9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

As you'll soon discover, certain actors seem to have amazingly specific and arbitrary elements that must be included at all costs, logic be damned.
9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

You wouldn't think there'd be many specific rules for movie posters beyond "make the star look cool" and "don't show any dong." But as we've mentioned before, certain actors seem to have amazingly specific and arbitrary elements that must be included at all costs, logic be damned. For instance ...

Colin Farrell Is Always Staring at the Corner of the Poster

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Colin Farrell is a man of many faces, and all of them seem oddly fascinated by the corners of his posters. Seriously, he's covered all four corners by now, multiple times:

EdHaris Sturgess Saoinel Ronan linFarrell Detee Wee COULELES THE WAY BACK INSPIRED BY REALEVENTS E PRIDE EOWARD NORTON COLIN FARRELL LS REAL AND H Ace


"Nothing soothes my troubled soul like a 90 degree angle."

It started innocently enough in the poster for 2001's American Outlaws, with an understated corner-spotting pose he'd later break out again in 2010's London Boulevard:

Cetta Feeet AILERICANL Seett Caan AI Larter OUTLAWE Ry oe10 ERA KNGKTLEY COLIN FARENN DAD londonr IS BOU LEVARN -11 Tet GOOD AGAIIN W STE AET B E CTea


This was followed by a couple of romantic roles where he was clearly way more into the corners than his supposed love interests:

0 0 FU TEN m Den HOME TEND THE DF WORLD THE colin farroll BaE haye ask FNY A -0 the O WANT dust


"They're just not pointy enough. Not like you, corners."

What is it that Colin Farrell finds so perplexing about corners? It's like his characters in these posters are becoming self-aware, peering into the edges of reality, unable to comprehend a world in three dimensions.

FAMILY LOO IS IS HAYLEY ATWELL COUIN FAMiL FARRELL LOO SALLY HAWKINS EWAM TOM CGREGOD WILKINSON DREAM CASSANDRAIS MIAMI VICE


That or Farrell is constantly trying to remember where he left his keys.

Either way, after much deliberation, Farrell seems to have decided that the upper right corner was his favorite, and has spent much of his time staring dreamily into it (while continuing to neglect hot co-stars).

FARSL OLIE KL XER ufo DdONHOININS COUN FARRELL ONDINE Ma JORDAN bebo ALEXANDER ACOCATADY POO O0. 140S 3O1D St ENANCC 00 HE vl O0N


"Oh, corner. Why can't I quit you?"

John Travolta Is Always Separated from His Co-Stars

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

You know how some people don't like the different foods on their plate touching? John Travolta is like that, only with the actors in his movies -- there's always something (a logo, a blank space or whatever) keeping him separated from everyone else. Sometimes he's on the top:

010 PMOENIK 0 TBOS LADDER 49 a 049 0ES 1  804T


And sometimes he's on the bottom:

0-70 6 WASHINGTON TRAVOLTA THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 JUNE 12


Denzel's superior facial hair threw him down there.

Sometimes he's on the left:

TRAVOLTACAGE 1ON NICOLAL FACEIOFF 3er en Ceo EMente 830 12810 OBULIONZOH 60 SUMMER 2004S


And sometimes he's on the right:

TOM LANE JICHIN TRALEEA THE PUNISHER De A E 018 B 10 80 E AA 000 SOLN TES 0 1 01107010 MOPYL


Hell, sometimes he even appears to be behind his co-stars:

heges te n eoe sall YA a arerea Thoek A E CHAINS OF GOLD RAAOLTA COMIND SOONTO Voro


Where he uses Thetans to shrink street gangs.

And other times he appears to be in front, with some type of gun in between:

10 Dsay 7NE PERSS MOREL MNN MTRAN TRAVOLTA RHYS MEYERS TRAVOLTA RHYS MEYERS FROM WITH FROM WITH PARIS LOVE PARIS LOVE fur ett INCINEMAS FEBRUARY 26


"I'M NOT GAY. I have a large compensating gun as a barrier."

It's like he has some contract demand that he doesn't have to be in the same room with the other actors when publicity photos are taken. And then when somebody tries to show him a group shot they constructed out of Photoshop, he's all "WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT! HURRY, DRAW A WALL BETWEEN ME AND JOAQUIN PHOENIX BEFORE HE TRIES TO STEAL MY SOUL!"

Jim Carrey Has Really Flexible Arms

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

If his posters are to be believed, Jim Carrey movies are marketed exclusively on his ability to spread his arms. For example, all we know about Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events is that Jim Carrey's arms are in it, and something scary is happening to children in the space between them.

J CNRREY I 3e SERIE OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS WCRE ny 0N


Also, this image only makes sense if one arm is coming out of his head. Now you can't unsee it.

This tendency started with the poster for Dumb and Dumber, which called for a seemingly impossible shot where both titular characters grab each other's head from behind at the same time. Carrey's ability to rise to the challenge gained him superstar status and a role in Batman Forever.

IM JIN CARREY JFF DANIELS CARREY DUMBDUMER RIDOLER AND J CR E MOBOD DUASA NOMAA A UN iG ELEE


"Damn it, Steve, don't you know people only pay to see my wacky arm action?"

After half-assing it for Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (which featured only one elevated arm), Carrey was back in full swing for Liar Liar -- in this poster, he's saying, "Look, America. Look how wide I can spread my arms."

JIM CARREY TRU ME LIARLIAR LIARLIAR e 28 3 0300 0 5 100 DDE N OPENS NE 12 AT A CINEMA NEAR YOUL HONESTI


"LOOK."

This was all leading up to Yes Man, which depending on the market featured Carrey stretching his arms in a field ...

JIM CARREY YES MAN 1000 CAN N EWG 12:1908


... while bungee jumping ...

0XKAM K3PP SAHO00MOBT oo MOra OHTD Toe 323H BCER OA TOBOPVI C 115 SHBAPA


... or on the back of a motorcycle driven by Zooey Deschanel.

JIM CARREY YES MAN


"Your arms are inferior, and the whole world shall know it!"

Of course, this was probably less "let's reference other posters" and more "they're frozen this way by now."

Johnny Depp's Is Hiding the Top of His Head

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Usually you can tell what type of movie Johnny Depp is starring in by the type of headgear he's wearing on the poster. For example, you can tell how fantastic his films are by how much shit he's put on his bandanna: ranging from "nothing" in realistic drama The Brave to "a complete dead bird" in the upcoming Lone Ranger movie.

MARLON JOHNNY M KNIOTIRLEY BRANDO DEPP THE BRAVE PIRates CARIBBEAN KE O 1 NAR A EN Y NOY ut


We can expect Lone Ranger to have aliens and time travel in it.

Want to know how intoxicated he gets on a film? Just look at the color of his fedora. The brighter the tone, the more wasted he gets.

JORXTOIPP BFNICIO brarote JOHNNY DEPP Feara LO4THAING PUBLIC ENEMIES WGAIS RUMDIARY his


We'll admit there are a few other things to go by on the Fear and Loathing poster.

Meanwhile, his weirder films rely on a series of increasingly complicated top hats: The stranger the hat, the creepier the character.

roMoHetr JONNNX DEPP Charie CHOCOLATE FACTORY DEAD MAN ALCE WnePnD JOHNNY DE MWYTIMTYYEWME


It says something when we'd rather choose the guy with the gun to babysit than the other two.

Apparently Johnny is pretty self-conscious about the top of his head: Even when he doesn't have a hat on, he always makes sure to crop that part out of the poster.

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster


... usually while looking to the left and/or standing by his female co-star.

HEADS WILL ROLL DEDD GITHAM E FROM HELL MeepyHollow 1e LOMNNY DT CHRISTINA aecu Moasnte trerrany. >1 0OM 0 Cr O 090520 1S -o srtn OCTOBER NOVEC


In sum, Depp has gone through a lot of trouble to hide his hair over the past couple of decades ... but we remember what it looks like, Johnny. We remember.

The story of an uncommonly gentle man. lnnecence s what be Inowas Beauty 1s whar he NOPE edward SCISSORHANDS


Sweet Jesus.

Jennifer Aniston Is Always With a Guy and Never Really Happy About It

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Jennifer Aniston has been in a lot of romantic comedies; more specifically, romantic comedies where she's sitting or standing next to her co-star and looks at him like she could do a lot better. And that goes for everyone from Happy Gilmore to King Leonidas:

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster


In the case of these films, she's probably just standing in for the audience.

The plot for all these movies calls for that type of reaction, but even when it doesn't, she still looks utterly disappointed. It's not really something she can control. It's like once you've dated Brad Pitt, every other male on the planet is sort of "meh."

PAULRUDD JENNIFER ANISTON A Comedy f Wing Delcocy ond Heart 'Afontotic Performonce from Jennifer Anddon wh Ronoe and Deon 'Sy Comic ond ouching' E D


But ... Paul Rudd!

However, the dissatisfied look can also be found in some earlier roles that predate her relationship with Pitt:

ba NN Meexyge rem the Director af Dream The Inathers chatler SKYE ANISTON ASTIN for Insomniae an SHE'S THE ONE As Etaar urns n A Kcock O A OT of 3 roc


"Hands off my subpar boyfriend, bitch."

So who's she measuring these guys against? David Schwimmer? Or does it go back even earlier than that? What does it take to impress Jennifer Aniston?

Leprechaun WARWICK DAVIS JENNIFER ANISTON Her luck just ran out.


"Oh, my."

Anne Hathaway Has to Be in Front of Other People

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Anne Hathaway has a habit of positioning herself in front of other people in her movie posters, getting to the point where sometimes her presence alone seems to make everyone around her magically turn blurry or invisible.

LA Anne tA Hthaway Patrick Wton RACHEL PASSENGERS GETTING MARRED 240L Lise OCTORLE 2004


Usually it takes some side-boob to accomplish this effect in real life.

This makes sense now that she's a big star, but she's actually been doing this since her very first movie roles: In the Princess Diaries series, Hathaway consistently managed to plant herself in front of Julie Andrews, despite not being the one who was in Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music.

nOM EPscioR OERTY WCMANA sea BE LE ANDNS ANNE HATMANAY LL VS WALA LLL TLN S. - e D PRINCESS TO PRINCESS THE DEARIRES2 DIARIES 20:OYT S BOCKES SHE QULE


"Can we make the title go behind me, too? On the back of the poster?"

In fact, if you look at all her breakout roles, it's like she's literally pushing her way to prominence. In her first serious role, Nicholas Nickleby, she somehow ended up in front of everyone else (even the main character, technically).

tH IOVE StOkY GAAfyST ININA NICHOLAS' NICKLEBY BECOMING Jane U A


In Becoming Jane, she appears to be pushing her co-star out of the poster, and then in Get Smart, her first action role, the entire theme of the marketing campaign was her and Steve Carrell competing to be on front.

SAVING THE WORLD... AND LOVING I. STnt 4T au carel HATHAWA7 GET SMART GET SMART EE DBRIGRASOREIN 6-20 6-20


The winner gets to play Catwoman.

And finally, she's the only distinguishable face in Rachel Getting Married, in which she plays a self-centered maid of honor who makes her sister's wedding all about her. So apparently the poster is just her in the process of ruining a wedding photo with her face.

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster


"Toasty!"

The result? Her first Oscar nomination. There's still time for her to put herself in front of Batman in the next Dark Knight Rises poster and get a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Steve Martin Has No Idea What the Hell Is Going On

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Since the '70s, Steve Martin has been doing that thing where he's in some sort of outrageous situation and, judging by the look on his face, expects you to explain to him how he got there.

He 25 2 004 Blsck sarecrocoer's 04 who W remed e wW31 5oted. STEVE MARTIN. The JERK - BERNADETTE CATUN JACKIE PETES ADAMSL MASON t T CA GOE WOY T ATTN


"Well? I'm waiting."

However, the Steve Martin quizzical stare is not as simple as it seems: There are many ingredients to it. For an optimal result, make sure to position yourself to the left of someone, preferably a woman, preferably named Goldie Hawn.

Tey 7 STEVE MARTIN COLDIE HAMN OUT IMS TOWNERS oF- one SVEMARTN LILY TCMLLIN ALLOFME AY


If you can't afford Goldie Hawn, wait a few more years on Kate Hudson.

Next, open your eyes wide and tilt to the left ...

Steve Marti Golche Flewm hrnint osae inte Nate bant Housesitter K NREOOID A S 1010 S1 D 2 2OE LOAT 20 0 -000OLSL ONE 6N--


... and finally, make sure that the person to your right is trying to touch you and looks way too excited to be there.

STEVE MARTIN JOHN CANDY Seve Martin Qucenl Latiah A Jo Huses Fan PLANES.TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES Be Bringing down the House bring ie manckh MIDISCRREE C


It's telling that he apparently considers Queen Latifah more repulsive than John Candy.

Congratulations! You are now a Steve Martin poster. Feel free to add brides/babies at your convenience.

STEVEMARTIN DIANE KEATON MARTIN SHORT EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. . 7N FATHER the BRIDE FATHER Of of the BRIDE PART


And age backward, while you're at it.

Kevin Bacon Stares into Your Soul

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

When Kevin Bacon started out in Hollywood, he was the typical teenage heartthrob who enchanted women and confused men, and as such he perfected the art of the intense stare:

WIDSCRE COLLCTIONL 1 alas he said,. she said footloocd 12


"I've eyes only for you, half-naked Cheeto man."

The problem was, as time went by and Bacon got older and slightly creepier, he no longer got the same type of parts ... but he never stopped doing the stare.

IFLATLINERS Some lines shouldn't be crossed.


For anyone but a movie star, that look means a one-way trip to the sex offender registry.

He just ...

GARY OOMAN KEVINBACON CRINTAAL LALW MVICARKWAUIOWIM OVOWIIK PAOMRBO TOL 18 03 FA V 14' A0 9 Dl FU HO U0HOAE HETALE


... kept ...

IT WAS THE PERFECT CRIME STLART KEVIN UNTIL SHE PUSTS 1 AE THE PPKYCTVICTIM WNSEND BACON AND haks Tah 0e1 1 ait A4 123 TRAPPED COAUING SOON


... doing it.

Bacon doesn't even appear in that last film -- he just showed up in the picture, like the kid in Three Men and a Baby. The upside is that by now you can just take a picture of Kevin Bacon, add some weird shit around it and bam, you've got yourself a horror picture.

SPECIAL LDILON KEVIN BACON STIROE KEVEN BACOR ECHOES STIROF ECHCES


"How did it look? Was that sexy? Hey, this is a romantic comedy, right?" "Y-yes."

Jack Nicholson Really Wants to Show You His Teeth

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster

Jack Nicholson has arguably the most famous set of teeth on the planet. Think back to the most iconic roles in his career and you'll notice a pattern: They all grinned like complete maniacs.

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster


And they were all that, but we're sure that's just a coincidence.

The problem is that Nicholson's teeth are such a big audience draw that his posters often show him smiling in situations where no one would ever be that thrilled, like when they're going to hang him in Goin' South ...

9 Actors Who Do the Exact Same Thing on Every Movie Poster


If we hadn't seen the movie, we'd assume it was about auto-erotic asphyxiation.

... or when he's literally living in the Great Depression in Ironweed ...

ONINERAD TILL TYA odAL LOR SASTA BUYDROLT MIDDIUN 640 IACK NICHOLSON MERYL STREEP IRONWEED BEME


"No, this is my sad face."

... or when he's trapped in a nuthouse where they're going to fry his brains in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest ...

5ACADEM  Winner ot ACADEMY AWARDS th BEST PICTURE ES JACK NICHOLSON ladk Nichobson FLEW OVER Einer ONE flg iber das Kadaxoksnest JACK NICHOLSON THE CU


Which has a lot of ...

prelet nad JCK NICHOLSON. OMANA kukaccim LOT NAD CUKULC2M 16-- GNOR2DEM Fm USA et Ho ARl termah Jees Niemlsos JACK NICHOLSON Gouk KUSU ONE O cns G NT


... interesting posters.

... or, hell, when he's just straight up gonna die in The Bucket List.

AK MONAN NICHOLSON FREEMAN THE BUCKET LIST BF 1M 770


Our bucket list just involves being in the same room as Morgan Freeman.

Of course, looking at As Good as It Gets and The Bucket List up there begs another question -- how long has it been since Nicholson changed his sunglasses? Or does he have to wear them all the time now because otherwise the white of his teeth would blind him?

BRNCE YO RSELF LOR ELNIN HI PLANT 10 1AVLE Jack Diane JACK NICHOLSON ELLEN Something's BARKIN MANTROUBLE Gotta Give MOR TMAN HR HAIT LACK VIcaDL<OS HE


Maybe he and Jet Li should trade.

Chris writes for his website and tweets. Follow Kier's mad ravings on Twitter. Gabriel is on Twitter, and hopes his friends in the band The Ranks can one day be as famous as everyone on this list.

For more reasons to shake your head slowly at celebrities, check out The 6 Most Misguided Causes Ever Made Famous by Celebrities and 5 Bizarre Outbursts By Celebrities You Thought Were Sane.

If you're pressed for time and just looking for a quick fix, then check out The Baffling New Trend in Movie Poster Design

And stop by LinkSTORM to get your week off to a bitchin' start.

And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed.

Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infographic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?