURNE JUST CAUSE NRNS ON 1AN CUT OR

VIDESCREEN COLLECTION R RICHARD SEAN SAMANTHA HARRIS CORNERY EDAR THE MOLLY MAGUIRES


OK, no more Connery accent, we promise.

The only instance we could find where someone is bigger than Connery in a poster is Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where they presumably used photo trickery to make Ford appear larger because he's technically the star of the movie.

iaas AJOMEs and the LAST CRUSADE

But look at Connery's face there -- he's pissed. He's clearly thinking, "I'll show that whippersnapper." And sure enough, Connery got them to include a second, actual-sized version of Ford right below him. Just to set the record straight.

8 Actors Who Look the Same on Every Movie Poster (Part 3)


"I'm 12 yearsh older and 12 feet taller."

J.F. Sargent does the Twitter and the Tumblr every now and again. Gabe likes email, and always does the same things on Twitter and the online radio station he DJs for. Kier Harris has a Twitter, and you can send him your kidneys via email.



For more on actors doing the exact same thing all the time, check out The 9 Most Typecast Actors of All Time and 7 Actors Typecast in Bizarrely Specific Roles.

And stop by LinkSTORM to see David Wong's best Blue Steel.

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